The Words We Could Never Say
by Sapphire Smoke
Summary: **A REMAKE** There was a lot of emotions Faith thought she would see from Buffy, but jealousy was never one of them. •Buffy/Faith•
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** The Words We Could Never Say  
**Author:** Devereauxx  
**Fandom:** Buffy The Vampire Slayer  
**Rating:** M  
**Pairing(s):** Buffy/Faith  
**Timeline:** Post "Chosen", though has nothing to do with the season 8 comics.  
**Summary:** There was a lot of emotions Faith thought she would see from Buffy, but jealousy was never one of them.  
**A/N:** This is a remake of the story _**She's Mine**_ that I wrote when I was 17 (I can't link it on here, but it was on AFF under my old pen name Sapphire Smoke). Seriously, if you find it, read at your own risk, but for the love of god read this first. Ha. I cringed when I read it. Man... my writing then... but, anyway. I thought it would be fun to do, remake something from almost six years ago. It'll probably be a bit longer than that was. Alright, yeah, it will be. But that's cause nothing flowed well in that one. For. Real. I'll probably change some things up too. Hell, already am. Alot. Er...

**CHAPTER ONE**

Faith feels like she's back in high school being in this fuckin' thing.

Not that she actually finished it, though she was there for a good year and a half. But the heat in the bus is making the air stale, which would have been bad enough if it wasn't tainted with the distinct smell of blood and sweat to polish it all off. It ain't like it was hell, nah. Faith's been in hell, and this wasn't it. She's not complaining; not really, not after everything. But fuck, some air would be nice, y'know? Crack a damn window and just let her finally _breathe._ It's felt like so long since she's been able to just breathe.

It's always one thing after another, hasn't it? Shit piled on top of more shit topped off with some shitty fuckin' sprinkles. Mother's a drunk, Watcher's dead, that whole evil stint that just… fuck. Blame it on the adrenaline and the hormones, or something. The fact that she's only got half a brain. Whatever. That whole screwed up mess and the whole screwed up mess that came after when she tried to just fuckin' off herself since obviously the world would have been better off. The whole disaster that was B comin' to Angel's side of town to tell him that she ain't worth fixing. Jail. Angelus. Coming back to Sunnydale. Buffy. The First. B… fuckin' _Buffy._

She just needs to breathe.

But that's how it was, wasn't it? Save the freakin' world, again, whooptie-friggin-do… and then you find yourself stuck in a hot crowded bus, driving down the highway towards the next apocalypse. There's a metaphor in there somewhere probably. Faith looks out the window, watching the scenery roll by like nothing ever happened. The rest of the world is so ignorant; content on seeing only the things they can handle seeing. Faith maybe misses that a little. Not that she wasn't ignorant as fuck even when she did know that the things that go bump in the night actually existed, but regardless.

But it's over, right? For now. Sunny D is a crater in the ground, something that's gonna baffle scientists for freaking years probably. It ain't like she misses it; it's nothing like that. That place was filled with bad memory after bad memory. Hurt, pain, destruction. But there was something about it that she can remember; maybe only briefly in the back of her mind that just didn't completely _suck_. Lights, heat, moving, laughter, music, lipstick, fuckin' leather pants and freedom. If only for a moment.

Coming back there was more of an unconscious decision rather than something that was fully thought out and planned. If she did plan it out, maybe she would have thought twice, but even now she doubts it. Job, destiny, something like that. Guilt, maybe. Redemption was probably on the menu too. But she's told that Buffy needs her and like some electric pull she finds herself back to where the nightmares started.

B was looking for all the help she could get, but Faith's pretty damn sure the last thing she was looking for was her. But it ain't a choice, never was. Never will be. It rips her apart inside and fuck, yeah, maybe that's where the violence came from in the first place; being so unwanted. But it wasn't like she should have expected anything different. That's how her life was since the minute she was born; unwanted. But it was different with B, but things were always different with her, weren't they? Slayer connection; dreams. Makin' the bed and counting down till the world ends. But Faith's world already ended when she met Buffy.

Or maybe it just began. Hell, she was never too good with all that deep philosophical crap.

Stupid little girl crushes and the desire to be noticed. Stand out in a crowd and have everyone just _see_ who she was, or more like who she wanted to be. Sexy, wild, untamed and uncontrollable. Passion and anger and lust and love. It was all about feeling. Feeling anything, really. Feel just to know she's alive, that she's still standing and she's still fighting, despite it all. But she felt too much and she felt it too fast and god fucking _damnit_ she seriously blames the whole slayer thing for it all. Feeling her when they weren't even touching. It was intoxicating and new and she just wanted to wrap herself up in it and just let go.

Letting go is what started the whole mess though. She let go without realizing where the hell she was gonna fall to.

Most of that part of her life though was more due to confusion though. Physical feeling wasn't anything she was new to. She lost her virginity at twelve and yeah, not she's exactly happy about she became such a little slut at a young age, but there ain't no point on dwelling about it. But it was all confusion and needing to feel. It didn't matter with who, it never really mattered. Conquering; might have been about that too. That might have been how it started with B; just needing to conquer her. The first slayer; the best. Faith was sloppy seconds and her teenage ego was not about to have that written in the history books.

It wasn't like Faith was new to sex or sexuality at that time in her life, but finding herself feeling like this strange blonde bitch owns a part of her soul from day one was confusing and fuckin' scary. Maybe it's some slayer mystical thing; two slayers, one soul or some crap like that. But now being in a bus full of slayers and not feeling like a single thing has changed between her and any of them, she knew that conclusion was pretty much made of shit and excuses. And it freaks her out, even now. Knowing that it wasn't just because of the slayer thing. Knowing it was just her and her fucked up head and loving things that destroy her.

And yeah, it's gotta be love, doesn't it? There's no other explanation for this whole… whatever. Shit-fest. It'd explain why the hell she hurts every time Buffy looks at her. Why she ran down to her own personal hell without even thinking twice about it. Why she feels the pull and the ache and the desire to just make everything _better. _Not that she really thinks she could.

Buffy… Buffy's accepted her, if only for the moment she needed to. Clocked her once good in the jaw and then gave her the keys to the ride as she ran off and cried. But she came back, and shit went south and then back north again and… fuck, explosions and craziness and hell… here they were. In this freaking bus, and Faith ain't gotta a clue on how this is gonna play out from here on out.

Faith looks over as she feels someone slip into the seat next to her. She cocks an eyebrow at Dawn, who slinked down low, knees on the seat in front of her, clearly not wanting to be seen by anyone at the front of the bus. "What's up, shortie?"

Dawn makes a face at the nickname, but doesn't say anything about it. She looks up at her, and asks in this way that makes Faith know that the kid knows she's doing something wrong, "You got a cigarette?"

Great, cause that's what the kid needs. A smoke. And just what she needs, right? Having B ride her ass cause she gave her one. Yeah, no thanks.

"B know you smoke?" she asks, knowing full well the answer before it comes out of her mouth.

"No."

"Bad for you, y'know."

"Thanks for the health lesson, Faith, but I did take that class in school," Dawn retorts, smoothing out her jeans with her hands. Anxious. She can see it with how her fingers twitched and she shifts a bit at the anticipation. Damn, is the kid addicted already?

But Faith knows that feeling. Cigarettes were her nasty little habit she picked up in jail. It wasn't like she had anything better to do than just work out and smoke all damn day, anyway. And yeah, watching Dawn crawl inside of her own skin makes her feel a bit for her. She knows what it's like when you're out. Besides, the girl could usually not bear to even be within a ten foot radius of her. She's nice enough to her face,_ now _anyway, but Faith knows she's still upset about the shit that went down years ago. So being here, asking her for one? Gotta suck.

Damnit.

She's sliding the pack of smokes out of her pocket before she can think about how this is gonna probably get her screamed at for the next couple hours about how she sucks at being a role model, but it ain't like she didn't know that already. She's not asking to be anyone's mentor. She flips open the pack and offers it to Dawn, and she pulls one out and gives Faith a little smile. Small, but it was there.

"Thanks."

"Don't light it up here; windows are busted. Won't go down. Wait till we stop," Faith tells her, and she watches Dawn's fingers tap lightly on her jeans. Lightly, but almost erratically. Damn, well, she needs a cigarette too anyway. Faith stands up, leaning over the seat in front of her as she calls out to the front:

"Hey! I need to pee."

"Charming," Buffy responds dryly, looking back down at her. Faith just shrugs. Charming was never something she was anyway. She watches Buffy sigh and lean over to talk to Giles. When she turns back she tells her, "Ten minutes. Think you can hold it or do I need to find you a Gatorade bottle?" Snarky.

"Ten minutes is cool," Faith responds, slipping back down into her seat. Dawn gives her another appreciative look.

"So when this start, then?" Faith asks her as she settles back in, rolling her neck a bit to get the kink out. Even if she didn't need a smoke, a rest stop at this point was vital. It was too cramped and too damn hot. Dawn looks confused for a minute, so Faith motions to the cigarette between her fingers that's waiting to be lit.

Dawn just shakes her head, "Oh. Just. The Key thing. It kind of messed with me. You think your whole life you're real only to wake up one day to find out you're just some mystical—whatever. It was just the stress, I guess. Used to bum them from Spike," Faith watches the emotion play over the girl's face at his name. A soldier they lost in the battle, but so much more than that to, hell, everyone else maybe. Some of them. But Dawn continues, not letting in control her, "But Buffy never took enough notice to realize what was going on. Too caught up in everything else."

Faith just nods; she got that. Waking up and you're whole life has changed. She used sex the first time and yeah, the second it was cigarettes. Though that was more of a wake up and realize you're life is over thing. Just gonna be the same thing day after day. It just kinda gets to you.

Dawn looks at her and states, "You never used to smoke either."

"Shit changes."

"Yeah."

Understatement. Everything changes, all the time. One extreme to the other and back around again, making you dizzy and wanting to throw up. There's silence between the two girls again, and Faith looks up to the front of the bus, watching Buffy tend to one girl's wound on her arm. Always the savior, huh? She used to hate her for that. Now… fuck, whatever now is. Now is just now.

"So what's the deal with you two?"

Faith turns to looks at Dawn, confused. This whole talking thing was not just weird, it was unexpected on so many levels. "Me and B?" Faith asks, wondering why she wants to know. Why she even cares.

"Yeah." She flicks the cigarette between her fingers in anticipation. Maybe she's talking just to pass time.

"I dunno."

Dawn looks at her in a way that makes Faith thinks she should have understand more of what she meant. She smooths out her pant legs again, pursing her lips together for a moment before turning her head to look back at Faith. "I was just trying to see if everything is cool between you two again. Or, okay, not _cool _exactly. Just… better. Than before."

Once again Faith is deep in the realm of 'why does she even care?' But she just shrugs, trying to make light of the situation. Like nothing mattered, when in reality everything mattered. "It ain't like we're besties or anything. Ain't ever gonna be that. Ain't ever gonna come anywhere close to that. You know. With all this rain of shit we poured on each other back then. But. I dunno. Guess she's… just whatever about it now. Maybe."

More silence as Dawn thinks about that. She takes a breath before saying, "She talked about you a lot. When you were gone. Locked up."

"Hate and anger, blood and guts probably."

Dawn shakes her head, "No. Not all the time." She's quiet for a minute, like she's trying to decide if she should even say anything. Faith just watches her, her curiosity spiked just due to the whole… adultness of this conversation. What happened to little annoying Dawn? Whiny and bratty? Who was this in front of her, and why the hell didn't Faith realize she had grown up until just now?

The world continues to just pass her by, huh. Figures.

"You made her sad, you know," Dawn says finally. She doesn't look at her though; she's looking at Buffy across the way.

"Angry," Faith corrects.

"No. I mean sad," Dawn says, then her eyes look over to rest on Faith. "She won't say it outloud. She likes it up there; where she can look down and control everything around her. She couldn't control you though. Maybe she thought you should be up there too with her. I don't know. But she was happy for a little while when you came. I remember that. She's been sad ever since the Mayor. She talks about you and I see it."

Faith doesn't really know what to say to that for a minute. It's weird, having this conversation with Buffy's little sister. She's really not so little anymore though. "I fucked up," is all Faith offers her, training her eyes back out the window. Another understatement.

"Yeah," Dawn agrees. There's more silence as they pull off the highway. "I looked up to you a lot, you remember that?"

"Yeah, kid. I remember," Faith says, her voice low and… shit. Sad. Yeah, she remembers. She remembers Dawn wanting to practically be her and how annoying it was when she would steal her favorite lipstick and try to talk like her. But now? Now it just seems so screwed up. A memory that never really happened. "Stupid thing to do."

"Probably. But I think I did it cause Buffy did. Younger sister syndrome or something."

That makes Faith turn to look at her. "B never wanted to be like me."

"I think she still kind of does," Dawn tells her, and Faith can feel the bus rolling to a stop as they reach their destination. Well, their designated rest stop. She shrugs a bit. "You were free. She never had that. With mom and me she could never just run off and do whatever she wanted. Think she envied you for it."

People were starting to pile out, and as Dawn gets up to leave, Faith asks, "When did you grow up?"

Dawn smirks a little, but it's almost sad. "When you weren't around."

Faith watches her leave, watches all of them leave. Damn. Yeah, alright, that hurt. It was supposed to though probably. It was all so messed up, every single part of this. Her life. The world. It's like she left and when she came back everything was all still the same but still so fucking different. But the world keeps turning.

Ain't nothing ever gonna wait for you.

**TBC…**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

This little hick town don't know what hit them.

People were staring as they all filed out of the bus, some of the new slayers injured and bloody. Mother's put a hand on their children and steered them in the opposite direction; probably thinking that they're all trouble. _Hell, we got rid of the trouble, lady._ You're welcome. But it ain't like Faith could blame them; she could see what they all looked like. A mess. Beaten, dirty, and tired. Probably a bit scary and overwhelming, yeah.

She doesn't even bother with the bathroom; it wasn't like she really needed to go in the first place. The line is now out the door anyway, and her patience isn't something she's well noted for. Taking out her pack of smokes and sliding one out, she looks around for Dawn, but can't find her. Figuring she's trying to stay out of sight from Buffy, she turns the corner and goes around the other side of the little convenience store their party seemed to have taken over. She catches sight of her, cigarette in hand, tapping her foot anxiously. She doesn't have a light.

"Heads up," Faith calls out to her, and when Dawn looks up she tosses her lighter. Dawn catches it eagerly, lighting her cigarette with a flick of her thumb. As she exhales the smoke she leans back against the wall, relaxing finally.

"Thanks," she says, handing Faith back her lighter once she's walked over to her. Faith just shrugs in response as she places her own cigarette between her painted lips and lights it.

"B catches you, you didn't get it from me," she tells her, the smoke forming around her words as she speaks.

"Noted."

The silence the falls between them isn't weird this time, it's more comforting. Maybe just relief. Addictions and their control and all that. Feed it and maybe you get calm. But as Faith flicks her ash on the ground she looks over at her, the guilt from the last conversation hitting her a bit. "Sorry I… ah. Didn't turn out to be the best role model, or whatever."

"Over it," Dawn replies, placing the cigarette between her lips again and taking a drag.

"You sure?"

Dawn looks over at her, exhaling a large cloud, obscuring their view of each other for a moment. But Faith doesn't move, she just looks at her. "It still pisses me off," Dawn tells her honestly. She flicks her cigarette, watching the ash fall. "All of it. You were like a second sister. Sorta. I don't know. Pissed me off. Not that you just screwed up, well, everything. But that you didn't even bother to try and fix it."

"Trying now."

"Might be a little too late," Dawn tells her, and Faith can feel the rocks pile up in the pit of her stomach. But then Dawn shrugs and says, "Might not. I don't know. I don't exactly hate you anymore for it. Buffy doesn't either. But we're both still pissed off. I think everyone is."

Faith could take that. She already knew that, to some degree. It isn't like everything is going to go back to the way it was, before all the bad. The world doesn't work like that. She's about to say something, when she hears Buffy exclaim, "DAWN!"

Dawn drops the cigarette automatically, her shoe covering it to put it out. Maybe to hide it, even though it was already pointless. And here comes Buffy, hands on her hips in this wave of self-righteous glory. That will never change.

"What the _hell _do you think you're doing?!"

Dawn's face colors in annoyance, and Faith can already start to see the Dawn that _she _knew start slipping out again. Maybe it was because she was around Buffy. Siblings tend to do that, or so she's heard. "It's none of your business what I do."

"The hell it isn't! What are you doing _smoking?!"_ she's shrieking now, and it makes Faith wince as she backs up. Might as well get the hell outta dodge before this shit storm get's pointed at her.

"I really don't need you on my back right now, Buffy. I just needed one, okay? Damn," Dawn exclaims, and yeah, alright, she's back to being a teenager; defiance and all of that.

Faith was almost gone, so _damn_ close, when Buffy rounds on her. "Where the hell do you think you're going? If I find out this was your doing I will kick your ass nine ways till—"

"I didn't get it from Faith," Dawn interrupts, and Buffy has this look that crosses across her face that Faith can't read before she turns and faces Dawn again.

"I will not have you smoking! It's a disgusting habit. You're going to get winkles and your teeth will turn yellow and just… ew. Seriously, Dawn."

"You're not mom, Buffy. So just… quit trying to be. This is my life, and if I want to make my lungs black then I will!" Dawn yells, stomping her foot just like a child as she storms off. Yup, she was back to being the Dawn, Faith knew. But hell, she's still in that awkward teenage phase. Part woman, part child, and _all _confusing. She can't blame her for it.

"Lot of help _you_ were," Buffy snaps as she turns back to Faith. She raises her eyebrows.

"Me? What did I do?"

"Encouraging her. You're a shit role model," Buffy tells her, frustrated. She starts to walk past her, away, just angry in her little blaze of fuckin' annoying glory but Faith isn't gonna just take that. She doesn't need all this crap right now, not from her. They just finished this huge battle, rather not start another one. And yet, all she can do is snap back:

"Excuse me? It ain't like I handed the kid a cigarette and told her she should shed some years off her life and forfeit her left lung cause it'd be _fun._ I was just there. Besides, she's been smoking for years."

That makes Buffy stop, and Faith can notice her sigh a little. Maybe in defeat. It's unusual, her just giving up on an argument so quickly, but she's tired. They all are. "She told you that?" she asks, without looking back at her. Another sigh, then a quieter, "Figures."

"Figures what?"

"Nothing," Buffy replies. "Just. Her telling you." She takes another breath and then starts walking towards the front of the store. Faith follows.

"How does that even fit inside the realm of 'figures'?" she asks, not understanding. "The girl's still pissed at me about… hell. Everything. And I ain't someone anyone goes to keep their secrets. That requires trust."

"And yet she just did it," Buffy says, and Faith can tell there's some hurt in her voice. Maybe because Dawn felt like she couldn't go to her about it.

"Not outta trust, B. Outta addiction. I'm sure I wasn't her first choice."

"So you did give her one."

That makes Faith stop. Shit. Walked right into that one, didn't she? But Buffy ain't mad, she's just… tired. That's really all Faith can say to explain it. "Yeah," Faith tells her, just doing the honesty thing. Best policy or whatever.

"And she lied to protect you."

"Yeah. I guess."

"From me."

"I guess."

"Congratulations," Buffy responds, stopping when they get to the front of the store. Faith feels like that should have been sarcastic, but she didn't hear a hint of it in her voice. Buffy leans against the wall, watching all the girls enjoy the fresh air. Laughing, talking. Being thankful they're alive. But not her. She's pensive, quiet. Faith just watches her a little.

"On?" Faith asks, though isn't sure if she should.

"Just. I don't know," Buffy says, but can't seem to find the words, if she even knew what they were in the first place. "You know."

Faith does know. It's moving forward, at least with someone. But she looks over at Buffy, and it just, fuck, hurts. _Again._ Like always. Rips her apart cause she can't ever more forward with her. At least not, hell, forward _enough._ They weren't ripping each other's throats out, but they ain't friends.

There's a light breeze, and it feels good flowing through Faith's hair. She sighs a bit, looking over at the sun. Past five now; it's gotta be. Don't know where the hell they're gonna stay for the night, but something will be figured out, probably. Unless they're all gonna crash on the bus and for the love of everything she prays they don't have to do that.

"So where are you gonna go?" Buffy asks her suddenly, taking Faith out of her thoughts. "After we get to LA, I mean."

Well, that answered that question. "That's where we're going? Thought Angel heading up the Big Bad's office wigged you out."

"It does," Buffy says, wrapping her arms around herself a little. "I don't understand how he— but, whatever. We have a dozen girls with new superpowers and we need a safe place. Least for little bit. Until everyone is patched up and we have a plan."

Faith nods a bit, looping her thumbs in her belt loops and leaning against the side of the building. "Dunno where I'll go," she tells her honestly. She shrugs. "Around. Does it matter?"

"No. Yeah. I don't know. It could. Just in case…" Buffy trails off though, shrugging a bit herself. "Boston?"

"Fuck no. Staying as far away from there as possible." Too many bad memories there. She just went back to one hell hole; she'd rather not go back to another. But she never really thought about this. The after. Hell, maybe cause she didn't think she'd be around long enough for there ever to be an after.

Buffy bit down on her tongue lightly as she stares off in the distance. "You should… stick around. For a little while," she tells her finally. It makes Faith raise her eyebrows in surprise as she looks over at her.

"Why? You gonna miss me?" she asks, a teasing smirk on her face. She had to. Just to… hell, get some normalcy. Least normal the way she liked it. Missed it, even. It seems like Buffy missed it to though, and Faith can see her crack a smile despite herself.

"Not what I meant, you cocky asshole," Buffy says, but its light. She's still smiling a bit to herself, but then it's gone. Back to business. "What I meant was just… you know. New slayers and all. We're going to have to train them; teach them. I can't do it all on my own."

"And you sure you want me near these girls, teachin' them shit?" Faith asks, the surprise evident in her voice.

"You can teach them stuff I can't."

"Like what? Like how to fuck up? Faith's lesson on what_ not_ to do as a slayer?" Faith snorts, but it's not funny. It never will be. It just fuckin' hurts.

"Don't… don't be a child," Buffy tells her, finally turning to look at her. Faith just lets it slide; she doesn't want to argue over her calling her a name. They were too old for all of that. "You know that's not what I meant either. Least. I don't know. Not like that. But yeah, a bit. Teach them how out of control the whole thing can seem; how you can wrap yourself up in it. Teach them what it means if they go down that path. Teach them about redemption."

"I ain't the teaching type, B."

"Never thought you were the say you're sorry type either," Buffy retorts, but it's quiet. She purses her lips together, and looks away again. She sighs a bit. "Things change. People change. You never know. You could be really good at it."

"Figured you'd want me out of your hair the first chance you got."

"No. I think I want to be there when more congratulations are in order," she says simply, like it doesn't mean way more than just those few words.

"What's with the sudden faith in me?" Faith asks, looking at her like she doesn't know who's standing next to her anymore.

"This isn't faith, not really. Just. Giving you the chance I refused to before," Buffy tells her. Faith just stays silent though, so Buffy turns to her. "This isn't forgiveness," she says, trying to make that clear. "And this isn't pity. This is just a chance. You helped us; figured you earned as much."

"Do you get sentimental after every time you save the world?" Faith responds. Almost a joke. Almost.

Buffy smirks, turning around so she's facing her. Faith's not sure if she likes the change in position though. Her back is up against the wall and it feels almost like being trapped. But she stands her ground, looking at her lighter counterpart.

"Least there are no flowers involved," Buffy responds, the smirk still lingering on her lips. Faith cocks an eyebrow, deciding to tease her rather then, hell, finish this conversation. Whatever it was. It was getting too… just too something.

"Was that a hint? I can give you a nice bouquet with a little card next time. Something that reads, 'Sorry for being such an asshole', or whatever. I can ever hire a singing messenger, that's what get's ya off, B."

Buffy rolls her eyes, but she's smiling a bit. "You're kind of an idiot," she tells her. Faith just shrugs, a hint of a smirk still playing on her lips. Buffy laughs a little; once, softly, before turning around. "Come on, let's get everyone back on board so we can get to someplace with a bed."

"I'm for that," Faith agrees, and suddenly her muscles decides to remind her how damn _sore_ she is. Hell… yeah, a bed? That sounds fucking fabulous right about now.

When they all piled back into the bus, Faith was surprised when Buffy slid herself into the seat next to her. Faith didn't say anything and neither did Buffy. They just kind of left it like it was, so completely _done _with talking that it didn't matter enough to start again. It was maybe three or more hours until they got to LA, and Buffy did end up nodding off during the way. Faith didn't even notice until she felt her slip onto her, her head resting on her shoulder.

That hurt rips through her again, and she does everything she can to just not think about it. She trains her eyes out the window, the darkness settled in and the bright lights of the city on the horizon. She tries to ignore everything, all of it. All the feelings and the longing and the, hell, the sadness. Loneliness, maybe.

But it's kind of hard to ignore something when the cause of it is sleeping on your shoulder.

**TBC…**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

Pulling into Wolfram & Hart was a mind fuck and a half.

It ain't like Faith didn't know Angel was now working for them – that news traveled fast. More like it didn't actually sink in until she saw him come down the stairs from his office to greet them, big boss on campus, while the whole gang stood in the middle of… hell. Really. Last time she was here she was being contracted to kill him, and now he runs the joint. Though by the looks of it, he's still trying to get used to it himself.

Buffy was all kinds of awkward when she woke up and realized she had been sleeping_ on_ Faith, but Faith just brushed it off and let it go. She didn't want to talk extensively about it, or at all. It happened and it's not like it fuckin' meant anything. Not to Buffy. But it was… alright, it was hell. But it was the nice kind of hell. The one that makes you feel good until you realize it's some twisted torture technique. There's gotta be a dimension of hell like that. She had to hand it to the Powers That Be and their sense of humor.

"Buffy," Angel says, coming down to meet them. He looks like he's about to ask her how she's been, but that'd be a stupid question. He just looks at all the beaten troops behind her and says, "Our medical center can have a look at all of you before you turn in for the night. It's—where _is_ it?" Angel asks, looking to the green demon, Lorne, to his right. Yup, he still ain't used to this place.

"Two floors down, near the Restoration room," Lorne replies. "Don't worry, Angel-cakes, I'll take care of this." He turns to the group, putting his hands up and motioning for them to follow him, "Anyone who needs fixing up, follow me please. I'll give you the grand tour on the way."

Most everyone followed Lorne as he took them away, but Faith stayed behind with Buffy. She was good. Sore as all hell and back again, but alive. Functioning. She smirks a bit though at Angel, "Angel-cakes? Cute pet name."

"Faith… nice to see you didn't die," Angel responds. It's dry, but Faith can tell he means it by the small smile.

"You know me. Surviving."

"You have… rooms, here?" Buffy asks, looking around the building in either awe or fear. Faith couldn't tell. Nor could she blame her. "For all of us?"

"Yeah, didn't find that out until yesterday," Angel says, that confused look back on his face. He scratches the back of his neck. "This place is—you know, they have a room that when you go in it the doors change so you can't find your way back? Was lost in there for about an hour. Still have no idea what it's for." He shakes his head, but continues, "Yeah, we have a couple. Looking at the size of your group I'd say we have enough, but some might have to share. I think they were for hiding out clients; there was a ton of mystical barriers around them. Fred only finally found the blip on her radar and decided to check it out. Fully furnished. Nothing real fancy but, you know, it's a bed."

Buffy nods, stifling a yawn. "Sorry," she apologizes. "I'm just worn out. Long day. Hell of a long day."

"Well let me show you where they are," Angel responds, turning to walk up the stairs. They all followed, one by one, each and every one of them still wary of the place, but once they got into bed? Nothing else mattered but sleeping.

Faith did end up getting her own room. Some of the potentials—no, slayers now—shared, and Willow and Kennedy shared, of course. Man, Faith didn't know how good sleeping could feel until that night. She was out like a light and slept like a fuckin' brick and waking up in the morning actually felt _good._ She's woken up to impending doom for so long that for just a moment to wake up to something somewhat normal was refreshing and desperately needed.

There was a knock on her door after she climbed out of bed. She yawned, rubbing her eyes a bit with the back of her hands. Shit, no. She shouldn't have jinxed it. It's too early for doom.

When she opened it, Buffy seemed to have lost her train of thought completely. She blinks for a minute, her eyes sweeping over her form. "Faith, I believe you have heard the phrase 'leave some to the imagination,' right? Well right now, I think that would be appropriate."

Faith looks down at herself, confused for a minute. Oh. Jeez, what a prude. She did have clothes on. Underwear and bra definitely constituted clothes, especially in her book. She looks back up at her, an eyebrow cocked, "Is there some imagining going on now that I don't know about?"

Faith couldn't be sure, but she thinks Buffy just flushed a little. But she's pushed out of the way as Buffy invites herself into her room, and Buffy doesn't give her a chance to figure out if what she saw was real or a figment of her imagination. Faith just blinks in her half awake state and closes the door behind her. "That's so _not_ what I meant," Buffy replies, firm.

But Faith can't help but notice how she didn't deny it either. God, she must really be half asleep for her to even think that—no. Yeah, she's just tired. But it still lets the predator in her come out to play for a bit. She leans against the wall, smirking a bit as she crosses her arms over her chest to accentuate her breasts. She takes note that Buffy makes every effort not to notice.

Well, this was… not new, exactly. More like a flashback to when she was sixteen. A flashback to when she did everything in her power to get Buffy to notice her like that and Buffy did everything in hers to _not._ "So what's up?" Faith asks.

"I… got food," Buffy says, seeming to stumble over her words for a minute. She holds up the bag in her hand, and Faith's eyes light up. Shit, she was starving. She makes a grab for the bag, but Buffy holds it away from her. "Clothes, then food."

"Buffy, I'm not _naked,"_ Faith protests.

"Close enough."

Faith just rolls her eyes, mocking 'close enough' silently as she walks over to her clothes she left laying out from the night before. None of them had any changes. She unhooks her bra with a flick of her fingers and it falls to the floor as she grabs her shirt. If she has to wear these clothes twice, she's not gonna wear her undergarments with them. Just seemed a bit gross. Then again, wearing grimy clothes twice kinda did too. There was no winning, really.

"Jesus. Faith. This is what bathrooms are for," Buffy says, shielding her eyes from her with her hand. "I swear. There's something wrong with you."

"Probably," Faith replies, sliding the shirt over her head. When she takes off her panties, Buffy makes some sort of noise that Faith can't tell if it's frustration or something else. But hell. She wanted her to get dressed, and she's not exactly the shy type. After she pulls on her pants she sits down on the bed and holds out her hands, "Gimme."

"_Please,"_ Buffy corrects, but hands it over anyway. "And it isn't all for you, so don't scarf it all down, like you do."

"Right, yeah," Faith says, dismissing her and pulling out boxes of Chinese food. Thank god. She dives in to the Kung Pao as Buffy starts to take some out of the bag for her. They eat in silence for a little while, until Faith gets the urge to be cocky, or maybe annoying, and says, "So what? This your idea of a date, B? Knockin' on my door when I'm half dressed and bringing good food?" She smirks.

"You're intolerable," Buffy tells her, but she looks amused, despite it. She holds out her hand, "Pass the Lo Mein." Faith hands it to her, the smirk still lingering a bit on her features. Buffy looks up at her, then narrows her eyes a bit before snapping her chopsticks together in her face.

"Stop looking like that. Your face will get stuck that way."

"Yes, mother," Faith replies dryly, and wipes the smirk on her face and turns it into a look of mock seriousness. Buffy snorts a bit into her noodles, and it makes Faith laugh.

But the laughter soon turned into awkward silence. It was just… it was just too weird. Trying to be normal with Buffy, when everything was so very not fuckin' normal. Buffy coughs a little awkwardly and Faith immerses herself back in her food. There stretch of silence probably seems longer than it actually is, but when Buffy talks, Faith isn't sure if she preferred it over the quiet.

"We do this… don't we?"

"Either this or tryin' to kill each other," Faith responds, making a point not to look at the blonde. She used the chopsticks to fiddle with her noodles in her bowl.

"But… pretending isn't the healthiest thing either." Faith just shrugs, not really wanting to have this conversation. But apparently neither does Buffy. "We should talk," she goes on. "But… not now."

"Whatever you want," Faith mumbles, just because it is, isn't it? Whatever Buffy wants. She's not bitter about it; she knows she's part to blame for making it that way. "So what? We go back to pretending now?"

Buffy shrugs, a little smile etched on her face. "Like you said, it's better than killing each other."

"Word," Faith responds, holding up her chopsticks with a smirk. Buffy rolls her eyes at her response but clicks her chopsticks to hers. Acceptance. For now.

"So… guess what I got?" Buffy asks, her eyes twinkling a bit. Faith looks at her expectantly, and then Buffy pulls a credit card out of her purse, waving it around.

"You stealin' people's plastic now, B? Didn't think you had it in ya."

Buffy makes a face, "I didn't steal it, moron. It's Angel's. So we can get clothes. _Unlimited funds."_ she stresses, the grin on her face widening. Those words make Faith's eyes light up as well. "You want to go shopping?" Buffy says lightly, but the excitement is clear in her voice.

"Shit, don't gotta ask me twice," Faith responds with a grin. Man, it'll be nice to have some clothes that don't… ick. These are kind of grimy. Going out in public in them ain't high on her list of priorities, but hell. She needs to at least wear something out of this… _establishment._ Pfft.

Shopping with Buffy was actually almost fun, in that little girly way. Not that Faith was one to really be girly, but new clothes always put a smile on her face. It was kind of funny, almost, shopping with her too. Just cause they have such a radical difference in clothes.

"You look like a slut," Buffy tells her when she steps out of the dressing room, a hint of disapproval in her voice.

Faith smirks, turning herself around to look at her backside in the mirror. "So yes then?"

"Yeah, sure, if you want a big neon sign over your head that reads 'I'm easy'," Buffy responds, clicking her tongue in annoyance as the store clerk is so obviously just appreciating her presence.

"Mission accomplished then," Faith retorts, but it's light. She might not appreciate being called easy, but there is a lot of truth in that statement. So the hell with it. She likes dressing this way.

"Jesus. Take a picture," Buffy snaps at the store clerk. The girl widens her eyes at Buffy's rudeness and scutters off. Faith turns to her.

"What's up _your _ass? The girl was just looking."

"Rather not stand here watching you get ogled, it's so tactless," Buffy responds, clearly annoyed with something. "I mean, she has a job to do. This isn't pay-per-view."

"Whatever," Faith responds, turning back to the mirror and fixing her hair. Yeah, she looked hot. She can still see Buffy's annoyed reflection though. "So what did you get? Something that's not pastel I hope."

"Pastels aren't a bad thing, Faith," Buffy retorts, almost chiding her now. "I _am _an adult now. So are you, if you've forgotten. You're not a teenager anymore." Her eyes sweep her form, taking her in. "And you're definitely not sixteen."

"Come on B, don't be a stick in the mud. It ain't like I'm gonna be wearing this as every day shit. Just. You know. When I gotta go out to pick up. H&H and all that good stuff, y'know."

"Charming," Buffy says dryly. She picks at her own nails for a moment, debating. Then she asks, "Doesn't that ever get old for you? 'Picking up'?" she uses very annoying finger quotes to prove her point. Faith just rolls her eyes. "I mean, don't you ever want something… more?"

Faith stops fixing her hair for a moment to look at Buffy's reflection through the mirror. Yeah, of course she did. All she fuckin' thought about when she was around—shit. But it ain't like she's the happy ending type of girl. Not in the fairytale sense, anyway. Faith just shrugs, blowing it off. "You know me; get some, get gone. Ain't not point trying for anything else."

"Yeah, I do know you, which is why I think that's a load of bullcrap," Buffy says. Faith bites the inside of her cheek lightly and turns around to face her.

"What do you want me to say?" she asks, a bit defensive. "Yeah, it'd be nice, alright? But it ain't like… shit, B. You know how it is. Secret lives and all that. Putting people in danger. There ain't no room for love in our world." Besides, ain't no one ever gonna love her. Not the real her. But she doesn't say that outloud, she's not looking to have a pity party here.

"I refuse to believe that."

Faith scoffs lightly a little; amused even though it's not funny. She leans against the changing room door, arms crossed over her chest. "Well then. Guess I'll be the pessimist and you can be the optimist. Like always."

Buffy smiles a little, amused a bit too. "Probably safer. The world might fall out of balance if we actually agreed with each other."

That makes Faith laugh a little, softly. She looks down at the ground, the smile on her face becoming wider before she looks up. Buffy's eyes lock with hers and Faith can swear she sees something behind them, but she was never a good reader of people. But she can feel this like… _heat._ It startled them both for a moment, and they both stepped back from each other, smiles gone.

It was like how it was. Only for a moment. The Slayer connection. It had dulled so much since they grew apart, since the world went to shit and back. There was always that light hum, hidden under the surface, but the heat? Man, she hasn't felt that in years.

"Okay, awkward," Buffy says, blinking a bit. "That was—"

"Agreed."

Buffy looks halfway between being annoyed at being interrupted and thankful that she did. "Yeah. So no more of that then. Whatever that was."

"Probably a good idea," Faith says, even though she has no idea what that was or how it even came to be again after all those years.

Maybe it meant something, maybe it didn't. Maybe it was just a fluke; confusion of the senses. But it was there, if only for a second. It made her feel good, but freaked her out all the same. Seemed to do the same to Buffy, who has decided that the new shirt she's looking at was absolutely _fascinating._ It sucked, honestly. Having it feel weird. But it had too, just because of, hell, everything. And yeah, maybe it meant nothing at all.

But Faith couldn't help but hope that it did.

**TBC…**


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Talking wasn't high on their list of priorities, mainly because both of them weren't looking forward to it, but two days later that's what they did. Talked. Sorta. It was late at night and Faith was about to turn in when she heard a familiar knock on her door. Knowing who it was before she even opened it, she unconsciously fixed her hair and readjusted her bra. Not that she was trying to look pretty for—alright, fine, she was. But it was just a habit. They die hard and… all of that. Whatever.

When she opened the door, something was tossed in her direction. Faith catches it out a reflex, then looks down. "Wanna go slaying?" Buffy asks, a little smile on her face. The grin spreads across Faith's.

"Like I'd turn that down." She plays with the stake between her fingers a bit before asking as she grabs her coat. "We teaching the noobs?"

"Nah, most of them still need to rest. Recuperate. Just thought. You know. Just us oldies. It'd give us a chance to…" Buffy trails off, shrugging.

"Do what we gotta do," Faith finishes as she wraps her leather jacket around her. Buffy nods.

Talking while slaying though had to be one the better decisions both of them made. If things got too heated they could kicks some ass and dust some demons without taking it out on each other. There's probably some therapy technique like that, but probably not as violent.

You probably don't breathe in undead fungus after either.

Buffy sneezes after she dusts a vamp, making a face. "Ugh, that went right up my nose."

Faith chuckles a bit as Buffy sneezes again. She leans against a headstone, arms crossed over her chest. "You know, that might be what causes the H&H, if you think about it. Like a drug. Up your nose. All… fuckin' up your system. Maybe it's like slayer cocaine." She laughs a bit.

"I told you I don't _get _H&H," Buffy retorts, rubbing her nose for good measure. She blinks a bit, then turns to Faith.

"You're full of shit," Faith tells her, smirking. Buffy just ignores her comment, stalking off in the other direction. "I know you get the itch, girlfriend. We all do."

"Come on, there's gotta be more down this way," Buffy says, still ignoring her.

Faith gets off the headstone, the smirk still lingering on her face. They walk together for a bit in silence, the eerily unsettling vibe of the graveyard washing over them. Yeah, there was definitely more around here. But it's faint, so they know they aren't going to come across one any time soon. "So," Buffy starts, the awkwardness back in her voice. "We should…"

"Yeah," Faith agrees, just wanting to get it over with. She plays with the stake in her hands as they walk across the grass. "So how we gonna have this play out? I say sorry, you punch me a couple times, and that's that then?"

"Because _that's _healthy," Buffy deadpans, but she smirks a bit before shrugging. She sighs. "I don't know. Guess I already punched you out more than enough times, so we can skip that part."

"Good, cause last time I swear you almost dislocated my jaw."

"You had it coming."

"Always do," Faith responds, but it's a sigh. Defeat. Maybe sadness. Fuck it. "Look, I am… y'know. Sorry about, fuck, everything. Taking out my teenage angst on you like it was your fault." She doesn't look at her when she says it, but that's okay because Buffy isn't looking at her either. They just walk side by side through the maze of headstones and trees.

"Part of it was my fault," Buffy says quietly, and it makes Faith's face color in confusion and annoyance.

"Don't do that, B. Fuckin' hate when you do that."

"What?"

"Do the whole self-pity bullshit. Ain't none of that on you, and frankly you don't make it any better when you pretend it is. You can't carry around everything on your shoulders. And my shit ain't yours to deal with," Faith tells her. It makes Buffy stop, turning to look at her. Faith stops too, arms crossed over her chest. She can feel the annoyance radiating off of Buffy. Or maybe it was her own, just reversed cause of the whole connection. It's too complicated to think about extensively, that's for sure.

"I'm not doing anything like that," Buffy retorts. Her own arms fold across her chest, defensive as well. "You're only half of the story, Faith. Now do you wanna stop acting like a brat, shut up, and hear mine? Or do you just wanna throw down since apparently that's all we're good at doing?"

"Name calling is real mature, Buffy."

"Well if you listened for one damn second then maybe I wouldn't have to," Buffy snaps. Faith falls silent though, cocking an eyebrow in her direction as she waits expectantly. "It was just that…" Buffy starts, then sighs. She turns and starts walking again, and Faith follows. "When you came to town you were like… a sister. Almost. We had this connection and it was so amazing and, well, you know. But I got – and I swear if you repeat this to anyone I will personally remove your larynx – I got… jealous. I guess. You were… untamed, I guess would be the word. Everyone loved you and everyone wanted to be you. It pissed me off and I just kind of… shut you out. I made everyone shut you out."

"Think I made everyone shut me out when I switched teams," Faith said softly, but it was only so she could blame herself. Part of her knows what Buffy's saying is true, and that it makes sense. Not that she was gonna blame Buffy for what happened, but maybe if… maybe if it didn't happen like that she wouldn't have felt that she needed to go to someone else for some kind of love and acceptance, even if he was evil.

"Before that," Buffy says, just as softly. The grass crunches beneath their feet as they walk, then finally she says, "So. I'm sorry. About doing that to you."

"It ain't nothin' now," Faith responds, then pulls her arms around herself as she knows it's her turn. Vulnerable. Fuck. She ain't the kind of person that just—this ain't her thing. Sharing. Feelings. Verbal ones, anyway. "But, y'know, I was jealous of you too."

"I know."

Faith looks over at Buffy, pursing her lips together a little. "Family. Friends. The whole nine yards. Think that's why it was always about you. Maybe. Just… trying to destroy the one thing you had that I didn't. Make you feel what it was like. I was just… fuck. An uncontrollable fuckin' time bomb. Didn't know which way I supposed to go, but it seemed I always ended up back at you. It was always about you."

"Because of the jealousy?"

"Something like that," Faith says, knowing full well it isn't just about that. It was always about Buffy because Buffy was her other half, whether she liked it or not. Whether they ever became a whole or were doomed to wander the earth without ever knowing that connection.

"But there's more." It's a soft statement; she already knows. Faith stops, letting out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. She leans against another headstone, the marble cold underneath her palms as she presses against it.

"Ain't there always, B? With us. It's always more than what… fuck, what it's supposed to be."

Buffy shrugs a little, looking down as she moves to lean on the headstone next to her. There's silence for a moment. Just the sound of the wind blowing through the trees, making the branches creak and the leaves shudder. "It's different with us," she agrees, finally.

"Hundreds, hell, maybe thousands of slayers awakening across the world. So why is it that I can still only feel you like this?" Faith asks her. She doesn't look at her though.

"I don't know," Buffy says. "Probably has to do with destiny, or some prophecy, or another end of the world scenario."

"Figures," Faith scoffs lightly. "Leave it to my feelings to end the freaking world." Another scoff, and the last word is softer, barely even audible. "Again."

"And what feelings are those?" Buffy asks lightly, and Faith can tell she's looking at her now. She can feel her eyes on her, but she doesn't look back.

"Y'know," Faith says softly, meaning more than what she's saying. But she switches it quickly, tries to cover it up to, "Just. The Slayer connection. Whatever."

"You were wrong, you know," Buffy says suddenly, and it makes Faith look over at her. Buffy's eyes meet hers. "About the thing you said before, back in Sunnydale. Us not getting along because we weren't supposed to exist with each other. If that were true, we'd have a whole mess of girls fighting all the time now. Besides, Kendra, before you… yeah, we didn't get along, but there was no… connection. No feeling. No dreams."

"Great then," Faith says with a light sarcasm. "Glad to know we're the only fucked up ones then."

Buffy laughs lightly. "Maybe we are a bit fucked up," she agrees. She nudges Faith a little with her elbow, softly, just getting her attention. "But maybe we should just… stop. The past happened; it was screwed up, yeah, but we can't keep—you know, making everything more of a hell when there's already enough hell all around us. There's just no more time to fight and be childish about it. We got a whole slew of new slayers that need guidance from us and maybe we should, I don't know. Kind of set some sort of example."

"Be adults, you mean?" Faith says, but it's lightly teasing. Buffy smiles a bit, then nods.

"Yeah. We have to grow up sometime."

But Faith isn't listening anymore. She puts a hand on Buffy's arm, stilling her as a smile creeps across her face. "You feel that?" she asks, excitement in her voice.

Buffy stops, a smile forming over her own face. Her eyes twinkle. "Come on," she says, before taking off through the maze of graves, Faith hot on her heels.

This time it was almost like the past again; the perfectly timed banter and fluidity of their movements. Their last slay was two individuals working together. This? Maybe there was something different now. It was more like one slayer in two bodies. Defense and offense; they switched so rapidly but so easily, each giving the other a turn without even having to speak to synchronize their movements. When the stakes came down to deliver that final blow, it was as if there was something that pulled them to do it together, the dust scattering into the wind before their eyes, leaving them facing each other.

"Don't breathe in," Faith jokes.

"Why not? If you're little theory proves right, then I'm already high," Buffy says, smirking. She tucks the stake into her back pocket, dusting off her hands.

"You feelin' it then?" Faith asks, curiosity and wonder peaked in her voice as she takes in Buffy's form. Poised; on edge. Her muscles ripped and ready. A shiver, though Buffy will probably say it's cause of the wind. Oh yeah, she's feeling it.

"I'm not adding to your little perverted fantasies," Buffy tells her, but she's smirking. She hits Faith lightly in the stomach as she starts walking. "Come on."

"Hey, who said you were in my fantasies?" Faith retorts as she follows behind her. "Conceited a bit, aren't we?"

Buffy snorts, "Let's not kid ourselves, _F_." It's said lightly, teasing, but it makes Faith wonder how much she really knows about how she feels about it. About her. About everything. But if she does know, it also makes Faith wonder why the hell she isn't running screaming or kicking her ass into next Sunday. But that little window of opportunity makes her try to stick her head through. Or maybe up her ass, depending on how this goes.

"So you wanna hit a bar with me? Feed the hungries a bit?" Faith asks. It's light, but all she can think about in her head is how much it just sounds like she just asked her out on a fuckin' _date._ "We can find someone else to take care of that other H there too," she adds as an afterthought, just trying to make it not sound like she was asking her out.

"I don't pick up like you do," Buffy tells her as they walk out of the graveyard and down the street. "And frankly? Rather not see you do it either. Would like to keep my food down."

"Ha, ha," Faith says dryly. But then she shrugs. "Fine, just us then. No beefsticks or rug munchers. Whatever. One H down is better than none."

Buffy shifts her eyes a bit to look over at her. "You do play both sides then?" she asks, curious. But she shakes her head a little, as if deciding she doesn't want to get into that whole thing, and says instead, "Nevermind. Yeah, food sounds good."

It wasn't until an hour later, when they sat at the bar with enough food in front of them that could probably feed a small army, that that conversation is revisited. Faith didn't know why it really mattered much to Buffy, or maybe she was just trying to… hell, bond, or some weird crap like that. "So," Buffy starts, waving a french fry about absentmindedly. "This girl thing. When'd that start?"

_When I met you. _But Faith doesn't say that, thank god, she just shrugs instead. "Y'know. Prison. Girl-lovin' only up in there. Unless you wanna boink the guards and – ew. Ain't desperate enough for all that. Though one bastard did try to rape me," Faith laughs a bit at that while Buffy looks horrified. "Hey," she says noticing her look. "Come on, like it would have ever gone down like that. Mother fucker got his face busted and his shoulder dislocated. Spent awhile in solitary for that, but it was worth it."

"Jesus," Buffy says, taking that in. Her eyes widen and she pops the fry into her mouth. But she lets it go, changing the conversation back. Well, sort of back. Now they were on the whole relationship conversation that they sort of had back in the dressing room. "So have you ever actually had a connection with someone that was… meaningful?"

"As in, lasting for more than a night?" Faith asks, picking up her jack and coke and taking a sip as she peered over at her.

"Yeah."

"No. Well, I don't know. In prison there was this girl. We fucked on a pretty regular basis, but maybe that's cause you can't exactly get some and get gone in that joint. Wouldn't call it a relationship though."

"So what would you call it? Did you like her?" Buffy pries, though she does it in a way that makes her seem like she's being casual about it. She's not looking at her, just saying words in between poppin' french fries in her mouth. Faith knits her eyebrows together.

"Seriously. What's with the sudden curiosity?"

Buffy lets out a dramatic sigh, rolling her eyes for effect. "I'm just trying to, I don't know, have some sort of normal conversation with you. One that doesn't involve screaming or angst. Is that a crime now?"

"No. It's just weird," Faith says honestly, picking at the food on her plate. She was starting to get full.

"Fine. Then we'll talk about something else," Buffy decides, but Faith doesn't want to. That other H was sticking its' head in where it doesn't belong, especially with Buffy around.

"Nah, you know what? We should probably head back," Faith says, making a point to look out towards the door instead of at Buffy.

"Oh," Buffy says, surprised. Maybe disappointed? But Faith couldn't put her finger on it. "Yeah, that's fine. Tomorrow I guess we should start figuring out where we're all going to go too. We can't stay here forever."

"Don't think I'd want to," Faith responds as she slaps some money on the counter to pay for the bill. "That place gives me the creeps."

"The heeby-jeebies," Buffy agrees. She starts to pull some money out to pay for her part, but Faith waves it off.

"I got it, B."

"And where did_ you_ get money?"

"Same place you did: Angel. Come on, let's get out of here. That guy over there looks like he's five seconds from comin' over and trying to get you in the sack," Faith tells her, standing up. Buffy looks over to where she was motioning too.

"Oh, ew," she says, giggling. It makes Faith crack a smirk, but then the guy starts moving towards them. Faith rolls her eyes.

"I got this," she says, and puts an arm around Buffy's waist. Buffy looks surprised for a minute, but Faith is looking over at the guy, cocking an eyebrow and giving him a 'don't you dare' look. He stops in his tracks, almost gawking at the two of them.

Buffy laughs, "Oh, my hero."

"You know me," Faith jokes, leading her out the door. Maybe her arm lingered around her a little longer than it should, but Buffy didn't push her off. It was all just a joke anyway. Shits and giggles. Fucking around with some guy just cause they could.

But when her arm does fall back to her side, she realizes how much she missed it. How much she could still almost feel it. The tingles; the heat that comes with it. The everything.

Even if it did mean nothing at all.

**TBC…**


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: So yeah, wrote up through chapter 10 last night (go me!) so I figured I should start posting them more often now. Ha. Also, the story rating is now changed to M. Uh, hm. Yeah, about about my OC? She's not an OC. I suck at making originals, so this is kind of a crossover. So if you guess the fandom, go you! Haha. Thanks to everyone that's been reviewing/favoriting/alerting thus far! Its been so long since I've written for this fandom, so I'm glad I'm doing an okay job :)  
_**

**CHAPTER FIVE**

Taking care of that other H shouldn't have been this fuckin' difficult.

She was in her room. Buffy had gone to hers, the lights were out, her clothes were off, and she was trying to take care of business. The heat was dominating her abdomen, the flashes of the slay and the bar were filling her mind and fuck, she just needed to get off. Her fingers slipped over herself almost tauntingly slow, making her gasp into the darkness of the room and arc her hips into her hand.

She started imagining all the little scenarios that could have happened that night, if only something like them could ever happen. The slay done, the heat and the passion being fueled between the two of them so much that they could feel it crawling all over them. Eyes locked and bodies intertwined and somehow it suddenly jumped to Buffy being bent over stark fuckin' nude over a gravestone with Faith's fingers buried in her tight little pussy.

It wasn't like this was anything new. No, she's fucked herself plenty of times thinking about Buffy. Even when she hated her, she wanted to fuck her just to destroy her, own her in a way. It's always been about Buffy whether it was about love or hate. Her whole fucking universe revolved around that woman, and frankly?

…It was a bit pathetic.

Faith lets out a frustrated sigh and stops herself halfway through; her breathing labored and her chest heaving from anger. She turns her face to look at the wall; the wall that separates her and Buffy's room and she locks her jaw. This was so fucking pathetic.

Was this all she was going to be? All she was gonna do? Just waste her life away pining over some woman who can barely even stand to be in the same room with her?

Alright, well, apparently she can stand it now. They had their little truce and fuckin'… whatever. But that still doesn't change the fact that Buffy would have to be clinically psychotic to ever want Faith the way she so desperately wants her too. Needs her too. She's all she wants and all that she's never going to get and instead of trying to move on she just continues to sink herself just a little deeper. She always pushes her fuckin' _fingers _in just a bit deeper and pants out her name before she releases, letting the sadness wash over her as much as the damn orgasm does.

Faith was never one to be emotional; at least not in front of people. She puts on a hard face and makes any kind of weakness turn to anger instead because she refuses to ever let anyone know how fuckin' broken she really is. But that doesn't mean that when she's alone that she doesn't cry. Cause she does. All the damn time.

She hates it, hates all of it. And as she feels the tears start to well up in her eyes she sits up quickly, maybe trying to jolt herself out of it. Snap some damn sense into herself. She takes a breath, trying to just _not think,_ before she rises from the bed and grabs her clothes. Fuck all of this.

It just has to stop.

Her clothes are on in a rush and she's out the door in all the same. She just needs to get away. Hell, find someone to take her away. Not in that stupid knight in shining armor crap way, but just take her out of her head. Hell, take_ Buffy _out of her head. Fuck her to make her forget. It always works, just the problem is that once their gone and out the door it all comes back again. Every single miserable part of it.

Faith hates feeling sorry for herself, it makes her seem like a spoiled brat who's crying cause they can't get the shiny toy they want. But Buffy was more than just a toy. She was more than just some prize to be owned. She was… fuck. Everything. All of it. With a nice little fuckin' bow on top.

Picking up was easy. It always is. She knows she was born lucky; to look the way she does. If sex came in human form she'd be pretty damn close to how it looks. The hair, the lips, the breasts, the dangerous air and cocky attitude and fuck, yeah, it's just easy. Almost too damn easy.

She wasn't picky tonight, she doesn't think she could handle being that way cause the longer it takes for her to find someone the longer she keeps thinking about Buffy and how she wishes she was trying to pick up her. The first person who showed an interest was the one who ended up in her bed; Faith on top in some sweaty, raw, sexual haze. She lets her body take over and says adios to the thinking cause thinking never leads to anywhere good.

But it's almost like animals. When you let your body take over it all becomes instinctual it turns into something that dances with the line between human and primal. Rough, hard, bordering on almost abusive with the biting and the scratching and just, hell, _owning._ Owning another human being just because you can, if only for a moment. It's loud and it's passionate and it's so fucking sexy that yeah, for a second she forgets about Buffy. And that was the point, wasn't it?

Hours. Hours and fuckin' hours of nothing but sex. It was strange that she found someone with enough stamina to rival her own, but she ate it up because it tasted so fuckin' good. But eventually the stamina wore out with both of them, and as she collapsed on the bed, eyes closed and breathing labored, her guest sat up a little, a little smirk lingering.

"That was fun," the girl states, in this almost airy way as she made light of something that was fuckin'… Faith wouldn't say incredible, that might be giving it too much credit, but it was pretty damn close to amazing, regardless.

Faith doesn't say anything; she just rolls over and stares at the ceiling, wiping the hair out of her face. Her face is flushed and she can still feel the mist of sweat on her body. She takes a deep breath. _Man._ She needed that.

The girl peers down at her, almost inquisitively. She's a bit out of breath herself, but it's not as pronounced. Almost as if she's learned to quiet herself on command. "Did you get what you needed?" she asks her, like she knows more than what she's letting on. Faith turns her head to look at her.

"Yeah. Thanks for the orgasms," she says, though maybe it's hinted with a bit of sarcasm because somehow, what she just said, turned on her defense mechanism. This was… weird. There was something off about this girl.

"You're welcome," she replies with a little smile; that light, airy tone back again. Maybe she was a bit crazy. Go figure for Faith to pick the most fucked up broad in the whole damn bar. What was her name again? She doesn't remember her even saying…

"I don't think I got your name," Faith says, sitting up as she finds her clothes. She picks up the girls shirt first though and throws it at her. She catches it easily.

"That's because I never told you," she replies, like it should have been obvious, as she slides the shirt over her head. Her blonde hair spills down around her shoulders and she looks at her.

Though, on a completely unrelated note: go figure she'd be fucking a blonde too. What is it, some kind of weakness she has? Fuckin' stupid.

But it was weird, the girl not saying her name, even when she _asked._ She half expected her to get pissed off at her, like most women. Faith could never remember names; they just weren't her strong suit. "You gonna tell me?" Faith asks, the defense kicking in again. Something wasn't right.

"No," she replies as she pulls on her jeans. "But I don't think I want to know yours either."

"What is this? Some kind of kinky fetish you have? Fuckin' strangers and never wanting to know who they are?" She could be down with that, honestly. But it still didn't seem like that was it either.

"No. I just don't trust you," the girl tells her simply. Then she cocks her head to the side in thought a bit. "And I don't think I care what your name is."

"And you're making me trust you even less than I already do, which usually means that you're about to fuck me over and we're gonna have to throw down," Faith says as she grabs her clothes and starts putting them back on, keeping one eye on her the whole time.

"You don't have anything I want," the girl says flatly, like that made some kind of fucking sense. But then Faith thinks about it a bit. What was she, some kind of thief? It was the only thing that even made it into the realm of slightly logical with all this… fuck. Craziness. No name, no trust, no whatever. But _hey_, she does have nice things. Fucking hella nice things after being able to go spree with Angel's plastic. She might be offended that this girl, if she is a thief, doesn't even find anything of hers worth stealing.

Bitch.

But then the girl doesn't go for the door, she goes for the window. Faith stares at her like she's got five fuckin' heads and one of them is starting to yodel. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Leaving."

"Out the window? Are you fucking insane?"

The girl looks at her, blinking a few times with this blank eerie sort of stare. "It's only three stories up," she says, completely ignoring the insane comment and saying it in a way that made Faith feel… weird. This girl really was a bit off.

"There's no fire escape."

"And that's what makes it fun," she says with a little smile… and then she's just fucking _gone._ Faith blinks and stands up, making her way over to the window just in time to see her scaling down the drainpipe and her feet hitting the ground before she takes off into the darkness.

Man, she needs to start fucking normal people.

The next morning she woke up to the sight of Buffy… standing over her. Faith jerks up straight in bed out of automatic reaction, clutching the covers to her chest. "Fuck, shit, god damnit B, what the hell are you doing??" Faith mumbles in her sleepy and startled haze. She rubs the sleep out of her eyes so she can see clearly. Damn, way to freak a bitch out. Just kinda creepy when you wake up and someone's standing over you. It's like in the horror movies before some hot bitch gets her heart cut out of her chest and shown to her.

That better not be on Buffy's agenda this morning.

"Nice mouth," Buffy deadpans, a hint of annoyance seeping into her voice. She walks away from the bed and over to the window to yank open the curtains. Light floods into the room and Faith makes some kind of whiny, aggravated noise before throwing the covers back over her head.

What the fuck. She's still freaking tired.

"Get up, it's almost noon and we have to train some of the newbies," Buffy tells her flatly. Faith doesn't have to be looking at her to know that she has her hands on her hips. Faith has no idea what's up with the attitude this morning, but she's really not digging it. Didn't they call truce? Does she have to wave a white flag now? God damn.

"I'm tired," Faith complains, just cause it's early and she's grumpy. She makes a face and wipes the fallen strands of brunette hair off her face. Damnit, she wants to go back to bed. She lies back down, flopping back and staring up the ceiling.

"Yeah, well, me too," Buffy says, irritated. "You kept me up last night. Really considerate, by the way."

Faith blinks as this heavy weight makes its way down her throat and lays camp in her abdomen. She turns her head to look at Buffy, who had her arms crossed over her chest as she looks down at her disapprovingly. "You heard me?" Faith asks, though clearly that much was obvious.

"What I heard was more like animals during mating season," Buffy says flatly, her annoyance with the situation written all over her face. Faith sits up though, still making sure to keep the covers over her as she does so since she hasn't bothered to put clothes back on last night. "This is not a whore house, Faith," Buffy continues in her little high-and-mighty disapproving voice that just works at Faith's last nerve. Her own grumpiness wasn't helping the situation much either and it makes her snap back,

"Whatever, you can stand there and act like you're better than me because you like to pretend you don't feel it like I do, but I'm willing to bet you got yourself off to the sounds of my little _mating session_ last night, Twinkie."

She should have expected what was coming next, and part of her damn well knows she deserved it since that was kind of over the line, but when Buffy's fist connected with her jaw it still knocked her back, disoriented her for a moment, until her instincts took over and the next thing she knew she had Buffy pinned against the far wall, forearm over her throat and her breathing ragged from rage.

Shit.

But Buffy doesn't make a move, she just stands there, letting Faith hold her since she still couldn't bring herself to press down and apply pressure enough to threaten her. Their eyes connect and Buffy taunts her, "Press down. I dare you." It almost makes Faith think that she just let her make that move just to see what would come after it.

"Fuck you."

It's said softly, almost a hissing sound through her teeth as they continue to stare at each other, neither moving but both calculating reactive moves if the other one dares to begin their dance. Faith notices Buffy's breathing change, just slightly. Not as defensive anymore but more… anticipation.

It wasn't like Faith studied people, or ever cared to. But if there was one thing she did take in from her slayer training it was how to spot signs of weakness and changes in strategy. Not that Faith knew how to make any of them turn in her favor when she's up against Buffy though. Everything with her is always just… running on emotions. Pure feeling.

"You used to not hesitate," Buffy says, but its softer. There's still a hint of a challenge behind her words but it was mostly masked by her own curiosity.

"You used to not wait for me to make a move," Faith counters in a voice equally as soft. Buffy just stares hard into her eyes for a moment, until Faith notices them become a bit softer as she lets them drop slowly, looking over her darker counterpart.

"You need to get dressed," Buffy states flatly, but it's also hinted in this odd tone that Faith can't place. But that snaps her out of it and she steps away from Buffy, backing up a few steps. She still doesn't move for her clothes though; she just looks at her.

"Truce over?" Faith asks, trying to not make the disappointment and sadness seep out through her words. She tries to make it comes out strong, but she doesn't think she succeeded very well.

Buffy blinks, tearing her eyes away from Faith's nude body to look up at her face. "No," she says simply. She grabs Faith's tank top off of the bedside table and throws it at her, and the brunette catches it easily. "But I still don't think I know how to start my day unless I get to clock you in the jaw."

That makes Faith crack a smirk as she slides her shirt over her head. "You still got a mean right hook." That makes Buffy smirk as well before she turns towards the door. But then she stops as her hand touches the doorknob, and Faith can see her take a breath. She turns back around and Faith watches her out of her peripheral vision, surprised to notice that Buffy was very much _looking_ at her as she pulls on her panties.

"Keep looking at me like that and we're never gonna leave this room," Faith says, that little hint of cocky arrogance in her voice that usually makes her want to slap herself silly after she uses it. Man, she needs to really start using that brain to mouth filter, she's gonna get herself into trouble.

"What? I'm not—! Faith!" Buffy exclaims, all flustered and irritated as she narrows her eyes and stomps her foot a little to make her point. "That wasn't what I was—! Just get dressed!" she snaps and then in a flash she's out the door, it slamming behind her.

Whoops.

Yeah, she really needs to start controlling that better. But Buffy _was _looking, she didn't imagine that. And maybe it was just cause she's one big giant prude and nudity either offends or intrigues her, but still. She was looking. At Faith. All… naked. At all her naked little parts.

And even though she just pissed Buffy off by stating that fact out loud, she can't help the smile that's on her face. On some level, hell, it doesn't matter which one, but on some level Buffy couldn't take her eyes off of her.

And she'll take that… no matter what the reasons were.

**TBC…**

**_A/N #2: Ya'll need to tell me when my dumb ass forget to take out the italics code that I use for posting on LJ lol. So if you ever see "i" and "/i" before words, let me know. this site takes out the brackets, and sometimes I forget to change it before I post it in here. It's fixed now._  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

Faith should have known better.

Last night they didn't go slaying with the noobs so they could all rest and recuperate, and yet today they were training them? If Faith took two seconds to think about that, she might not have been surprised when she walked into the training room to find it empty except for Buffy. But she didn't think, and so she was surprised. Or more like confused. She was still only half awake, after all. The fact that she can even form a fragment of a thought right now should really be considered some sort of accomplishment.

"Whoa. Am I early to class for once?" Faith asks, surprised, as she walks into the large rectangular room. Her sneakers squeaking slightly on the polished wood, reminding her of her high school gym in a way. Minus the fat, underachieving asshole of a teacher that she had. Faith figures she might be the underachieving asshole now, never doin' the normal thing cause of destiny and some other crap. But hey, at least she isn't fat. She'll take the points on that one.

Buffy looks up at her as she sweeps her blonde hair back into a ponytail. She leaves a few stray stands to frame her face, and Faith tries like hell not the stare because she's pretty sure that finding Buffy mesmerizing when she's only fixing her hair is probably a bit ridiculous. "I tried to rally together the troops, but there were only a handful able bodied enough to train. Guess we're going to have to wait a couple more days."

Faith took a step back towards the door hopefully, "So crashin' out is back on the agenda?"

"No, get in here," Buffy orders in that special little way of hers that makes Faith feel like she has no other option. Damnit, she shouldn't have asked; making a run for it probably would have yielded better results. But when given the option to run when it has anything to do with Buffy, she tends to find herself running towards her instead of away from her. Faith's beginning to think she has some sort of masochistic complex going on.

Faith sighs a bit and unzips her hoodie as she watches Buffy stretch. "So what? Are we training the few that can?" Really though, Faith doesn't know why she asks questions she already knows the answer to. Maybe she's just trying to prolong it, put it off, _something._ She really didn't feel like getting all sweaty; fuckin' down and dirty with Buffy this morning.

Well, in the way that—

"No," Buffy says as she stretches her arm across her chest, interrupting Faith's thoughts for a moment. Her eyes scan down Buffy's body, taking in every curve of every muscle. She's a bit like a panther, if Faith needed to pick an animal to describe her. Strong; agile. Beautiful. Buffy doesn't seem to notice her moment of appreciation though as she stretches her arm back behind her head. "Thought now would be a good time for us to map out a curriculum."

"A what now?" Faith asks after she's taken off her hoodie, eyebrow cocked as she takes her own rubber band off her wrist to tie her hair back off of her neck. "What is this? Slayers: A History?"

"No, Giles and Andrew are working on that," Buffy says seriously, which just makes Faith cock her eyebrow even further because she was fucking _joking. _"But we should go over what we're going to teach them, and when."

"We teach them how to kick undead ass," Faith says, like that in its self should have been plain as fuckin' day. "The end."

"Faith."

"B, this is stupid. You do what you do and I'll just go along with it, like always," Faith says, crossing her arms across her chest. She really didn't want to sit down and talk strategy. She was more of a doer than a planner. And yeah, maybe if she did think in terms of plans and strategies she'd come out on top more often. But does she look like she's got the patience for that? _Hell _No. It just is what it is.

"It's not stupid," Buffy said with a bit of a huff, rolling her neck back a little. Faith can hear a small crack before she shakes it out and steps back in a defensive stance. "We'll teach them blocking first. Be the offence; come at me."

"This is pointless; we already know how we spar together. We've tried to fuckin' kill each other; don't think we need the practice. Besides, the kids helped save the world. I think they can block fine."

"Fine isn't good enough, Faith," Buffy says seriously, and like she should have known that. "Come. At. Me."

But Faith doesn't want to just come at her. Not cause she doesn't like sparring with Buffy, but just cause of what it does to her. Being up close and personal with a sweaty out of breath Buffy does things to places she'd rather not admit, least of all to her. There's heat and there's passion and it gets to the point where it's either fight or fuck, and you can guess the one Faith tries to choose. So she just tries to play it off, act like it's stupid, fuckin' whatever she has to do to not get sucked into this hell hole of adrenaline and hormones.

"Nah, girlfriend. You have fun with... whatever. I'm just gonna—" Faith tries, stepping back with an amused look on her face and her hands up in surrender, just trying not to get herself in trouble by backing out. But Buffy was obviously having none of _that,_ because before she can even finish her sentence, Buffy launched herself at her.

Well, apparently Faith is on the defense now. Typical.

"Fuck. Damnit!" Faith swears after she manages _just barely_ to block Buffy's first punch. "B, seriously—"

"Come on, block me," Buffy taunts, and this time her punch did make it through Faiths' defenses, making her stumble back a couple steps. Faith rubs her jaw in annoyance and Buffy's smirking, looking like she enjoyed that a bit too much for just sparring. Great, cause this is really what she needed today.

"You don't give a shit about training. All you want to do is hit me this morning," Faith accuses, but this time she backs up just far enough to give herself room to deflect. She knows Buffy isn't going to stop until one of them is on the ground, and it ain't gonna be her. She's been on bottom for this bitch more times than she can count.

Buffy snorts a bit, "What gave you that idea?" But then she swings again. Faith's ready for it this time and blocks it cleanly, turning around in enough time to manage to get behind the blonde and slam her elbow between her shoulder blades. Buffy winces. "I said defensive!" she yells and she whips around to face her, rolling her back from the pain.

"You mean let you keep hitting me and I can do nothing about it?" Faith says, her eyes fired up and her muscles ready for a fight now. Her fists are up, her left foot back and planted to keep her ground. "I don't think so."

But there's a twinkle in Buffy's eye from that, almost like a challenge. "Aw, does Faithy think she can play with the big girls now?" she taunts, a little smirk on her face. They start circling each other slowly, never once letting their eyes leave each other. Dancing; like they always had. Taunting; because it's the only thing they know how to do.

"Please. You play with fire, you're about to get burned, sweetheart."

"Is that so?"

"Come at me and find out."

Buffy smirks, this sly little grin spreading across her face. She cocks her head and licks her bottom lip slightly before asking, her voice much lower than should ever be allowed, "And what if I said I wanted to get burned by you?" Her voice is dripping of sex and something much sweeter, using a tactic Faith didn't see coming from a mile off.

It makes Faith blink in shock from that unexpected sentence, and that hesitation was all Buffy needed. Once she managed to get Faith's hands where she needed them, one leg sweep was all it took to get the younger slayer flat on her back with Buffy pinning her down with a smirk of victory etched on her features. "And the winner is…" Buffy taunts, still keeping her grip locked on the girl's wrists. Her touch was like fire to the younger woman.

"You cheated."

"You should have never told me you had a weakness for women," Buffy says with a smirk as she gets up and holds out her hand to Faith. She laughs a bit, "Come on, let's go again."

Faith makes a sound of annoyance at being beaten but begrudgingly takes Buffy's hand and lets her help her up. "Never said it was a weakness," Faith retorts, her ego bruised more than her body. She stretches her arm across her chest to work out the kink she feels as she takes a step back. That really wasn't fair game right there.

"Maybe not, but I just proved it," Buffy says, and it annoys Faith that she apparently finds it _amusing._ She cocks her head to the side, and proceeds to fuck with her mental state all over again, "Or is it that you just have a weakness for me?"

Faith's brain stops, and as she tries to figure out something to say to that that doesn't sound like a defensive retort or a straight out lie, she lets her defenses down again. Her hesitation costs her, again, and within minutes she's flat against her back on the floor for the second time. "Stop _doing_ that!" Faith yells, aggravated. Buffy just chuckles as she looks down at her.

"It's not my fault you're brain goes X rated in a matter of three seconds. You're just like a guy."

"Fuck off, will you? And get off of me while you're at it," Faith snaps in irritation, but Buffy doesn't move. She continues to pin her down, just screwing with her because apparently it's become her fun new game.

"What's the matter? Too close for comfort?" Buffy taunts. Faith swears she must have some evil in her because all of a sudden she's pressed, yeah, way too fuckin' close for comfort. The fact that Buffy thinks this is just amusing, innocent fun annoys her even more, and she's close to snapping. This isn't fuckin' funny anymore. "Thought you liked having boobs in your face."

"What did I say about getting burned?" Faith asks her, her own anger from the situation turning very much into adrenaline and hormones, just as she feared in the first place. But it's too late now, and Buffy's just asking for it. Faith's cocky arrogance arises and she smirks, lifting her head up enough to brush by Buffy's ear, "You couldn't handle playing with me, B. You'd be screaming before you even realized you'd touched the surface…" If Buffy wasn't going to play fair, then neither was she. Her voice was low and slick like molasses and she could practically feel the heat radiating off of Buffy and the lust dripping from her own words.

She also noticed when her little sentence temporarily stunned the older slayer, which was all Faith needed. Buffy was the one on her back so quickly it was almost like a blur, and the Buffy struggles underneath her as she screams, "Damnit! Faith!" It's Faith's turn to chuckle now. _Who's the bitch now?_

"Told you."

"Get off of me!"

"So what? You can torture me again? No thanks, think I'd rather be the one on top right now." Faith's hands were pinning Buffy's upper arms against the hard wood floor, her torso applying just enough weight to keep her there as long as she doesn't get distracted again. She can see Buffy getting all worked up at her anger from being bested, and her eyes flash.

"Messing with you constitutes as torture now?" Buffy asks, giving up on struggling since she knew she wasn't going to get anywhere unless she threw Faith off again. But Faith was prepared for it this time. Sort of. "Or do you really just want to fuck everything?"

"Eat me."

"You'd probably like that too much."

"Y'know, I probably would," Faith says, almost a snarl. She's fed up with this stupid game. Buffy isn't gonna make her break. She cracks a smirk and taunts back, "But seeing as you're the one who keeps bringing it up, I'm beginning to wonder a bit about you." Buffy's eyes go wide, and apparently Faith hit a sore spot.

A very sore spot.

"Fuck you, I bet you screw yourself at night thinking about me!" Buffy yells suddenly, and gets up enough adrenaline from her fury to knock Faith off of her, but only for a moment. Her hands connect with Faith's chest but Faith grabs her wrists, pinning her down heavily, her face inches from hers. "Slut," Buffy spits out at her. "You've always been obsessed with me."

"Oh go _fuck yourself,_ you cocky bitch. Unlike you I get some when I need it, I wouldn't waste my time thinking about you."

_Liar._

They're both breathing heavily, the passion from the anger humming across their skin like torture, and as they glare at each other they start to feel something that neither of them were expecting to feel in that moment. There's silence. Long silence that seems to stretch on forever and taunt both of them. Faith can feel her grip slacking, but Buffy doesn't move. She just lies there, seemingly letting Faith own her for a second. What was going on? _This is the part you feared, Faith. _The part when the line blurs and everything doesn't make sense. When things just run on feeling and fuck knows that never leads to anywhere good.

"Go to hell," Buffy says softly, her voice catching a bit in her throat as Faith's hands seem to have a mind of their own and slide down Buffy's forearms softly, almost agonizingly slow. Buffy seems almost scared, yet almost breathless with anticipation. Terrified but letting this play out. Whatever _this_ was.

It's all a haze in Faith's head. The screaming, the fighting, the position they were in how the air in the room seemed to be heavy with the stench of lust. If she was thinking straight she would have gotten up, left. Fuck. Run the hell away. This doesn't make sense, any of it. They rip each other to bits and suddenly there's… fuck. What was this? Some kind of a spark. Some kind of… fuck, hell? Yeah, she was definitely in some kind of hell, but _god_ did it make her feel powerful.

"Only if you're the one to take me there," Faith retorts, her voice soft as she looks down at the woman beneath her. Her heart is going so fast she's afraid it's going to burst out of her chest. It gets worse when Buffy sits up then, only a little, but enough for Faith to feel her breath on her lips. Her senses are practically screaming, the slayer connection is going haywire and it was almost like the world around them fell away. Nothing mattered but them.

"Why is it always about me?" Buffy asks quietly, curiously, and Faith notices a slight shake in her voice. But if she's scared she isn't backing down. If anything, she's getting closer. Faith looks down at Buffy's lips for a second, wishing she had the nerve to just take what was so close to her. But Buffy wasn't just some girl; she wasn't just some normal fucking person. She was… everything.

Faith was terrified to screw that up, so she doesn't answer her. She can barely even breathe right now with Buffy this close to her and all she can feel is the hum, everywhere, all over her skin. She knows they're too close, knows that the second one of them moves an inch their lips will be touching, and it's overwhelming. It's one of those perfect, fucked up moments that you have no idea if you should run away from or dive in head first.

But the moment didn't last long.

"Hey guys? What do you want me to do about the—_HELLO."_ Kennedy stops in surprise as she sees the state of the two girls on the floor. Faith tears her eyes off of Buffy to look over in surprise at their unexpected witness, which gives Buffy enough of a chance to push Faith off of her… hard. Faith lands on the floor so suddenly that the breath gets knocked out of her from being basically _thrown._ She coughs once, annoyance written all over her face.

Well, that was one option. Fuck. She sighs and lies back on the floor, letting her head bang against the wood slightly for good measure. It just felt appropriate.

"Kennedy. Hi. We. Uh. Hi," Buffy starts, trying to get herself off of the floor. She brushes herself off. "Sparring," she explains, but Kennedy has an eyebrow cocked at her. Buffy coughs, just trying to let the moment get as far away from them as possible and changes the subject, "What do you want me to do about what?"

Kennedy narrows her eyes at her, flicks them over to Faith who's getting herself off the ground, then back to land on Buffy. But she doesn't say anything for a moment, and thankfully not about what she just maybe witnessed. "Willow's been channeling through the Scythe, trying to find some of the other Slayers who awoke in the general area. Do you want us to…?"

"How many did you find?" Buffy asks, back to business now. Faith wonders idly how she just does that. Switches everything off like that. Fuck knows she can't.

"Only a few. We can get them here within the day."

Buffy nods, her tongue pressed against her teeth as she thinks. "Alright, yeah. But. Hey. Make sure you bring Giles, he hates to miss out on doing 'The Chosen One' speech." She smirks a little, and so does Kennedy. One big joke. Ha, ha.

Faith rolls her eyes. She hated jokes right now.

"Alright. You two… well, have fun," she says in this way that makes it sound so completely _dirty_, and Buffy's eyes go wide. She's attempting to say something, sputtering, is more like it, until Kennedy's out the door. Finally she stops attempting to speak and just sets her jaw.

Silence.

"We were sparring," Buffy says evenly, after a moment, not even bothering to turn around to face Faith as she addresses her. Faith just raises an eyebrow as she leans against the wall, arms crossed over her chest. Defensive.

"Yeah. Got that much."

"That was it."

"Well what else would you call it?" Faith snaps back, angry that everything just fell apart when it was so close to perfect. Angry that Buffy wouldn't even look at her. Angry that she didn't just kiss her when she had the chance.

"We just. We…" Buffy stops, taking a breath. She still doesn't turn around; she's staring out the window. "We get that way. Us. We yell and we, I don't know. Work stuff out. So. Let's just leave it."

"Yeah, cause that was really healthy," Faith mutters under her breath.

"Look I'm just _saying,"_ Buffy defends, finally turning around to look at her. "That's happened a lot. Okay? Not in awhile, but it used to happen all the time. It's just how we get when we spar. It just is what it is and there's no reason to throw a parade over it."

Faith scoffs. What the hell was Buffy doing? Trying to be the bigger person? She really didn't like the tone of voice she was using, like she was trying to explain something to a child. Explain that the world just sucks and there's nothing anyone can do about it, that sort of thing. And yeah, okay, maybe things used to get heated when they were younger, but they never almost kissed.

Does it just get worse with age?

"It's just the connection we have," Buffy finishes, like that explained everything. Whatever.

"Bit fucked up that our connection wants us to…" Make out. But Faith didn't finish her sentence. She just shakes her head, annoyed, and gets herself up off the wall, crossing over to grab her hoodie. "Alright B, no parade. Gotcha."

"Faith."

But Faith doesn't turn around as she leaves, not wanting to look at her right now. "It's all good. Got places to be," Faith avoids. Then she's gone, away from all the craziness and the headaches and the confusion.

That's just how they _got?_ What kind of ridiculous bullshit was _that?_ Yeah, Buffy just admitted there was something. Sure, yay, what-the-fuck-ever. But… damnit. Watching her just try to rationalize it by spewing the first load of crap that came to her mind fucking… hurt. Maybe because she isn't sure if it's true or not. What if that_ is_ just how they got? What it has nothing to do with anything, and Faith's feelings for Buffy are completely separate from that entire fuckery?

One thing's for sure though: next time Buffy asks her to spar, she's gonna tell her to stick it up her ass. She didn't need this crap. Everything hurt enough as it is.

**TBC…**


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Angst! Drama! *cackles all evil-like* Anyway, thanks again for everyone who's been reviewing. Reviews are my crack. Hope everyone that isn't reviewing is enjoying the story as well :) In truth, ya'll keep making me a bit nervous after each great review I get cause I haven't written for this fandom in so long that I keep second guessing myself as the story goes on. Haha. I seriously just scrapped chapters 11 & 12 and started over on them because I decided they sucked. Er... lol.**_

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

"You made out with my sister?"

Faith looks over at Dawn, who's flopped down on the brick wall next to her. She didn't seem upset, merely curious. Faith blinks and takes a drag off her cigarette, willing herself not to just _freak the fuck out _at that statement. Buffy is going to go on a murderous rampage if she hears that rumor. More than likely she'll be the target too, not Kennedy who was now at the top of Faith's personal hit list.

"What the fuck? No."

"That's what everyone's saying," Dawn says as she takes out her own cigarette and places it between her lips. She motions for the lighter. Faith sighs and holds it out, flicking it, making it spark and flame. After Dawn get's hers lit, Faith shakes the lighter, letting it close with a click before pocketing it. She still won't look at her.

Great, _that's what everyone's been saying._ Fucking awesome.

"Ain't what happened. We were just sparring," she replies, looking out at the sunset. How she had gotten through the whole day without hearing a single thing about this rumor before now though, she has no idea. Maybe everyone else in this joint _is _intimidated by her. And honestly, Faith finds it mildly irritating that Dawn seems to be immune to that.

Dawn snorts, "Yeah, cause sparring turns into a rumor that you guys made out_ so_ easily." Faith takes another drag of her cigarette and ignores her. She doesn't want to talk about this. Especially not with her. "Seriously."

"Seriously, nothing, okay? We were sparring. I had her pinned and maybe it looked like something else but it just wasn't," Faith says, just wanting her to drop it. Why the hell did Dawn even care? And by care she means care about what happened, and not care as in like… coming over to attempt to kick her ass for violating her family. Because that she would have expected. This new found "adult Dawn" is freaking her out a bit.

"I'm not stupid, you know," Dawn snaps at her, and _that_ finally makes Faith look at her. Alright, that wasn't so adult. "I was around for everything. I've seen how you guys are. So don't act like I'm some stupid kid."

"And how are we, exactly?" Faith retorts, eyes narrowing. Hell, she'd like to have a little insight on that herself. Maybe it'd answer all the lingering questions she has in the back of her head. Like why Buffy almost let her kiss her. Almost.

"You're completely in love with her, Faith. I mean seriously, _wake up."_

Faith stares at her, not believing she really just said that to her. But she doesn't deny it, there's really no point. And it sure as hell didn't help her any either, because she already knew that. She takes another drag of her cigarette before flicking it into the street, watching the sparks skitter across the pavement. "If you're gonna start giving me advice on how to get into your sister's pants I'm gonna throw myself into oncoming traffic," she says flatly.

"What? Ew. No," Dawn says, making a face. She shudders a little, probably just trying to get out the very horrible image Faith just put in her head. She takes a drag of her cigarette like she's trying to get out the bad taste by overpowering it with another. When she exhales she says, "I was just saying I'm not stupid. So if you kissed her…"

"I didn't kiss her, Dawn, okay? Shit. We were sparring, I'm not lying to you," Faith says, frustrated. She slides off the wall. Yeah, she's done with this messed up interaction right about now. She had been trying like hell not to think about what almost happened all day, and this wasn't helping any. She starts to walk away when she hears:

"Faith?"

Faith sighs and turns around, looking back at Dawn who was still perched on the wall. Dawn gives her a small, sympathetic smile. "Just don't be stupid about it," she tells her softly.

Man, Faith hated sympathy.

"I'm not gonna do anything about it," Faith tells her evenly, but honestly. She never has and she never will. It's just some kind of problem that she has, apparently. It was right there in front of her this morning and she couldn't just take it, what's wrong with her? Regardless, that's not the only problem she's got at the moment, because seriously? _Everyone's _been saying that? Buffy is going to hit the freaking roof. Probably tear the damn thing off and throw it at her.

So. Best not be around for that one, then.

Instead of heading back into Wolfram & Hart, she heads down the street to the bar she went to last night. Hell, if she's gonna come back to getting screamed at, she might as well be drunk for it. Least then when Buffy hits her it won't hurt so bad. Least not until the morning. But hey, maybe the hangover will overpower that pain. Can't hurt to try, right?

She downs three jack and cokes and turns away five drunk men before she even begins to notice her surroundings. It was a Monday night so there weren't that many people; just what seemed like a few regulars and some college kids having it off cause they had nothing better to do with their lives. She's about to say fuck it and leave, go out and do some slaying or something, until she notices a woman sitting at the other end of the bar, looking bored.

Oh, it _can't _be…

Faith gets up, taking her drink with her and makes her way over to the blonde. Sliding in the seat next to her she says, "What is this, your pick up place?"

The girl she very much slept with last night turns to her, that bored look still on her face. "No," she replies, like she didn't even understand the question. "I failed the apples and oranges test, so I'm here to socialize." She sounds like she's reading off of a billboard, and Faith snorts a bit as the woman fiddles with the straw in her little girly looking concoction that she seems to not even have an interest in.

She has no idea what the apples and oranges test is, but she'll just pass that one by. "Yeah, cause sitting here by yourself is really making that one work out well."

"I'm not by myself," the woman says simply, in that eerie little way that she does. She cocks her head slightly as she turns away from her, seemingly people watching, "I'm with you."

This girl really ain't all there upstairs.

"Yeah, whatever," Faith says, taking a sip of her drink. She finishes it with one last pull of her lips and as the ice clinks against the bottom of the glass, she puts it back down on the bar. She wasn't much for seeing her old fuck dates, but she had an unsettling feeling of loneliness in the pit of her stomach. She clicks her tongue a bit to get the girls attention, and when she turns back to her she asks, "You gonna tell me your name tonight, or are you gonna pull that woman of mystery crap again?"

"Today I'm Alice," she replies, a little smile on her face. Faith can't help but think that,_ hey, even if the bitch is a bit crazy, she's still beautiful, especially when she smiles. _Anyone with eyes can see that. She was a tiny little thing, even though she stood a good two inches taller than her. Tiny in every way but very strong underneath; like she was trained for something that Faith is pretty sure she wants to know nothing about.

"Right. Okay. _Alice,"_ Faith mocks, because she's sure that's not her name, but whatever. Least she has something to call her now. She waves to the bartender to get them two more drinks, and after they're delivered she slides one over to Alice, asking, "So what's your deal?"

"I'm a book keeper," Alice tells her, but then makes a face like she isn't sure if that's right. She picks up her drink and takes a sip as she seemed to think about that one, then she nods, sure of it. Faith cocks an eyebrow. Part of her wishes the chick's just drunk, then she'd have a reason to be all fucking weird, but Faith has a feeling that's just how she is.

"Doubt that," Faith says, but shrugs. "But whatever." She ain't gonna dwell on it since she ain't gonna tell her what she does either. Not that dusting the undead is really what she does for a living, though. But man, if she had a dollar for every vamp she slayed she'd… alright, she wouldn't be rich, but at least she wouldn't have had to resort to stealing when she was younger. Because really, there's only so many times you can eat people's leftovers that they threw away before you go insane.

Alice blinks a little, then looks at her curiously. "Are we going to have sex again? Is that why you came over?"

Faith laughs a little just because, hell, you had to laugh at that. The girl might not have tact, but she was direct, and Faith kind of liked that. It saves time by not playing all the stupid games every woman tries to pull. She smirks, "Why? You up for some fun tonight?" She wasn't particularly horny, what with all the craziness going on back at the ranch, but who was she to pass up sex with a good looking woman? It might take her mind off of things, at least. Sex was always good for that.

Alice shrugs, very nonchalantly, then agrees, "It was fun. I liked it." She smiles then, almost giddy at the prospect. "We can do it again."

Faith's maybe still a bit wary of her mental state but hey, the girl was amusing her. She needed that after the whole confusion that was Buffy and their little spar slash almost make out session. So yeah, she took her back to her room. And no, maybe it wasn't the smartest idea, but hell, she just needed to forget everything. Alice could help her with that. Just fall into her and fuck for hours and just _forget._

The problem though, was that Faith failed to see the _large, gaping hole_ in her plan that was Buffy waiting for her outside her bedroom door.

Alice seemed to have some kind of aversion to clothes, because in the elevator she had already stripped off her shirt and had her tongue down Faith's throat. Not that Faith was opposed to that, or even gave a fuck. Quite the opposite, actually. She laughed at her craziness, almost reveled in it as they were attached at the mouth all the way back to her room. All the potentials had been hanging out downstairs so she knew none of them would catch a glimpse of what or who she was doing, and especially whose jeans she now had her hand down as they attempted to make it to her bedroom door. She didn't think about anything besides how she was about to feel within the hour, didn't pay attention to anything around her, and thus didn't notice Buffy staring at her, eyes wide, mouth open, at her very slutty display in the hallway, until:

"You've got to be _kidding_ me."

That made Faith's heart leap into her throat as she turned around, taking her hand out of Alice's jeans quickly. But she doesn't even have time to think of some lame ass excuse, or whatever it was that she was about to have come pouring out of her mouth and having her look like even more of an idiot, because Buffy's screaming now.

"We have kids in this building, Faith! What the hell do you think you're doing, bringing your whores up here and being all… _whorish _in the hallway?!"

"HEY!" Faith exclaims, the only thing she can find herself to say. Fuck, Buffy can be pissed all she wants, but she doesn't have to be a rude bitch, either. Faith might never have been one to explicitly care about other people's feelings, but Buffy used to be, and calling Alice a whore didn't exactly constitute as welcome wagon behavior. Not that she expected such, but the least she could have done is wait to scream at her until after her guest leaves.

"I don't like her," Alice tells Faith simply, though seems to not care much either way. She states it just how it is: a fact. She then turns to inform Buffy, like she didn't hear her the first time, "I don't like you."

"Great, I don't like you either," Buffy snaps at her, seemingly dismissing her from the conversation. She turns back to Faith, hands waving in the air erratically until they fall to her hips, "What is the matter with you? First you go around and tell people you _kissed _me, and now you've decide to run around and act like a five dollar hooker? Side note: you're past your hormonal teenage bullshit excuse, so don't feed me that."

"Go ram a stake up there, B. What I do ain't your business," Faith snaps back angrily, grabbing Alice's hand. She opens the door to her bedroom and lets her in, before she turns back to Buffy, who's standing there seething. "Oh. And F-Y-fucking-I: I didn't tell anybody shit. You want someone to blame? Go kick Kennedy's ass." She slams the door and locks it before Buffy can say another word, and leans against it heavily, just trying to take a breath.

That irrational, childish anger was boiling to the surface. She tried to suppress it, she did. She tried to just let everything go, just let it be what it was – just some stupid fight, but she couldn't. Buffy always had to make her out to be the bad guy, didn't she? Never mind that she was just screaming at her in the middle of the hallway like Wife Swap gone bad, the only thing that mattered was that Faith was the fuck up, right? Faith the whore, Faith the slut. Whatever. Faith, the one who ruins everything.

Well fuck_ that._

Alice didn't ask, which she appreciated. She also took her angry I-Hate-Buffy sex like a fuckin' champion, and Faith made sure they screwed for hours and was as loud as possible just to spite the bitch. She wanted her to hear every little dirty moment and imagine everything she was doing in there with vivid detail. She wanted to hurt her, bad. Not that she thinks her sex will actually hurt Buffy, but it sure as hell is pissing her off at least. That much was obvious each time Buffy punched the wall that separated their two rooms.

She wanted to piss her off so badly with it in fact that after Alice left (though the window, again. What's wrong with her?), she continued to masturbate with the most overdramatic noises in the world. The worst part about it was that Buffy knew she was alone now, and knew she was doing it just to piss her off. So she wasn't that surprised when finally there was banging on her door.

"Will you _shut up?!"_ Buffy shrieks, her lack of sleep infuriating her even more. It makes Faith smirk. Yeah, they were fighting like childish brats, but Buffy started it. Well, alright, maybe she started it, but Buffy didn't have to be rude about it. She wouldn't call her a whore for bringing home some guy in the middle of the night, but maybe because she just doesn't have the balls to.

Or maybe because Buffy isn't a slut like she is.

And maybe she should have stopped there; she proved her point, after all. But instead of stopping she replies with a very loud and long moan. Her fingers teased her clit but she could barely feel it anyway because all she was focused on was pissing off Buffy. It was always fuckin' about Buffy.

The banging on her door continues. "Faith, I swear to god if you make me come in there I will _kick your ass!"_ Buffy screams, probably waking up the entire floor. But their juvenile feud apparently knows no bounds anymore. Buffy was pissed, Faith was pissed, and when they were pissed the only thing that mattered was the two of them and how much further they could take it until one of them snaps.

But Faith continues, not going to back down from this. All the orgasms weren't helping her anger; if anything, they were fueling it. So when the door splinters and comes crashing in, Faith is expecting it. She's standing just in time to block the first punch that heads in her direction.

Everything was a blur; the whole day was a blur. Everything seemed to go too fast and get too heated and too fucked up so quickly that Faith didn't even have a moment and stop to think what was really going on. But this was how it was with them. Everything was good, fine, fuckin' dandy one minute and the next the whole world comes crashing down and they're trading punches, though usually Faith is dressed for this part.

It was messed up; it was really fucking messed up. All of it. How did they get here? Yesterday they were out slaying; coming to some sort of truce and then the rug gets ripped out from underneath them. They're kidding themselves, right? They can never be friends. Not really. Because this is what happens. They really are like two children. They fight over the stupidest shit just to hear themselves argue. Just to best one another; come out on top. They have this competition complex with each other, and no matter how much they try to fix it… it's always gonna be screwed up. This is always going to end up happening.

And Faith is always going to wake up the next morning, littered with bruises and guilt, and blame the whole thing on herself.

This all got screwed up way too fast.

They fought for what seemed like hours, but probably was only twenty minutes. It only ended when Buffy finally got in one good blow that sent her skidding across her bed to hit the wall. Buffy stood there, angry, breathless, looking on the verge of fucking tears as she waits for Faith to get up. But she doesn't, she's just done with this. She sits up, wincing at the pain in her back and knows there's gonna be a mark later.

"Fine, you win," Faith gasps out as she rubs the offended area. _Fuck _that was painful.

Buffy doesn't say anything, but Faith doesn't think she can. She's just staring at her, looking like she's on the verge of breaking. She finally finds it in her to sit on the edge of the bed, her breathing still labored. "No…" she tells her softly, her voice shaking a little from either the sadness or the rage. "I didn't."

And as if the screwed up situation couldn't even get any more messed up… Buffy ended up sleeping in her bed that night. They didn't say anything after that last exchange of words; both of them were just too exhausted and upset to even begin to form a thought. So when Buffy curled up at the bottom of Faith's bed, just staring at the wall, Faith let her. And when she realized Buffy was asleep, she took a pillow and a blanket, and decided to sleep on the floor so she wouldn't accidentally kick her in the middle of the night.

It didn't make sense. Any of it. How they can just go back and forth, be so perfect and then fuck everything up. How they just fought fiercely for what seemed like forever and then just let everything go for the night for the sake of sleep. Maybe for the sake of sanity. Neither of them really knew.

If there ever was a need for Slayer therapy… now would be it.

**TBC…**


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Just so you guys are aware, this story will have explicit sexual material in future chapters. I figured I would warn you for those who frown on that sort of thing, so you can just stop reading before it gets to that point. ****Also, pretty damn sure I've lost the point of the story I was trying to remake and kinda spun off into an entirely different world. Oh well xD Once again, thanks for the reviews! (EDIT, cause I forgot...) Oh and I know some of you are expressing interest in Alice. She was never supposed to be more than just someone Faith plays with for a couple nights, and she's also the product of a crossover, so I didn't want to give too much away without actually *making* it a crossover, because that's not the point of this story. But for those of you interested, the characters real name is Parker, and she's from TNT's show Leverage.  
**_

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

When Faith wakes up, she has the vague sense that someone is staring at her. She yawns, rolling over, and mumbles sleepily, "Stop staring at my tits." Not even realizing who in actuality was staring at her while she was naked and… on the floor? Why the hell was she on the floor? Did she drink _that_ much last… night…?

The realization of what went on hit her like a truck in the face going fuckin' seventy five and yeah, she was definitely awake now. But she didn't move, didn't even open her eyes. She just froze. She could still feel Buffy looking down at her from where she sat on her bed. _What is she looking at, exactly?_ She's vaguely aware that she slept on her back, pretty sprawled out, and the blanket she brought on the floor? Not exactly covering much. Or fuckin' anything. Christ.

She's not embarrassed. Not really. Naked's naked and whatever. But she did feel a bit vulnerable suddenly.

She expected Buffy to get angry at her stupid little comment, tell her she's being an arrogant asshole and that she needs to get up so they can finish their brawl, but all Buffy said was, "Sorry. I wasn't. You're just…" cue Faith opening her eyes at her soft voice, the way she said it, sounded so much like she was going to tell her she was— "bruised," Buffy finishes, and Faith makes a face. Well, that figured. Buffy would never call her beautiful.

She doesn't even think she'd call herself beautiful in the morning though either, to be fair.

"Yeah, well," Faith says, her early morning voice coming out husky and scratchy as she tries to sit up. She winces though. Damn, one of her ribs was fractured. "That happens when you get your ass kicked," she mumbles, trying not to put too much pressure on that side. She finally looks over at Buffy, noticing that she wasn't up to par either. "You don't look too hot yourself," Faith tells her, noticing a large, angry bruise on the left side of her face.

"It'll heal."

"Yeah, I know that," Faith responds. Come tomorrow they won't have a mark on them. Slayer healing was good for something, at least. "So I don't know why you're getting' all emo on me as you look at the damage."

"I'm not," Buffy says quickly, lifting her legs up to fold them underneath her. "I just… was saying." But she's looking at her in almost… guilt? That couldn't be right. Faith needed to wake the hell up.

"Yeah, well, great then," Faith says as she gets up, not even caring anymore that Buffy has seen her naked more times in the last week than she ever had in her entire life. Her little vulnerable moment had passed, and now she just really needed to clean herself up. Buffy didn't seem to even care about the nakedness either, though probably because that was at the bottom of the list of their problems at the moment. "I'm gonna shower."

Buffy doesn't say anything, Faith can feel her eyes on her the entire time she makes her way into the bathroom. She closes the door behind her and sighs softly, turning to look at herself in the mirror. Oh, ouch. Bad idea. Now that she could see the damage, everything hurt a whole lot worse. She bites her tongue lightly as she turns on the water for the shower, trying not to think about last night, but it was the only thing that would allow itself into her brain.

She was surprised to find Buffy even there in the morning. After everything that happened, the last thing she expected was for Buffy to just sit there and stare at her come morning. Maybe a kick in the gut, the word "bitch" falling from her lips would be more along the lines of appropriate. But nothing is ever black and white with them anymore. Was it ever? Nothing made sense; this maybe least of all.

Faith steps under the hot spray and closes the shower curtain. The water beating on her didn't do anything for her soreness, but she felt dirty and she needed to fix that. She closes her eyes and runs her fingers though her long dark hair and just tries to relax, but that definitely didn't happen when she hears a knock on the bathroom door.

She didn't say anything, but it didn't matter because Buffy had already opened it. Faith hears it click behind her and can see the blurred outline of the woman through her clear, but intensely fuzzy shower curtain, and she asks in a tired, but cocky voice, "Miss seeing me naked already?" It was just one of those things she needed to say, was so automatic, but there wasn't enough effort behind her words.

Buffy lets the comment pass though, too tired to banter. "Look, can we just… forget yesterday ever happened? All of it?" Buffy asks in a soft voice as she leans against the sink. Faith bites on her tongue lightly and doesn't say anything for a long time.

The water was pounding on the base of the porcelain tub and the steam from the heat was getting thick in the air, making Faith's head a bit cloudy. Just forget it ever happened? They can't do that. Not that she wouldn't love to just make everything go the hell away, but you can't just keep pushing shit like that out of your head.

And it's never going to stop. Everything. All of it. It's just going to keep happening over and over again. They were like oil and water when they are together, and it just tears her apart inside because she loves a woman who she can never get along with. It's so bipolar. When they were good everything was perfect and when they were bad everything was hell in a fuckin' fruit basket.

And it was never, ever going to change.

"Faith?" Buffy asks, since she's been silent.

"Think I'm gonna go away for awhile, B," Faith says finally, her voice cracking a bit. She runs the shampoo through her hair and tries to even out her voice. "Y'know, just head out. Find more slayers maybe. Send them your way."

There's another long stretch of silence after that, and Faith can see Buffy through the curtain, sigh and lean her head back against the wall. "You don't have to leave."

"Yeah, I do," Faith says, trying not to let the sadness that was bubbling in the pit of her stomach force its way up her throat. She purses her lips and grabs the soap instead, just trying to focus on washing.

"Look, we fight, alright?" Buffy says suddenly, and it makes Faith knit her eyebrows together in confusion as to why Buffy seems gung-ho about trying to keep her here. She never missed a chance to throw her out the front door. "We fight and we tear each other to little pieces but it never lasts. Okay? It doesn't… it doesn't last because we're supposed to be together." That makes Faith freeze, and she holds her breath. But she lets it out in disappointment once Buffy continues, "We're supposed to be working together to kick evil's ass and help the next generation of Slayers become the most amazing force for good the world has ever seen."

Buffy was on a roll, on one of her little speeches but it didn't matter. Or maybe it did, but it still wasn't washing away the hurt and the pain and making her feel like all of this is really worth it. Like her sanity is worth it. "When did you get all pro-us?" Faith asks, maybe a little spitefully.

Buffy sighs, a bit in agitation. "Look, I'm not trying to be a martyr." Faith scoffs. "I know I have a bit of a complex, okay?" Buffy snaps, but it's light. "Whatever. But like you said, there are thousands of Slayers in the world now and for some reason I can only feel you. It's always been just you. So don't you think that means something? Don't you think that means we're supposed to be together, side by side, whatever, fighting the good fight? We're not kids anymore, Faith. We have to learn to put aside our issues and deal and just do what we're meant to do, as a team."

"So then what?" Faith asks sharply, throwing the soap down and turning to look at Buffy's outline through the curtain. "We just continue to ride this merry go round just cause the world needs us in the same room even if we can barely stand it? Is _that _it?"

"We're fine in the same room together as long as you stop bringing whores around," Buffy snaps in irritation at Faith's tone.

"Alice is not a whore!"

"Oh,_ Alice_ now, is it? Surprised you even got her name," Buffy retorts, but then stops, trying to be the bigger person, like always. "Stop. Wait. Just… forget it. We can't fight over this." But Faith has always hated Buffy's I'm-more-mature-than-you-are act, and she whips open the shower curtain to stare down at her.

"Why do you even care who I sleep with?!" she exclaims loudly.

But Buffy acts like she's assaulted by the sight of Faith naked and puts up her hands in front of her face. "Jesus, Faith!"

"Oh, _now_ you care? This morning you were eyeing me up for god knows how long."

"I wasn't eyeing up anything!" Buffy defends, still with her hands over her eyes. "But it's hard to not look at someone who's spread out on the floor _naked!"_ That makes Faith stop, and Buffy too apparently, after she realized how that sounded. They look at each other for a long time, Buffy's face turning a bit pink, before Faith closed the curtain again roughly.

"So you_ were_ looking."

"Yes, _fine._ I looked. Okay? Are you happy now? Jesus. That doesn't mean I'm gay, but you were just THERE," Buffy spits out in a defensive rush. Faith can see her cross her arms through the curtain. Her face is probably as bright as a tomato.

But it makes Faith smile a little to herself, despite how that revelation came about. She clicks her tongue a bit and smirks as she asks "Did you like it?"

"FAITH!"

Faith snorts a little, knowing she'd get that reaction. But she's serious a minute after as she washes the rest of her hair. "…You never answered my question. About why you care."

"Yeah, well, you never answered mine either," Buffy responds, still defensive. Faith looks confused.

"What question?"

"You…" Buffy starts, then sighs a little as she bites on her lower lip softly, as if wondering if she should even ask. "You never told me why it was always about me."

Faith freezes for a second, then runs her hands through her hair slowly as she tries to breathe a little more regularly. "Thought you already answered that question," she says slowly. "Because of destiny, or some other crap."

"That's why we feel each other. The connection. Whatever it is," Buffy tells her, and Faith watches her cross over to stand at the edge of the tub, leaning back against the wall softly. Faith catches Buffy's gaze as she looks at her through the little slit that the curtain didn't cover. "So tell me why everything else is always about me," she asks softly.

Faith is _not _going to answer that.

"Two minutes ago you were bitching cause you had to see me naked and now you're peeking through the curtain?" Faith avoids, cocking an eyebrow at the older slayer.

"You see this?" Buffy says, pointing two fingers back and forth at them at eye level. "This is me looking at your face. So answer my question."

"You just totally dismiss privacy, don't you?"

"Like you care," Buffy retorts. Then softer asks, "Just… answer me, please?"

But that frustrates Faith, and she picks up the loofa, turns around so her back is facing her and keeps washing her body. "Look, it doesn't even matter, so just fuckin' drop it. Seriously."

"Faith…"

"I mean it, B!" Faith exclaims, turning around to face her, her face etched in annoyance. Anger, really, though it just came out of freaking nowhere. She was feeling too exposed, and it had nothing to do with her being naked. "So just fuckin' drop it and stop staring at me or drop your fuckin' clothes and get in here, I don't give a fuck but just _shut up _about it and stop standing there playing twenty questions with me!"

Buffy blinks at that and Faith wants to slap herself in the face. Alright, that was not supposed to come out sounding like… that. "How did we get from you answering a question to me getting naked?" she asks, like Faith just said she wanted to recite the Bill of Rights.

"I don't know, I'm just fuckin' pissed," Faith spits out, throwing the loofa at the shower wall. Buffy raises her eyebrows.

"See, this is why things almost happen when we spar. You get angry and it makes you want to see me naked," Buffy says, but it's in amusement.

"Just get the fuck out of my bathroom, Buffy."

"Hey, I was just kidding…"

"Well ha, ha. Funny. Just get out," Faith snaps at her, taking the shower curtain and pulling it further to obstruct her view of her. Buffy sighs, but doesn't move.

"It was a joke."

"You're hilarious," Faith says sarcastically, but shakes her head and closes her eyes as she lets the stream of water hit her face. Fuck. This was ridiculous. "Just fuck off, okay?"

"HEY," Buffy says, ripping the curtain open to face her again, staring her in the eyes. "I wasn't trying to shit on you for it, I was just trying to make light of it. But it's the truth, isn't it?" she asks in an angry voice that has way too much cocky arrogance to be coming out of her mouth.

"Yeah," Faith spits out, taking a step towards her. "Fine. You want to take that win? Whatever. But you forget Princess; it takes two to tango." She licks her bottom lip, but her scowl of annoyance is still present. She scoffs a little as she gets in her face, "And I only get this close because you_ let_ me get this close."

Buffy's silent for a moment, just staring at her. Blinking a bit as she tries to take all of that in. Finally she says, "Too close." Faith cocks an eyebrow like _'see?'_ but she shakes her head, "No. You, me, us, too close. Right now. You and the nakedness are _way_ too close."

Faith rolls her eyes and steps back, once again closing the curtain roughly in front of her. "Point proven."

"Why does there have to be a point?" Buffy snaps, running her fingers through her hair in frustration as she walks away. She turns back around as she asks, "Why do you have to always dissect everything?"

"Me?" Faith cries. "You're the one who needs to rationalize everything so you can sleep better at night!" She shivers a bit as she notices the waters starting to get cold. Yeah, she had been in there way too long. "Just hand me a towel, will ya?" she snaps as she turns off the water. A towel is thrown in her general direction but it just hits the curtain and bounces off. "Thanks," Faith says dryly.

She opens the curtain and bends down, grabbing the towel as she steps out of the shower. Buffy's standing against the bathroom door, arms folded across her chest as she stares her down. Faith rolls her eyes again as she stands up straight, wrapping the towel around her.

"Y'know I'm starting to think the only reason you're in here is to get an eye full."

"Why is it always about sex with you?" Buffy asks, clicking her tongue in annoyance. "I mean, can you think of nothing else all day? Honestly."

Faith lets out a little amused laugh as she shakes out her hair. "Yeah, I think about slaying and eating." Buffy rolls her eyes, not finding that funny, but Faith doesn't care. She steps towards her, grasping the door handle, becoming very much in Buffy's face. "Besides," she says in a low voice, looking her in the eyes. She says each word slowly, just trying to make her point, "…It ain't _never _been about that."

She knew exactly what she was saying, but knew Buffy didn't, which is why it didn't matter. She pulls on the door lightly and Buffy moves out of her way, letting her pass through it. Buffy stands still for a moment, just trying to figure out something to say. Then she turns quickly calling out after her, "Then what_ is_ it about?"

Faith smirks, turning around. "Passion, girlfriend… It's always about passion. Anger, hate, love, lust, sadness, all the fuckin' craziness… it all boils down to that, don't it?"

That makes Buffy smile a little as she leans against the doorway, watching her get dressed. "So what?" she says slowly, "You're passionate about me then?" She sounds like she may like the sound of it, and suddenly Faith doesn't feel everything is all bad with the two of them. Because that's what they did, right? They fought, called each other names, made uncalled for sexual innuendos (alright, most of that has always been Faith, but still) and then… there was this.

"You sayin' you ain't?" Faith asks, a bit in challenge as she pulls her tank top over her head and adjusts her sweatpants. Buffy smirks a little and shrugs.

"Alright, fine. I can work with that. We're passionate about each other," she smiles, getting off the doorway and coming over to her. "At least it makes more sense than any other theory I've heard."

Faith cocks an amused eyebrow as she picks up her sneakers, putting them on. "You ain't gonna worry that makes you sound like a great big dyke now, are you?"

"Hey," Buffy says, defensive, "I'm comfortable enough in my sexuality that I can say I'm passionate about another woman." Faith snorts, and she defends, "I am!"

"Uh huh," Faith says in a tone that's filled with doubt, but amusement. "You keep telling yourself that." She smirks and gets up, walking towards the door. Well, uh, half a door, since it was still kicked in. "I'm gonna go work out. You comin'?"

"You just showered."

"You act like I can't take another one after," Faith says, laughing a little. She nods her head towards the door. "You game?"

Buffy purses her lips together in thought for a moment. "You go ahead; I'll meet up with you later."

"Suit yourself," Faith says, shrugging. She leaves Buffy standing in her room, but she also leaves with a big smile on her face. Hell, yeah, they might be a bit fucked up. They might fight and they might want to kill each other, fuckin' destroy everything and make the world all about them and what they're going through.

But agreeing they're passionate about each other? She'll take that. Because passion ain't all bad.

**TBC…**


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER NINE**

When Faith steps into Wolfram & Hart's little workout center for the suits, she's not surprised to see most of the new slayers already in there. The one she did notice over all the rest however was Kennedy, who was lying back on the weight bench, lifting. Faith cocks an eyebrow and strides over to her, coming up behind her and looking down at her suddenly.

"Hi there, K," she says, in a voice too chirpy to ever signify anything good.

The sudden intrusion of Faith in her line of vision startles Kennedy, and her grip slackens and the barbell almost falls on her. Faith shoots out her hands just in time to help her hold it up, before it all came crashing down on her chest. "Jesus," Kennedy exclaims as Faith helps her put it back up. She sits up as she holds her chest, looking at the older girl. "Are you _trying _to give me a heart attack?" Then she looks Faith over and notices her bruises, "Damn, what happened to you?"

"Something that's a whole lot better than what's about to happen to you," Faith tells her, then takes her by her elbow, forcing her to her feet, dragging her over to a corner. Kennedy yelps in surprise.

"Hey! What are you—?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Faith snaps at her once she's basically thrown her into a semi-private space. "Do you just wake up in the morning and decide, 'hey, since _I'm _official leader of the lesbians, I need to make sure no one else can join my little exclusive club'?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kennedy asks, her face masked in annoyance.

"My life is fuckin' hard enough without you spreading shit around!" Faith exclaims. "What? Do you think it's _funny?"_

"No, hey, whoa, hold on," Kennedy says, putting her hands up in defense and stepping away a bit. "That's not how that went down, I swear. I thought it was cute, what's going on with you two."

Faith puts her hands on her hips, a scowl on her face. "So wait, let me guess; you were the kid who ripped the heads off their Barbie dolls? 'It's cute so I must destroy'?"

"Pfft, and you weren't? Besides, Barbie isn't _cute,_ she's freaking hot for being a doll," Kennedy retorts. But when she realized that wasn't helping the situation she backtracks. "No, what I meant was that I told Willow, that was it, I swear. I think someone overheard me and just… well you've played the game 'telephone', haven't you?"

Faith cocks and eyebrow, but says nothing.

"I didn't mean for it to…" Kennedy sighs, leaning against the wall. "I'm sorry. Did she completely freak out?"

"You mean you didn't hear our fight last night?" Faith asks doubtfully. She's sure the whole damn building heard it. But Kennedy shakes her head.

"Willow soundproofed our room; nothing in or out. That's what happened to your face?"

"My face doesn't matter right now, it'll heal," Faith says, sighing. She crosses her arms across her chest and looks away from her to focus on all the girls training.

"What happened last night?" Kennedy asks, carefully.

"Nothing," Faith says, shrugging. "Just, you know, the usual. I bring a chick back to mine and Buffy freaks the hell out on me. We fight and somehow she ends up passed out in my fuckin' bed and watches me take a damn shower this morning." Kennedy raises her eyebrows, and Faith looks over at her. "It's not like it sounds."

Kennedy chuckles a little, "Don't know how else that _could _sound."

"I slept on the floor."

"Ouch," Kennedy says, wincing a bit, "She kicked you out of your own bed? That's cold."

"No, she fell asleep there and I didn't want to end up kicking her in the middle of the night so I opted for plan B," Faith explains, though has no idea why she's even bothering. Maybe it's because it's nice to have someone to finally talk to about this, even if Kennedy tends to get under her skin. "I just don't sleep with people much. Or ever. I'm pretty sure my body would lash out against it."

"Aw," Kennedy coos, and Faith flips her off. She laughs, "Hey, it's sweet. I give you lesbian points for that." Faith rolls her eyes. "But what I don't understand," she continues, cocking her head to the side to look at Faith intently. "Is why you don't just ask her out."

"Buffy's straight," Faith tells her, like she should have figured that much out by herself.

"Sorry, but your gaydar must be _all _off, cause mine goes haywire whenever she's around." A pause, "And especially…" Kennedy goes on slowly, playing with her tongue ring for a moment. Faith swears she talks like this for dramatic effect. "When she's around… you."

"Well you're 'gaydar' is broken then," Faith says, mocking the word.

"Hey, come on, seriously," Kennedy says, tapping her on the arm. "Ask Willow, I know these things."

"Well tell me this then," Faith says, rounding on her, arms still crossed. "If you knew Buffy was into the girly-lovin' from the minute you met her, why didn't you try to fuck her before you made camp with Red?"

Kennedy laughs, "Because she's bossy, annoying, arrogant, a know-it-all—" Faith glares at her, and Kennedy stops her list that seemed like it was gonna go on for quite awhile. She changes to, "She's too much like me, okay? I'm a brat. We clash. Besides, she's still half in the closet and I don't have much patience. But you? You guys fit. You might be cocky, but when she's around you lie down like a rug for her."

"Excuse me?"

"Hey, I'm not saying it's a bad thing. It is what it is. Besides," she goes on, arching an eyebrow. "The only woman she's ever going to go for is you."

"Seriously, what kind of crack are you smoking?"

Kennedy laughs and shrugs. "Hey, you can believe me or not, but my advice? If you want her, just take her. There isn't anyone stopping you but yourself." She gives her one last pointed look before walking off, back to the weight bench.

_Right, sure, because it's just that easy. Whatever._

Faith sighs, leaning against the wall as she watches everyone around her. They were all so happy; the threats over, big bad is gone. If only they knew an apocalypse comes around about once a year.

But yeah, they had time to have fun. The next evil ain't scheduled to make an appearance until November (according to some ancient prophecy Fred was rambling on about as she passed her in the hallway), and maybe she should just chill out and just… try, for once. Passion and all that, right? It had to mean something. Hell, even Buffy continuously being around her when she's naked had to mean something.

But there's still that nagging doubt in the back of her mind that she can't shake. Even if Buffy does have some tiny little part of her that's into chicks, why the hell would she want _her?_ She's sexy and all, she ain't stupid on that front, but with all the past? It doesn't make sense why Faith is love with her, let alone Buffy's maybe-but-probably-not attraction to her.

As if on some kind of cue, Buffy walks into the gym. She spots Faith in the corner and comes over, smirking. "Thought you were here to work out, not ogle the girls."

"Who says I'm not working out right now?" Faith retorts with this grin that should have let Buffy know that she shouldn't ask. But it didn't.

"Working out _what?"_

Faith cocks her head and smirks, "Something you can't see."

"Oh, gross," Buffy says, but laughs a little. Then she apparently thinks she can bring it all to the conversation because she says, "But seeing as how much you have sex, you probably need to tighten that back up."

"Ouch," Faith says, but it's all in good humor. "As opposed to you? I probably wouldn't even be able to squeeze my pinkie in."

"Hey, I have sex!" Buffy retorts, loud enough for some people to stare, but she wasn't paying attention. "It's just been a little while, that's all." Faith laughs a little and she narrows her eyes, hitting her with the back of her hand. "Come on, let's work out the _rest_ of your body."

"Aren't you scared it's going to lead to me wanting to see you naked again?" Faith asks, slightly in a huff, but she follows her to the mats anyway, stretching out her arms. She tried not to notice how everyone was staring at them. Seeing both of them bruised and beaten and probably hearing the cause of it last night, was probably making them wonder why the hell they were even talking in the first place.

Buffy smirks, tongue in cheek as she turns around. "You said it takes two to tango. So let's just try not to do that dance." Faith raises her eyebrows.

"You're taking some of the blame? Wait, wait," she says, and mockingly puts her fingers to her pulse. "Am I still breathing?"

"Shut up," Buffy says, but laughs a little, stepping back into a defense stance. "Let's do this."

"Hey, watch my right side. You fractured a rib last night," Faith tells her, but gets into position anyway. Being injured wasn't going to stop them.

"Fine. You sprained my wrist pretty badly too," Buffy admits, but Faith looks at her skeptically.

"What, did you hurt it when it collided with my face?"

"Probably, you have a pretty hard head," Buffy jokes, and then they start to circle each other.

All of the new slayers gathered around to watch their dance. And it was a dance with them this time. They put aside their ego's for once and just used each other to train, letting them feel each other through their connection rather than watch each other with their eyes. It was fluid and it was probably damn near beautiful by the way the onlookers whispered among themselves. And as usual, Buffy did end up on top, but Faith realized that maybe it isn't that bad being on bottom after all.

About a week went by and no drama commenced except for a few heated arguments here and there, but it was doable. Actually, it was more along the lines of fuckin' fantastic seeing as how they usually are. But they spent more time together, hung out, trained some of the newbies once they were well enough, and shit was kind of… it was kind of alright. More than alright.

But more than anything else, Buffy had seemed to accept how they were. And not just with the screaming and the angst, but she's been… playful, lately, Faith supposes is the word. She's basically flirting with her, though Faith is sure she'll never see it that way. She just thinks it's a joke, that they're having fun. And they are, it is fun. But it was more than that. Buffy might be kidding with all her innuendos and winks but Faith isn't, and she wonders if Buffy knows that.

Sometimes she thinks she does.

"Come on, night out, what do you say?" Buffy says, appearing in Faith's doorway suddenly. The door had been fixed by now, but Faith usually just kept it open since Buffy seems to be barging through it now-a-days anyway. Faith turns around.

"Just me and you? You asking me on a date, B?" Faith asks with a hint of a smirk, and maybe a little hope in her voice. Only a little.

Buffy rolls her eyes. "No, I meant all of us. The world didn't end; we should celebrate. At least now that everyone is able to." That makes Faith raise her eyebrows.

"You're advocating fun now? Thought that now everyone was better you'd be working them double shifts like at the Mickey D's."

"Hey, I know how to have fun," Buffy retorts, but Faith still looks skeptical. "I do! I'll prove it to you," she says, walking into her room and closing the door behind her. That makes Faith back up a little instinctively, half wondering if her having fun means that she's gonna do something sexual just to screw with her. The look in her eyes made her wonder, anyway.

Buffy stops in front of her though and holds out her hands in offering. "Dress me."

"What?"

"You heard me. I know you hate what I wear, so I'm going to let you have your fun tonight." Faith smirks and Buffy rolls her eyes, "Not in that way, moron. But really. Just this once, I'll be your Barbie." That puts a twinkle in Faith's eye and she darts off to her closet.

Buffy stands there patiently as Faith picks out the perfect outfit, and when Faith comes back with it, she makes a face. "No," Faith says quickly. "Remember, you told me I could."

"I didn't mean dress me in barely anything," Buffy says looking at her choice of clothing warily. Faith rolls her eyes. Please, if she was going to dress her in nothing she would _be _in nothing. Literally. Faith smirks at that mental image, and it was Buffy's turn to roll her eyes, like she knew what she was thinking.

"Come on, just try this on," Faith says after she snaps herself out of it, handing her the shirt first. Buffy takes it hesitantly, giving Faith one last look of distaste before she strips off her shirt. She goes to put the one Faith gave her on but Faith shakes her head, "You're gonna have to lose the bra, seriously."

Buffy makes a face, then an overdramatic sigh as she turns around so her back is facing Faith as she unhooks her bra. "Hey," Faith says, complaining a little. "You've seen me naked and I can't even see you topless? How is that fair?"

Buffy laughed. "The world isn't fair, Faith. Live with it," she says as she slides the tiny halter over her head. "Besides, when you see me naked it won't be like this." Then she freezes, realizing what she just said. So does Faith. "I didn't mean that how it sounded," Buffy says quickly, not turning around.

Faith tries to think of some witty comeback so they can just laugh it off, but nothing comes to mind. All she can think about is how that did completely sound like Buffy was planning on having sex with her at some point. And she can think of nothing to say back to that. At all.

She's pretty sure her brain just broke.

"I think we're just going to pretend I never said that," Buffy says, just trying to say _something_, and she turns around, grabbing the leather pants Faith had for her. Faith just stands there, stock still, still staring at her. "Faith," Buffy says, snapping in her face. "Earth to Faith. Moving on from that, are you with me?"

"What? Yeah. Sorry," Faith mumbles, trying to get past whatever that just was. "Sorry," she repeats, just to say something. Her brain still wasn't really working.

"You okay?" Buffy asks softly as she looks her over, almost in concern that she maybe did almost break the girl from one simple statement.

This is why she thinks Buffy knows.

She touches her arm lightly, and the sparks that produces is what shakes Faith out of it. "Yeah," she says, looking up at her with a grin. "You know me. Five by five." She nods at the pants. "So you gonna put those on or are you gonna go half naked?" Cue dirty smirk. It makes Buffy smile, since she's obviously okay now. She pinches her arm and Faith yelps in surprise.

"Perv," Buffy retorts, but unbuttons her jeans and pulls them down before putting on the ones designated for her. When she stands up to full height, she bites on her bottom lip a little. "So?"

What was going through Faith's mind was pretty much along the lines of _I'd like to rip those fucking things off of you_, but she winks and says, "You look hot, B." Buffy smiles, but fidgets with the clothes that were much tighter than what she was used to.

"I probably look like a hooker, don't I?" she asks, but she doesn't seem to be complaining too much.

"Yeah, but a high priced one," Faith jokes and Buffy shoves her playfully.

"Come on, I'm not done. I'm sure you're just _dying _to make me look like even more of a slut," Buffy jokes as she sits down at Faith's vanity, looking at her through the mirror. Faith grins and walks over to her, starting to fiddle with her hair.

And yes, by the time Buffy was done, she did kind of look like a slut. But she was definitely the sexiest slut Faith had ever seen in her life. Somehow, the woman made slutty clash with beautiful and she was just… gorgeous. Her hair was in loose, messy curls, and the shade of lipstick Faith slapped on her? God. The only thing Faith could think about was licking it off of her.

Which she tried very hard not to think about. Very hard.

"And the finishing touch…" Faith says with a grin as she picks up her cross necklace. She unclasps it and slides it up Buffy's collar bone slowly, maybe a little too slowly if she's to be honest, before clasping it around her neck and lifting her hair out of it. She lets her fingers linger on her skin probably longer than should be allowed, and when she looks into the mirror she catches Buffy's gaze. She's got this weird look on her face that Faith doesn't think she's ever seen before.

"Hey," Buffy says softly, and her hand reaches up to grabs Faith's that was lingering on her shoulder. "Maybe we should… ditch the necklace. I feel like it's just an invitation for baddies to come around and I'd rather the night not get interrupted by bored vampires."

"You think my necklace is cursed?" Faith asks, with mock hurt. But her only focus was on the fact that Buffy was still holding her hand there. Or maybe just holding her hand in general.

Buffy laughs a little, "Just rather not jinx it." She lets Faith's hand go then, sliding her fingertips back down it in a way that if it was any other woman, Faith would understand what it meant. But with Buffy? She second guesses everything, and therefore tends to let little things go right over her head, just like this. So she unclasps the necklace and puts it back on the vanity.

Buffy smiles, standing up. She turns around and loops her arm in hers, "Alright, let's go round up the troops."

"You know they're gonna be mad that you didn't give them time to get ready," Faith points out, trying not to dwell on Buffy's sudden touchy-feeliness.

Maybe she was already drunk?

"I'm going to give them time," Buffy defends, and then shrugs. "Me and you are going to go now though. They can meet us all later."

If Buffy was any other woman, the minute she slipped and said anything about nakedness Faith would have gotten her that way. If Buffy was any other woman, the subtle touches would have already become very obvious touches. If Buffy was any other woman, she'd have been fucking her five ways till Sunday without another thought.

But Buffy wasn't any other woman, so Faith follows her out the door, still too paranoid that she's making these things up in her head to ever really do anything about it.

**TBC…**


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN**

Friday night at a club was a lot better than Monday night at a bar.

The music was loud, the place reeked of lust and booze and the lighting made you want to either dance or take off your clothes. Maybe both. Buffy and Faith fell in there around eleven and the rest of the motley crew came about an hour later. At about two in the morning everyone was drunk, laughing, and having a good time. They had about another two hours before the club closed, and it seemed like none of them were planning on leaving a minute before.

Buffy, Faith, Willow, Kennedy, Xander, and Dawn sat around on the couches near the back, watching the other slayers run around and make fools of themselves in good fun. Giles and Andrew opted not to come, and neither did Robin. He actually hadn't been around that much, and Faith thinks it's partly her fault. She fucked the dude than basically ignored him, and he didn't seem like the type to really screw and leave.

"Someone tell me I'm not contributing to underage drinking," Buffy says with a bit of a groan as she's sprawled out on the couch, one leg draped over Faith's (which Faith tried to not think extensively about), as she watched all the Slayers. "I'll be able to sleep better tonight."

Dawn make's a guilty face and puts hers down. Kennedy, on the other hand, takes an overdramatic sip.

"Lighten up, B," Faith says, shoving her lightly. "If the kids got a way to get it, I say more power to them."

"I'd like to know where they all got their bracelets that show they're over twenty one," Xander says, then looks pointedly at Dawn, who slinks lower in her chair. But Xander isn't lecturing her; he seems more in awe of it than anything else.

"Found it?" she offers with a shrug, which doesn't sound like the truth even a little bit. Faith smirks and holds up her fist to Dawn, who bumps it. Buffy grabs her arm and puts it back down, her fingers lingering on it probably a bit more than they should. Faith tries not to notice that everyone else was looking at Buffy's behavior towards her curiously.

"You're a bad enough influence on her," she says, to which Faith merely shrugs. Hey, she never asked to be anyone's role model, or for people to follow her awesome ways.

"Come on," Kennedy says, getting up and taking Willow's hand with a smile, "Let's dance."

"I don't know," Willow says, looking at the dance floor. "Me and the feet? We don't get along so well. Stumbling is usually involved." But Kennedy just rolls her eyes at her playfully and pulls, helping her up.

"I'll catch you if you fall," she tells her with a loving smile before she leads her onto the dance floor. As Faith watches them leave, Buffy pokes her in the arm.

"You haven't asked me to dance yet, you know," she says pointedly.

"What am I? You're boyfriend now?" Faith jokes with a laugh, taking a sip of her drink. The way Buffy just said that completely sounded like she was her nagging girlfriend who was upset because she wasn't getting enough attention paid to her.

"You know, normally I'd ask if there was something you've been keeping from me if you think of yourself as a 'boyfriend'," Buffy laughs, and then her eyes land very much between Faith's legs. "But I already know that isn't true." Her eyes sweep up her body to land on hers.

Yeah, Buffy was a little drunk. That much was clear.

"Oh _ew!"_ Dawn exclaims suddenly, looking at the two of them and taking that in completely the wrong way. "You two actually had sex?! I didn't need to know that!"

"What?!" Buffy exclaims, but Dawn's already up and holding her hands over her ears going 'la la la la' as she tries to get away from something that's probably gonna scar her for the rest of her life. "I didn't mean…! Dawn!" But she's gone, and all that's left is Xander who's staring at them like they have two heads. Well, okay, four heads, between them.

"I don't want to know," he says, standing up before he walks away. Buffy tries to protest, but it falls on deaf ears, until all that's left is the two of them. Faith can't do anything else but laugh. She's pretty sure the only reason Xander doesn't want to know is so he's not tempted to wack off to the thought.

"Oh shut up," Buffy says, shoving her hard in annoyance once they're alone. "Now everyone is gonna think I'm sleeping with you." She slumps in her seat and pouts, and it makes Faith giggle. It didn't matter what it was about; Buffy was adorable when she pouted.

Alright, she didn't just use the word adorable. That's completely not in her vocabulary.

"There are worse things."

"Says you."

"Oh, ouch," Faith says, holding her hand to her chest dramatically. But Buffy's still pouting, so she stands up, holding her hand out to her, trying to cheer her up a little. "May I have this dance?" she asks with a stupid (and probably drunk) looking grin on her face. And yeah, maybe it was cheesy, but hey, if the girl says she wants to dance…

"Now you're just mocking me," Buffy says, folding her arms across her chest and making a face filled with grumpiness. Faith holds up her hands in surrender.

"Hey, you said you wanted to dance. Excuse me for trying, girlfriend."

Buffy narrows her eyes, as if studying her to detect a lie, but then her eyes widen and Faith feels a tap on her shoulder. She turns around to come face to face with a man. A very good looking man, if she's to be honest.

"Hey, can I buy you a drink?" he asks with his suave little smile in his expensive looking suit and nicely shaven goatee.

"Back off," Buffy snaps suddenly, and his eyes widen. So do Faith's. And even though she's not turned around to see it, she's pretty sure Buffy's just did too.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were with…" he trails off. "Sorry," he says again, backing away. Faith whips around, confusement all over her face.

"When did we start doing the territorial thing?" Faith asks, just trying to find something to say. "I missed that memo."

"I just… he was just…" Buffy starts, trying to find something to say to defend herself. She waves her hands in the air all crazy-like. "You could do better than him," she finishes, lamely. Faith just stares at her.

Buffy rolls her eyes, like Faith should just let it go, and takes Faith's hand, pulling her down to sit next to her. "I think I'm a little drunk," she admits, and Faith's bound to agree on that point at least. "Whatever. Things are spinning a bit, and so you should be here with me and not with Mr. Goatee," Buffy says, and moves to lie down so her head is in Faith's lap. Faith can do nothing else but just look down at her. _What is she doing?_

"Stop," Buffy says, and hits her chin lightly with her hand. Faith looks disgruntled at that. "Stop thinking. I hate when you do that."

"You hate when I think?" Faith asks, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yes."

"Well sorry, then. Let me just lay here like a vegetable for you," Faith deadpans, but Buffy rolls her eyes.

"That's not what I meant," she responds, and she takes one of Faith's hands to drape around her torso. Faith makes every effort not to react to that in any way, shape or form, because she's starting to think that's what Buffy's talking about.

She has the urge to pinch herself to see if she's dreaming, but that'd just end up looking wicked retarded.

Instead she just goes with it. What else can she do? She feels a bit bad, like maybe she's taking advantage of Buffy because she's drunk, but Buffy's the one encouraging… whatever this is. Not like it's gotten to any kind of level that they need to raise alarm bells about. She lets her fingers softly trace patterns on the skin of Buffy's midriff that's exposed, just trying to let go of thinking.

Best way to do that though is to drink, so she picks up her glass. It's time to get hammered.

"You ever wonder what it would be like if we were never slayers? That we just grew up normal, both of us, together, in a normal high school somewhere?" Buffy asks as she looks up at her.

Faith shrugs. "Never gave it much thought," she says honestly. "Though I'm sure if we did, we'd never hang out together."

"Why do you say that?"

"B," Faith says flatly, stopping the movement of her fingers. "Look at you and look at me. We're cut from different cloths, sweetheart. Ain't no way we'd ever be besties."

"Hey, you don't know that," Buffy says, sitting up a little, which then practically made her on top of Faith, leaning over her. "I would have hung out with you."

Faith snorts, "Whatever. Maybe if you were looking for drugs. I know how I look to everyone else. And I also know you were little-ms.-popular back before you became a slayer."

Buffy makes a face, then slumps her shoulders, relenting. "Fine," she says, and lies back down in Faith's lap. She points up at her, determined, "But I _totally_ would have hung out with you in college." Faith just laughs, amused at her persistence. She'll let her have that one. For now.

Faith found that her fingers started running through Buffy's hair of their own accord as Buffy turns her head to the side so she can take another sip of her drink, like she actually needed more alcohol or something. But it didn't matter, them being drunk didn't really matter because it let them let down the walls they usually hold up so high and guard so protectively. After Buffy puts her drink back down she looks at Faith and smiles a little, and her hand finds the one that's resting on her midriff. She doesn't hold it, but she lays hers on top, and her thumb was definitely stroking the top of hers a little.

Faith brushes a piece of blonde hair off of her forehead, letting her fingers linger on her skin for a little. Buffy purses her lips and looks down for a minute, before her eyes find hers again. "Does it always feel this way for you?" she asks her suddenly. Quiet, but loud enough for her to hear over the music. Loud enough that the question seemed to be ringing in her ears, but not because of the decibel.

"What?" Faith asks cautiously, but she can feel her heart speed up against her will by the way Buffy was looking at her. Buffy shrugs a little, then takes her hand and runs it right over Faith's skin, hovering over it about an inch. Faith could feel her even though she wasn't touching her, but that was nothing new for her.

"This. The connection," Buffy says as she tests it out more, running her hand up as it hovers over Faith's arm. "You've always seemed to feel more than me. You were always more in touch with it than I was," she tells her as she watches her hand go up further, up her neck, and over to brush her lips. The tingles shot all the way through her, deep into her bloodstream.

"B," Faith says quickly, moving her head away and blinking heavily at that feeling. "Don't do that."

But Buffy looks more intrigued by her reaction, and as she lets her hand fall, she does it slowly… all the way down her chest. Faith jumps up, practically throwing Buffy off of her. "I said don't!" Faith says, a little more forcefully this time and she looks down at her. Shivers were running down her spine and her hairs stood on end. Yeah, this was different. She could feel her, but it was so much more this time.

"Sorry," Buffy says automatically, sitting up. "I didn't mean—"

"This isn't some kind of _game _for me, Buffy!" Faith exclaims, standing up. She's upset all of a sudden, just out of nowhere, and she doesn't know how to get a handle of it. "This all might be some kind of fun experiment for you but I really don't need you fuckin' playing with me right now."

"Faith…"

But Faith turns and walks away, just needing to get some breathing room. She makes her way out the side door and into the alleyway, finding a place against the brick wall to lean as she digs in her pockets for her cigarettes. She's not surprised when the door opens not a minute after her and Buffy comes out, right when she's lighting it.

"I wish you wouldn't do that," she says, meaning smoking, as she makes her way over to her, hands in her pockets. Faith just shrugs, really not caring what she wishes right at that moment.

The cool night air makes the leaves on the trees tremble and both girls shiver. Buffy wraps her arms around herself, but doesn't complain about it. She looks up at her and tries, "Look, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking…"

"You never think," Faith mumbles as she takes a drag of her cigarette, letting the white stream of smoke fall from her lips quickly.

"I keep forgetting you like women," Buffy says, just trying to make it better. She holds herself tighter in the cool night air. "I just… don't think. I guess. I'm really sorry," she says, and it sounds genuine, so Faith's eyes flicker to hers for a moment. She flicks her cigarette ash and just looks at her for awhile, before she sighs and throws her cigarette on the ground.

"Let's go inside, you're freezing."

"No," Buffy says, stepping closer to her. "We can talk out here. In there it's all loud and… drunk. I don't know," she says, then nods a bit at her. "Just let me… in your coat."

Faith chuckles a little but unzips her coat and holds it open for Buffy, who takes another step before leaning completely against her chest, letting Faith wrap her coat around her. Faith can feel Buffy slightly shiver again, so she holds her tighter, trying not to think about the intoxicating smell that was the older girl. "So talk," Faith says in a low voice as she buries her face in her hair, telling herself it was to keep her face away from the breeze.

But Buffy doesn't say anything. Faith can feel her hand rest lightly on her hip, half on her belt and half on her exposed skin that her shirt gave her from riding up a bit with her arms being around the other woman. Buffy presses into her more, making Faith close her eyes and decide that talking would suck right now anyway because it'd probably ruin the most perfect moment she's ever had with Buffy in her entire life.

She can hear the low thumping of the music inside, but all she's focused on is the sound of Buffy's breath near her ear. It's picked up slightly, and Faith feels her run her fingers up Faith's shirt. It's slow, agonizingly and painfully slow, and it makes Faith close her eyes from the feeling. "Is it always like this with you?" Buffy asks, this time in a whisper, and meaning so much more than just the connection.

Faith has no idea how the hell she's managing to still breathe. Buffy brushes her lips across her neck, and Faith tries not to gasp at that as she tells her quietly, "Every day…" She closes her eyes shut tighter, wishing that didn't just come out of her mouth. But Buffy's fingers are now running back down her stomach softly, and her breathing is a bit hitched as she presses herself deeper into her, letting her lips fall to her neck for just a moment.

"B…" Faith manages to get out, not understanding what she's doing and least of all why right now.

"Sorry," Buffy says quietly, backing off a little, but still leaning herself against the younger slayer. "I think I'm drunk…" she manages softly, as she lifts her head up to look up at Faith. They lock eyes and Faith licks her bottom lip a bit nervously, which makes Buffy's gaze drop to watch. Faith can see her breathing has picked up; she can see her chest rise and fall and yet that in no way prepared her for what was coming next.

Faith has no idea when Buffy moved, but all of a sudden her lips brushed hers softly, making Faith close her eyes again and let out a tiny breath she didn't know she'd been holding. It was hesitant, almost testing, and when Faith opens her eyes to look at Buffy, they're only a breath apart. "I can feel it," Buffy whispers, the breath falling from her lips dancing across Faith's sensitive flesh. "You, everything. It's never been like this… it's like…" she stops, trying to find the words. As she does, her hand slides a little further up Faith's shirt, over the base of her ribcage, making Faith inhale sharply. "It's like we're one person… I don't know…" she trails off, and Faith is breathless as she waits for her to make her move, because she sure as hell is too frozen to do anything herself.

She's still half convinced this is a dream.

Emotions flicker across Buffy's face as she's silent for a moment, before the words Faith is torn between not knowing if she ever wanted to hear or glad that she did, comes out of her mouth. "…How long have you loved me?" Buffy asks softly, looking at her with more vulnerability than Faith has ever seen on her.

But it terrified her. It terrified her to realize that Buffy knew. It opened a whole new set of doors and instated brand new rules that she just didn't know how to follow. And when she's scared, she does what her first instinct is. "B, I can't do this," Faith gasps out, pushing her away from her a little, just needing room to breathe. But Buffy can't handle her not answering that question, can't handle her trying to run away, so she grabs onto her, stilling her, then backs her up against the wall again, her body pressed tightly against her.

"I need to know!" Buffy tells her, a bit desperately as she looks her in the eyes, yanking on her shirt for effect. "Just… damnit," she says, half in defeat as she looks at her, "Faith. Please…"

But she doesn't end up giving her a chance to answer, because all of a sudden her lips are on hers, and Faith is drowning in the feeling. Her eyes close and instinct takes over as she pulls her closer, running her hand up the back of her shirt, just needing to feel her skin. Buffy opens her mouth, emitting a quiet moan that tickles Faith's bottom lip, allowing her to slide her tongue in and dance with hers.

It was so much like a dream, but also harsh like reality as Buffy's fingernails rake down her ribcage before she holds onto her. "Tell me," Buffy whispered, breathless between kisses, her voice coming out rushed and desperate, "Just tell me…"

"Forever," Faith gasps out before her lips collide with hers again, turning them around so Buffy's the one pressed against the wall before her lips fall to her neck, making Buffy moan softly and grab onto her back as she closes her eyes, pressing her breasts into hers. Faith lets her lips find her throat, then her shoulder, back to her neck before they meet hers again, panting slightly against Buffy's lips.

Her hand slides up Buffy's shirt, but Buffy grabs a hold of it before it reaches its destination and laces their fingers together, raising their arms up so it's over her head. "Not here," she whispers against her lips, before kissing her softly. "Not in some dirty alley…"

Faith's breathless as she nods, leaning in to kiss her once more before she leans her forehead against hers, closing her eyes. It was almost too much for her to handle, and she felt like her heart was about to pound its way out of her chest. "Not when you're drunk," Faith adds in a whisper. "Fuck," she says, and gets off of her then, realizing something.

Buffy looks at her confused as Faith steps back and runs her fingers through her hair, her hands shaking slightly. "You're drunk," she says, though it's mostly to herself than to Buffy.

"Faith…"

But Faith's doubts are flowing through her mind again, completely without remorse, and it's making her chest tighten. Buffy's drunk. She's just drunk. That's all this really was. If Buffy was in her right mind this would have never happened. This was just some fake bullshit as a result of the alcohol and fuck, it was tearing her to shreds inside.

"Faith!"

But it's distant now, and Faith realizes she's running, and no matter how badly she wants to stop herself, she finds that she can't.

**TBC…**


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: Damn, eight reviews in less than 24 hours? I should torture ya'll with cliffhangers more often. Haha.**_

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

She's definitely going to turn into an alcoholic.

Faith sat at the bar, downing her fourth shot of Jack Daniels in ten minutes. Maybe the bar down the road wasn't the best choice to go to, but she sure as hell wasn't gonna end up back at the ranch cause she just can't deal with that right now. Can't deal with Buffy. Can't deal with _drunk_ Buffy, who's probably pissed off that she just took off after they got a little hands on against a brick fuckin' wall in the freezing cold.

It didn't make sense.

Alright, the liquor part made sense. Liquor makes people do funny things. It dulls reality and twists it into making the worst possible scenario look like a friggin' field of flowers. And it wasn't like she's saying that it wasn't the best damn moment she's ever had in her life, because it was. It was like a dream come true, minus the harsh reality of booze and bad timing. Cause that's what it's gotta be, right? Just bad timing. Buffy was drunk and Faith was just_ there_ and it was all some kind of stupid drunken mistake that Buffy's gonna realize she made when she wakes up in the morning with the hangover from hell.

Hopefully she's drunk enough to forget the part where Faith told her she's been in love with her forever. Maybe Faith will get lucky and she'll forget about the whole thing. But her luck never works like that.

She's such a fuckin' moron sometimes she wonders how the hell she's managed to survive this long. One night of touchy-feeliness and Faith jumps to the conclusion that somehow, from some bizarre twist of fate, Buffy had the hots for her? She was drunk. _She was just fucking drunk._

Like Faith's getting right now. Though by now Faith's probably three sheets past the damn wind more than Buffy. With all she drank at the club and now, as she orders her, fuck, maybe sixth, seventh shot of the night in this place, her vision is more than just a little fucked off and she's in a daze that she can't snap herself out of. All her slayer balance doesn't help her right now, she sways a bit as she stands herself up, gripping the counter to steady herself. She vaguely hears the bartender cutting her off, but it doesn't matter. One more and she's definitely going to puke. Might do it now, just because.

But it was all fucked up. _So_ fucked up. It's not real, any of this.

She's not really sure how she made it back to her room. She knows she fell twice trying to go up the stairs because the stupid elevator didn't work. She swears she was pushing the damn button, but she might be seeing double right now so she probably was just pushing the duplicate. Fuck. Whatever. She's just gonna pour herself into bed, and probably not get out of it until enough time has passed that Buffy isn't going to feel the need to punch her for taking advantage of her when she was wasted. Days? Months? Years? Really doesn't matter. This was one thing she doesn't want to face.

Her bedroom door falls open with a crash as she stumbles, still holding onto the door handle as she collapses against it and into her room. She swears, picks herself up, and then realizes the lights are on. She didn't leave them on. At least, she didn't think so. But hell, she wasn't even sure of her own name at the moment.

"Faith?"

Oh right, that's what her name is.

Faith stands up and tries to focus her vision on the source of the sound. She blinks once, twice, trying to make the three Buffy's stop doing their dance and move back into being one entity. "What the fuck you doin' here, B?" She manages to get out, squinting a bit. Too much light. One hand slams against the wall, sliding down to flip the switch. There, that's better. Now to move on to more important things; like sitting before she falls.

"You just… _left."_

"Aware of that," Faith slurs as she stumbles over to her bed, landing on it with a crash. She doesn't care though. She didn't break it, so whatever. She rolls on her back and stares at the ceiling, trying to get a hold on her screwed up vision. She's vaguely aware of Buffy sitting next to her, but it doesn't matter.

"Then you're aware you're an asshole?" Buffy snaps, still a bit drunk herself. Faith can hear it in the tone of her voice. Buffy looks down at her, how upset she is written all over her face, and yet she still feels the need to shriek, "How could you _do_ that to me?!"

"_Christ_, B. Can it, will ya?" Faith hisses at her before she takes a pillow and pulls it over her head, holding it over her ears. Fuck, she didn't need to be that loud. Damn near echoed in her skull.

"No, Faith, what the fuck!" Buffy yells, grabbing the pillow from Faith and throwing it across the room. Faith growls, but doesn't move. She's not sure she can. "And how much have you been _drinking?"_

"A couple. A few. Maybe a boat full. I don't know, I need to pass out, can't you scream at me in the morning?" Faith asks in what sounded like an intoxicated tone even to her drunk ears, and she makes a face and closes her eyes. Good. Fucking. NIGHT.

"NO!" Buffy yells, and slaps her face to wake her up. It isn't hard, but it makes Faith jerk back, her eyes flying open. "No, you are not just gonna 'get some, get gone' me, Faith! What the fuck is your issue?! Do you tell every woman you come across that you're in love with her? That's _screwed up!"_

"The fact that you just fucking _touched_ me would be one of my issues right now," Faith growls as she sits up, trying to fight the dizziness. She glares at Buffy, trying to keep her image as one person, not two. She closes one eye. Alright, that makes it a bit better. "And just fuck off, will you? You really think I tell every bitch I meet that? I don't have to resort to that crap to get in people's pants. In case it escaped your notice, I'm fucking _hot."_

"You don't just say something like that and run, Faith! You can't do this to me! Here I am with this messed up realization that I might be one big fat _lesbian _for you, and you just… run away like some stupid _prick!"_ Buffy exclaims as she pushes Faith back. She's just trying to make her point, and it wasn't rough, but when Faith's drunk her defenses kick in cause she's vulnerable while intoxicated, and her fist swung before she even realized she had moved.

After that, everything was a blur. And when Faith woke up the next morning with the hangover from hell, stark fuckin' nude with a naked Buffy in her bed, it startled her so bad that she jumped up, scrambled backwards… and fell right on the floor.

"FUCK!" she yells, the pain shooting up her spine. That wakes up Buffy, who's hazy in her disorientation from her own hangover… until she looks down at herself, looks over at Faith… and screams. Fucking _screams._

Great.

"What the_ fuck_ happened last night?" Faith asks as she tries to pick herself off the floor, looking around at the state of the room. Practically everything was _trashed._

"Oh my god," Buffy says, grabbing Faith's sheets and clutching them close to her chest to obstruct her nudity from Faith's view. "Did we have _sex?"_

"How do you not know?!" Faith yells, suddenly angry because if she had sex with Buffy and didn't remember it that just sucks on so many different levels. But it wasn't just that. She didn't like when she blacked out. She doesn't like not knowing what went on in her own life. That scared her. "Out of both of us, you were the least trashed last night!"

"Oh god. Oh god, oh god, oh god," Buffy repeats, eyes wide. "Oh god, oh god."

"Alright, enough!" Faith snaps, needing to get Buffy out of her little terrorized moment that apparently the thought of sleeping with her does. She grabs her head as pain shoots through her temples. Fuck. This so isn't good. She sits back down on the bed, grabbing her aspirin out of the bedside table drawer and swallowing three without water. She puts her head in her hands and tries to think, but she only remembered bits and pieces. "Last thing I remember, I punched you out," Faith says in a low voice, just trying to contribute something. She doesn't look at her.

"I…" Buffy starts and then clears her throat, blinking a bit as she tries to think. "I remember us fighting…"

"Anything else?" Faith asks, though it comes out more of a groan. She runs her fingers through her hair and bends down, picking up their clothes on the floor. She throws Buffy hers without a word.

"We. We, uh. We kissed," Buffy says, though it sounds like it's difficult coming out of her mouth. She starts to put back on her clothes, but Faith just sits there, frustrated with the world.

"In the alley. I remember that at least."

"No," Buffy says quietly. "After that. In here." That makes Faith turn to her.

"We try to kill each other and then make out?" Faith scoffs, even though it's really not that funny. "Sounds like us." Kinda fuckin' sad in a way. She shakes her head. "Anything else?"

"Well I don't remember getting _naked,_ if that's what you mean," Buffy snaps, her own hangover making her moody. She pulls her shirt over her head, looking at her in a way that Faith couldn't decipher. Buffy should come with a user manual.

"Well, fuck. One way to find out if we had sex…" Faith says, then slips her fingers over herself. Buffy's eyes go wide as Faith feels around.

"What are you _doing?_ Stop!"

She ignores her protests. She was going to find out one way or another. "We didn't have sex," Faith tells her finally, withdrawing her hand. "Least, you didn't fuck me." Buffy's looking at her like she's insane. And she might be, but not for this.

"And how can you tell _that?"_

"Pelvic bone, B. If you'd have fucked me… slayer strength. It would have been bruised from your knuckles hitting it."

"Oh _god,"_ Buffy says again, putting her head in her hands. "I didn't need that mental image…"

This was what Faith was afraid of. This is why she ran the fuck away. She was drunk, and she regrets it. It didn't take a genius to figure that one out. Buffy looks like she swallowed jagged rocks and is about to throw them all back up. Faith bites the inside of her cheek, trying not to think about that. She wasn't about to have some hangover induced breakdown right now. She has more important things to do.

"You gotta check," she tells Buffy quietly. She knows this isn't going to go over well.

"What? No! I am not… _NO!"_

"I need to know if I fucked you, Buffy!" Faith yells as she finally grabs her shirt and pulls it over her head. "Fuck, this is important, so just _do it."_

"I am not going to stick my hand down my pants in front of you!"

"Then do it in the fuckin' bathroom. I don't give a shit, just do it, will ya?! Damn!" Faith yells, and Buffy stares at her for a long time before she gets up in a huff, throwing the covers at Faith for good measure, and storming into the bathroom. The door closes with a slam.

A minute passes and Buffy finally reemerges. "Well?" Faith asks, her heart speeding up. She's praying she didn't do anything stupid last night.

"No. No, you didn't…"

Buffy makes her way over to the bed and sits down heavily, right next to Faith. She puts her head in her hands and sighs, staring at the floor. The two women are silent for awhile, just trying to remember last night as best they could. But nothing new appears in their memories, so they're both left with nothing.

"Figures," Faith says quietly, mostly to herself.

"What?" Buffy asks, just as quiet. She looks over at her.

"That we tried to fuck but couldn't. Sounds like us too," Faith says, distaste coloring her tone. Disgust at herself, at the whole situation.

"Why do you assume we tried to have sex?" Buffy asks, slightly accusing, but with not enough effort for it to piss Faith off.

"You think we got naked for shits and giggles, B?" Buffy doesn't say anything, just looks away from her. "Yeah, didn't think so."

"Look I can't… I can't handle any of this right now," Buffy stammers, running her hands up her pant legs nervously. She doesn't look at her when she talks either, but Faith didn't expect as much. "This is too much. All of it. You. Me. Us. Kissing? I mean… it's just too much."

"Which I why I fuckin' stopped it. You were ready to bring me back to your room after the alley," Faith snaps, just cause she wishes she didn't hear that. She needs to put some of the blame on Buffy too. It was partly her fault, after all. Getting all drunk and stupid and just _fucking_ with Faith's emotions.

That makes Buffy look over at her, "Yeah…" she says, trailing off a bit. She chews on her bottom lip for a moment before saying softly. "Thanks. For that."

Faith looks at her surprised. "Out of the hundreds of things I thought you would've said to that, that wasn't one of them." Buffy's just quiet though, and Faith plays with her hands, nervous. She needed to ask. She sure as hell probably doesn't want to know the answer, but she's gotta ask, "…What do you remember about the alley?"

"Everything," Buffy says quietly. She doesn't meet her gaze.

"Great," Faith says, sarcastically, as she gets up and starts fucking pacing. "Just… fucking great." She runs her fingers through her hair, frustrated. So Buffy knew she was in love with her. That's just… _great._

"Faith…"

"Really don't wanna hear it. Don't think my sanity can handle hearing it," Faith interrupts, holding her hand up to her to silence her as she still paces back in forth and front of the older girl. She was probably making her dizzy, but she didn't care.

"I'm just not ready yet," Buffy tells her honestly, completely disregarding Faith's plea for her to just _not _right now. "This is too fast. This is way too fast. Scary fast. I need a second to just let it sink in that I'm…"

"That you're what?" Faith asks, stopping finally to stand in front of her.

Buffy looks up at her, but looks uncomfortable to admit, "That I'm maybe, sort of… attracted to you. On some weird messed up level that makes no sense because of… _us._ And also, secondly? Women? Hi, didn't see that one coming." She sighs, then waves her hand absentminded. "Or _woman,_ whatever."

"Welcome to my nightmare, B. Been here for about five years now."

Buffy looks surprised by that revelation, that it's been so long, and she takes a breath. She reaches out to take Faith's hand, pulling her back down to sit on the bed next to her. "I just… need some time, okay? My head hurts and I can't remember last night which is scary, and I know you… that you… you…" she seems to be trying to find the words to say, then finishes with, "that you have… _feelings _for me… and, okay, yeah, didn't really see that one either. Sexy feelings, yes. With the nakedness and stuff. I saw that. But real feelings? The kind with the romantic snugglies and the whatever else? No. That… that I missed."

"Yeah, well," Faith mumbles. It's the only thing she can get out. Buffy is still holding her hand though, and so it makes her feel a bit better that she's obviously not running _screaming._

"And what if this doesn't work out?" Buffy says suddenly, fear in her voice. "I mean, what if we do the naked thing, and maybe the flowers and candy thing, and then we have another big fight and hate each other forever? That scares me. And I know that we won't always get along, and that I've always been like I don't care if you're here or there but when you're not around it feels like I'm missing something. And I don't know if that's the connection or something more, but I don't want it to go away if we screw everything up. I like that feeling. The feeling of us." She pauses, but only for a second. "And what if I have sex with you _wrong?_ Oh god. I mean it's not like I'm experienced in the way of the lesbians, here."

"I don't think you can really do it _wrong, _B," Faith says, a hint of amusement in her voice from her little rant. The way of the lesbians? _Really?_

"I just… I need time," Buffy tells her, squeezing her hand a little. "And probably some space. So I can just… figure out what I want. Okay?"

Faith just nods, and she misses the feeling of Buffy's hand as she slips it away. Faith takes a breath, trying to just… relax. Because that? That didn't go as bad as she thought it would. Compared to what she was expecting, that just set off fireworks.

Buffy gets up, about to leave, when she turns back around again. "I don't know how long it'll take," she tells her, or maybe warns her. "And I don't expect you to wait around for me. So if you…"

The only thing Faith can do is nod, but that's probably because she can't find her voice. After Buffy leaves, she just sits there for a little while, just trying to come to terms that something might actually happen between the two of them. Something real. That there _is _something real, somewhere, hidden deep down. If there wasn't then Buffy wouldn't be doing this.

It seemed so much like a fantasy, but when Faith stands up, feeling the soreness from the fight they had last night, she smiles. Bruises never felt so good.

**TBC…**


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

"You woke up naked with Buffy?!"

Faith slams her stake down that she was in the middle of sharpening, and looks up at Kennedy who has decided to grace Faith with her presence this afternoon. "What_ is_ this, high school?" Faith replies, frustrated. "How the _hell _does everyone find out about this shit??"

"I don't know about everyone, but Buffy told Willow and Willow told me," Kennedy says as she just invites herself into Faith's room. Faith just stares at her. But Kennedy isn't put off by her unwelcoming behavior; instead she smiles and plops down next to her. "So, _details?"_

"Apparently you already got them from Willow," Faith responds as she picks up her stake again, gripping her blade as she flecks off pieces of wood.

"Not the same thing," Kennedy tells her. "Besides," she goes on, with a little taunt in her voice, "Don't you want to know what Buffy said about it…?"

"Do I _look _fifteen to you?"

"No, you look like a woman who's hopelessly in love and therefore needs to know if she has a chance in hell. Don't you want to know…?" Still with the taunting. Faith tries to ignore her, but her curiosity is peaked. She acts nonchalant though as she focuses on sharpening.

"You know, you getting your lesbian kicks through me is really fucking weird. You do have a woman of your own, you know."

"Just tell me."

Faith rolls her eyes as she lets out a breath, putting her stake down before looking at her. She cocks an eyebrow. "I don't know. We got drunk, we made out, we fought, made out some more, probably while naked, and apparently didn't have sex. The end."

Kennedy scoffs. "Alright, even Buffy gave more detail than _that."_

"What do you want me to say, Ken? I don't want to get all fuckin' googly eyed and get my hopes up and whatever else about this. B said she needed time, and knowing her that could be years," Faith says. And it's the truth. While she was absolutely ecstatic for a little while, she realized that Buffy is the queen of indecisiveness when it comes to her romantic life, and it might take forever for her to even come to a decision about them. So basically, she's back where she started, only this time she has the ghost of Buffy's lips lingering on hers and memories that make a lot better masturbation material than her fantasies just because they're _real._

"Years? Please. I give it a week tops," Kennedy says with her little cocky know-it-all attitude. Faith just looks at her skeptically, so Kennedy leans forward, putting her elbows on her knees as she looks at her. "Look, the girl's into you. I know it, you know it, and more importantly, _she_ knows it. It won't take long before she cracks."

Faith doesn't say anything for a moment, but only cause she's battling with herself over a asking a question or not. She loses though, and she asks begrudgingly, "What did Buffy say about me?"

"HA!" Kennedy says, a smile of victory on her face as she has the nerve to _point _at her. "I knew you couldn't stand it for long!"

"Fuck off, seriously."

"You need to work on your manners," Kennedy tells her pointedly, but sits back and crosses her legs as she looks at her, this smirk lingering on her lips. "Well, for starters, she told Willow that you were beautiful." That makes Faith raise her eyebrows, and Kennedy's smirk widens. "And…" she draws out.

"Don't pull this crap, come on."

Kennedy chuckles, "This is fun for me, I gotta prolong it for my own benefit."

"You act like I won't kick your ass out this fucking door," Faith growls, grumpy. She doesn't want to be played with today. Especially not over something like this.

"You seriously have way too much tension, when's the last time you got laid?" Kennedy asks, commenting on her violent little tendencies she's been having lately.

Faith sighs, leaning back on her bed. She stares at the ceiling. "I dunno. Like a week?" Fuck. It really has been far too long.

"Oh, ouch. No wonder."

"Well it's not like I can go pick up any random person anymore; last time I did I got my ass handed to me by Buffy. Really not looking to start another fight right now."

Kennedy smirks, leaning down to lie on the bed next to her. "You can't say that Buffy getting all jealous and violent over you doesn't get you going though." She prods her a bit, making all these little faces that Faith almost wants to slap off of her. Why does she talk to this girl? Really.

"Just tell me what she said, damn."

Kennedy smirks, playing with the comforter a bit as she talks, "That kissing you was one of the best kisses she's ever had in her life."

Faith whips her head around to face her instead of the ceiling, and fuck; she thinks she just pulled something. She rubs her neck as she asks, "Seriously?"

"Mhm…" Kennedy says with a smile, but then she shrugs and sighs. "But you know her. She thinks if she has sex with you the whole world will come to an end. Big angst; fight-to-the-death… whatever it is with you guys.

"That's a little fucking dramatic."

"It's Buffy."

"…Good point," Faith says, then picks herself back up to a sitting position. She sighs as she puts her hands together and rests them on her lips for a second, her elbows on her knees as she stares at the wall. Then all of a sudden she's up again, slapping her hands on her thighs. "And she's right, ain't she? I mean, us? All we're gonna do is fight and fuck if we start doing this whole thing. Which, yeah, alright, the fuckin' part would be great and all that but we're just gonna end up destroying each other. I love her, she thinks I'm hot, yeah whatever, one day. The next? We're both trying to tear each other's fucking faces off."

"Okay, both of you with all this _drama _is getting stupid," Kennedy tells her, looking at her pointedly. "You _love _her, Faith. You guys have this weird little connection or something, whatever the hell Willow was talking about, and it's like… alright, I don't want to say destiny, but I'll say it anyway."

Faith scoffs, "Over the top, ya think?"

"As opposed to you two?" Kennedy says, then mocks, with dramatic little swooning gestures, "_Oh, I love her soooo much but if we ever pursue this relationship we'll bring about the next apocalypse!"_ She folds her arms into herself and raises a brow, "Really. Get over yourselves. If you two do the naked thing, I highly doubt some Big Bad is going to rise from hell."

"It's not just the _naked thing!"_ Faith exclaims, getting up and grabbing her stake, twirling it in her fingers as she walks around. "It's more than just down and dirty fucking, here. This is _Buffy."_

"Like I said; get over yourselves. Buffy ain't all that, and frankly neither are you, so really? Just get your girl and move on with her in your life. You guys are completely into torturing yourselves, and it's getting old."

"Fuck off."

"Once again with the manners," Kennedy says, but stands up. "Hey," she says softer, looking at her. Faith makes a point not to look back at her, a scowl on her face as she focuses on the stake in her hand. "In all seriousness… you love her. Just do what feels right, but don't torture yourself because you think you can't handle the bad. No relationship is perfect."

"Whatever," Faith mumbles, biting the inside of her cheek a little. She knew she was right, but that didn't make her any less freaked out about it. It's like everything she's ever wanted is really within her reach, fuckin' finally… and what does she do? She finds reasons why she can't just take it. It's so damn typical for her that the repetitiveness of the entire thing really makes her kind of hate herself.

Besides, the word _relationship_ makes her scoff a bit. Not that she didn't want that with Buffy. She's just never been one for dates, flowers, moon eyes, and the touchy-feeliness… but with her? She's pretty sure she could manage. Hopefully, anyway. But Buffy wanting to be in a relationship with _her?_ See, there's one of two ways this whole thing can go: One, Buffy decides she does want to get down and dirty with her, they do it a couple times, end up in some big fight, blah blah. The fucking end, thanks for playing the game. Two, she tells her she's completely straight and that last night was due to misjudgments and too much vodka.

A relationship didn't exactly fit in the picture.

Kennedy left, leaving her to her thoughts. Later that night, she took the troops on patrol… with Buffy. Weekends were always the busiest, so they had to double up the man power. Honestly, Faith was surprised Buffy let them take last night off, because she was usually General Uptight about it. But the group did deserve at least one big hurrah for the whole saving the world from impending doom thing, and at least everyone else had fun.

Well, alright, she did have fun. Obviously. With Buffy's tongue down her throat and the nakedness, that usually equaled fun. If they just wiped the fight out of the picture, and the morning awkwardness, it was damn near close to a successful first date. Though not like Faith has any others to compare it too.

The word _date_ in her head makes her snort out loud though since it was so close to ridiculous that she found it amusing, and a couple people, including Buffy, turn to look at her in question.

"Just… thought of something funny," Faith mumbles, not really wanting all the attention right now, which was probably a shocker, but hey. Patrolling with Buffy after their conversation that morning was weird. They barely even spoke to each other besides a few awkward, "Hi's."

"Least you're having fun in your head," Rona says with a bit of a huff as she plays with her axe. "This is _boring."_ She swings her weapon a little absentmindedly, almost cutting Vi in the process.

"Hey, watch it!"

"Gotta agree there," Kennedy interjects, like always. Faith is ninety eight percent sure that if this girl doesn't stick her opinion in at every chance she gets, her head might explode. "There are ten of us and we've killed two vampires. _Two."_

"Look guys, I know this isn't the most active patrol we've had, but we have to stick to the schedule. One more hour," Buffy tells them, to which everyone groans. "We can spread out, cover more ground. But stay in each other's line of sight and if there's a problem, yell for either Faith or myself."

Some people were heard mocking Buffy under their breaths, but Buffy chose to ignore it. Faith, however, didn't. "Hey, do what she says and stop bitching. This is training, not a walk on the fuckin' beach."

"Way to defend your woman," Kennedy says in this amused little tone and a fist thrust in the air, and for a split second Faith has the urge to rip her head off of her body.

Instead she just gives her a sarcastic smile and flips her off. "Eat me."

"Otherwise engaged, but thanks for the offer."

Buffy was turning pink all through that exchange, especially with the few stares in her direction from the Slayers that didn't wander off far enough to not be in hearing range. "Faith, don't," she says quietly, embarrassed, as Kennedy just looks at them in amusement before going off with Rona, leaving the two slayers alone. "I can handle myself."

"I just don't like people mouthin' off to you, B."

"I know, and… I appreciate the 'grr' and all, but I can handle it," Buffy tells her softly. She looked all kinds of awkward and embarrassed over it, so Faith threw up her hands in defense.

"Hey, sorry. You want the troops to disrespect, it's cool."

"That's not…" Buffy starts, but sighs a little. "They're just frustrated. Do you remember when we first got our powers? It's like nothing could touch us. We just wanted to just kill demons all day long." She pauses, then admits, "Well okay, that was more you than me, but I did enjoy it a lot at the beginning, and I remember being frustrated when there was no action. They just have pent up energy. Let them live through a few apocalypses and _then _have them run through a cemetery when it's quiet. That's the only time they'll be thankful that it is."

"Way to make us sound old," Faith says, but she smirks a little, glancing in her direction out of the corner of her eyes. She meant to just look away, but Buffy's eyes catch hers and she smiles a little before shrugging.

"We are old, at least for being Slayers."

"Hey, come on," Faith says, twirling her stake in between her fingers. "You know us. We ain't gonna be dying any time soon. I'm willin' to put money on us fifty years from now, kicking undead ass with our walkers together." She laughs a little at that mental picture, then she realizes how that sounded. Like she meant she wanted to grow old with Buffy. Them. Together. She quickly says, "Didn't mean that the way it sounded."

"…I didn't think anything of it until just now," Buffy tells her quietly, and Faith feels like an idiot for opening her mouth and basically putting the idea in her head when she was trying to dismiss it. They're silent for a little while as they walk through the headstones, keeping their eyes on their little disciples. Finally Buffy says, "Do we… should we talk?"

"We talked this morning," Faith says, not looking at her. "And, y'know, I get it. I respect it. It's cool. I can do the space thing, back off for a bit. Be over here," she moves away from her a bit, to get her point across, "until you need me. Or don't. Or. Whatever." She finally lets herself glance in her direction, though only for her little self reward for making that come out sounding okay and not the sad mess that she really felt about it.

"Have you done the… space thing, before?" Buffy asks carefully, then makes a face. "That was stupid, of course you haven't. No relationships." Then her eyes go wide. "Not that this is a… _you know._ Just. With the feelings, it's kind of not just a sex thing, so I don't know if there's any other word besides… _you know. _But not that _you know_ is completely off the table, cause it's not. But it's not all the way on the table either, maybe like suspending mid-air, like some haunted book, or maybe a haunted muffin? I think I heard about a haunted muffin once, though I really wouldn't compare it to a relat—"

"B," Faith says, amused. "You're babbling."

"Right. Sorry," Buffy says, turning pink again. It makes Faith smile a little, cause fuck. Buffy was cute. And yeah, that word ain't normally in her vocabulary but right now? With the babbling and the embarrassment? She was very cute.

"You're cute when you do that," Faith tells her, then wants to punch herself in the flippin' jaw. Alright. Brain? Mouth? Meet filter. Fuckin' ridiculous.

Buffy looks down, her pink turning into a brighter shade of red. "Sorry," Faith says, automatically. "Backing off. Shouldn't have said that."

"No, it's fine," Buffy says softly, trying to get over her embarrassment. "It's just… weird," she admits, looking up at her again. "Not the woman thing. Well, okay, that's weird too. But. You. You and the sweet comments? I'm used to… sex comments. The sweet is kind of throwing me for a loop."

"Sorry," Faith mumbles again, and now it's her turn to be embarrassed. The sweet thing was new for her too. Not that she didn't always have sickingly sweet comments floating in her brain all damn day about the woman, but voicing them out loud? That would be a first. For anyone.

"No. It's… good," Buffy says finally, but then looks a bit awkward for admitting that. She turns away from her, choosing to look at the troops and their endless boredom. "I mean it's nice. And. I um, I appreciate them."

"Well… you're welcome then," Faith says slowly, like she doesn't know what to say to that.

"And it's not just you," Buffy blurts out suddenly. "It's not just the relationship with you thing that's got me wigged. It's all of my relationships. And all the bad. It's always just heartbreak and pain and I don't think I'm ready to do that again right now."

"B… you sure this is the time to talk about this?" Faith asks, thinking it's a little soon since Buffy said she needed space. Besides, they were in the middle of patrolling with eight other slayers. Granted, not a single one was paying attention to them, but still.

"No," Buffy says, fiddling with her own stake nervously, "But I just… wanted you to know."

"Noted and filed. Relationships; bad."

"No, Faith. _No,"_ Buffy says, sounding exasperated with her. She finally looks at her again as she says, "I'm not saying poo on relationships. I know you've never done the relationship thing so I'm not trying to tell you that when you finally do that I'm all 'no, relationships are evil' now, cause I'm not. I'm just… wary of them, at the moment."

"Got it," Faith says, keeping her answers short and sweet. But Buffy looks disgruntled.

"You know, opinions would be helpful here."

"You know me, not much of a talker," Faith says, avoiding her gaze. But Buffy keeps staring at her expectantly so she sighs, attempting to get in on the whole talking thing. "Fine. No, I ain't never done a relationship. No, I don't know if I'd be any good at it. No, I'm not sure it'll work out between us either, and _no,_ I don't know if I can wait for you. There, happy? Everything you need to know between this morning and now."

Buffy blinks, not really expecting that. "Okay…" she says slowly. "Hated that last answer, but I did ask for it. Though, not specifically, so kinda wish you didn't say that out loud."

"Well what do you expect me to do, B?" Faith asks, rounding on her, making her stop. "You know me. Always gettin' some. About to go stir crazy and it's only been a week."

"So what?" Buffy asks, putting her hands on her hips. "Are you saying that if I did do this… _thing _with you, and I wanted to wait a little while, that you'd run off and cheat on me because I wasn't putting out?"

"What? No. I didn't say that. Don't put fuckin' words in my mouth, Buffy."

"Well what's the difference then?" Buffy asks, clearly annoyed now.

But Faith doesn't have a chance to answer, because all of a sudden they hear a scream, their names being called, and they're both taking off towards the sound without a moment's hesitation. Talking would have to come later.

**TBC…**


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N: Wow, this is the most story alerts I've ever had for a fic on this site. Yay :) And as always, thank you for reviewing!**_

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

"Faith, just do it already!"

"Well if you held still it wouldn't take this long, damn!"

"Ow!" Buffy yells as Faith pops her shoulder back into place, before shoving Faith backwards with her good arm out of instinct. She winces as she tries to shake off the pain, taking a breath. She tests out her arm a little, moving it slowly at first, cautiously, until she's sure that Faith put it back in right. After a minute she looks at her, a bit shamefully, "Sorry. For the… pushing."

"S'cool. Know how it is." Faith looks her over a bit, running her eyes up her body until they rest on the gash on her forehead. She nods to it, "You want me too…?"

"What?" Buffy asks, then presses her hand to her head, wincing. When she pulls her hand back and she finds it only mildly bloody she says, "Oh, no… no it's fine. I can handle it." She looks over Faith though and makes an 'ouch' face. "But you… we need to fix that. You. With the blood."

Faith looks down at her bloodied up arm like she barely even recognizes it. She shrugs, "It's fine. Barely feel it. Still got the adrenaline pumpin'. Bit of a rush; the vamps having weapons. Been a while since that happened."

Buffy smirks a little, but nods. It makes Faith smile cause she knows that Buffy's excited about it, even though she'll never outwardly show it. But she feels it just like Faith does. Just like all of them do. "That was one big nest. You think it'd be like _The Real World,_ wouldn't you? All cramped up together in a tiny space. I figured they would have went insane and killed off at least half of their little Brady Bunch."

Faith shrugs, but smiles. "Hey, we got through it. No one died. I say that's a plus."

"Rona re-broke her arm though," Buffy says, sighing. "I told her not to go out so soon, but she's stubborn. Even with Slayer healing, a broken arm doesn't magically mend itself."

"Yeah, well, you know how—" Faith starts as she stretches her arms over her head, but interrupts herself when a lightning bolt of pain shoots through her it. Alright, so on the list of smart things to do, that definitely wasn't one of them.

"You're not _fine,"_ Buffy tells her, rolling her eyes a bit. Stubborn. All of them. That's what Faith was going to say, but probably just demonstrated instead. "Come here," she tells her, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards her bathroom.

"B, it's cool, really—" Faith tries to tell her as she's dragged along and then placed firmly on the toilet seat.

"Hey, let me have my little Nurse Buffy moment," she tells her with a smile as she opens her cabinet to get out bandages and antiseptics.

Faith cocks and eyebrow, "Alright, you _know _you left that one wide open, right?"

Buffy tries to hide her smirk as she digs around for what she's looking for. "I'm surprised you didn't jump right in with the first thing that came to mind," she says, with a hint of a challenge in her voice. That makes Faith raise her eyebrows.

"Thought I was doing the whole backing off thing now."

Buffy shrugs as she pulls out the things she needs, before kneeling down in front of her. "Well maybe I miss a bit of the old innuendos. Doesn't seem like you when they're not involved in at least thirty percent of our conversation."

Faith looks at her, this little smile lighting up her face as something dawns at her, "So wait… you do these things on purpose?"

"Hey," Buffy exclaims, mockingly offended, with that little innocent act she puts on so well. "I never said that. I would _never."_

"Uh huh. I know your game now, B."

Buffy just purses her lips together before letting out a small giggle. She pours some antiseptic on a cloth and applies it to Faith's wound, which makes her emit a small hiss, "Fuck! That stings."

"Well what did you think it was going to feel like?" Buffy tells her with a bit of a chiding tone as she cleans the wound. But then she makes a face of discomfort as she looks at it, "I think you're going to need stitches."

"It'll heal, Buffy. Relax."

"Yeah, but if we don't stitch it up it'll scar," Buffy tells her pointedly as she gets up, heading back into the cabinet to get more supplies.

Faith just shrugs, "It ain't the first scar I got. Ain't gonna be the last." But that makes Buffy freeze, and Faith realizes what she just implied, "No, I didn't mean that as—it wasn't a dig, I swear." Fuck. Way to go, Faith. Let's just bring up past fuck ups while you're at it.

"I…" Buffy starts, blinking a bit to shake herself out of the place she just was. No doubt five years ago. "I uh," she stammers as she grabs what she needs, before turning to her with a look Faith wishes she'd never have to see Buffy have in her life. So much pain. Guilt. Anguish. "I'm so sorry…" she says, her voice cracking a bit from the tension.

"S'Fine," Faith manages, but her voice cracks too and she looks down at her stomach instinctively. The long, deep, painful reminder of that night on the roof. She bites her tongue and sucks it up though, trying to shrug it off. "Y'know me, B. Dealin'. It was a long time ago."

Buffy doesn't say anything for a moment as she walks over to her hesitantly. She swallows the lump in her throat before she grabs a cup, pouring rubbing alcohol in it before putting the thread in there, letting it soak and become sterile. She turns back to her, that look still not gone from her face, before she starts to have some kind of internal struggle.

Faith just watches her as she bends down, taking Faith's head in her hands gently. When her lips press against her forehead, Faith's eye's flutter shut and she has the strangest sense of déjà vu but can't seem to place where it was coming from. "I'm sorry," Buffy whispers against her skin; before she slides down to kneel in front of her, her hand falling as slow as she does until they're resting on her cheeks softly. Faith opens her eyes, and the intensity, all the emotion, Buffy was looking back at her with was almost too much.

Her voice comes out shaky, but as she brings her hand up to cover one of Buffy's letting her fingers curl around it, she says quietly, "I know." And she did. And that was all it ever had to be; just an 'I'm sorry.' She didn't need to know why she did it; she already knew why. She didn't blame her for it either, so it was just… done. Past. Happened and was fucked up, but hey. That's life…

Live and learn… all that crap.

Buffy turns her hand around and hesitantly holds Faith's, leaving the back of it to press against her face. Faith's heart beat is increasing, and she's pretty sure Buffy can hear it, but she doesn't say anything. They just look at each other for a long time, before Buffy's other hand tentatively starts stroking her cheek softly. Faith has no idea what this is, if it even _is_ anything, but hell, it felt like something. Her fingers trail lightly down her features, studying the curve of her jaw, the fullness of her lips. Faith exhales a shaky breath that she didn't know she'd been holding, and tightens the grip on Buffy's hand.

"B…" she says softly. "This… isn't helping. With the backing off…"

"I know," Buffy whispers as her fingers trail lightly down her neck. She seems to shake herself out of it though and clears her throat, letting go of Faith's hand. "Sorry," she says, though mostly to the floor. She smiles a little, shy, and looks back up at her. "You're just… beautiful. I just want you to know that…"

Faith can feel the heat rising up her neck to her face before she can stop it, and she looks away so Buffy doesn't notice. But she does. Her face breaks out in a smile and she says, like it's the cutest thing in the fuckin' world, "Aww, did I just make you blush? I didn't know you could do that."

"Shut up," Faith mumbles, before looking back at her and pointing her finger at her warningly. "You tell anyone and I will kick your ass."

Buffy just smirks. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone," she says as she gets up, then adds, "You big softy," as she gets the needle and the soaked thread. Faith flips her off, but it just widens her smirk. She's back to business in a second though. "Lighter?" she asks.

"Yeah," Faith says, before digging in her pocket. She holds it out to Buffy, and she takes it, making it flame and holding the needle over it as she makes it sterile. After she's done, she kneels back down as she threads it. When it's through, she has a look of pure concentration on her face as she brings Faith's arm towards her.

"This might hurt."

"Thank you for the obvious, Nurse Buffy," Faith says flatly, but it just seems to amuse Buffy and Faith watches her smile. She starts stitching the wound, and Faith tries to act like all super tough nothing-can-hurt-me slayer, but really, in the end, her and needles? Bad mix. Yeah, she's got the tattoo, but it wasn't like she asked for it or anything. Fuckin' Kakistos and his wacked out tracking devices.

Faith hisses in pain as the needle goes through her sore, raw skin, and Buffy apparently feels the need to tease, "You're being a big baby tonight, you know. It's just a tiny needle."

"Yeah well let's see how well you react to it when I start shoving a needle through one of _your _open wounds," Faith snaps, but apparently nothing can get on Buffy's bad side right now because she just giggles at her.

"Lucky for me, we don't have to, seeing as I didn't get in the way of a great big knife. Unlike some people I know."

"I hate you."

"No you don't," Buffy responds, still amused. She stitches up the last bit then says, "There, all done. Let me clean it one more time." She gets up and runs the cloth under some clean water.

"Yes, mother," Faith says dryly.

"Faith," Buffy says flatly, glancing over at her and raising an eyebrow. "Gross concept. Seriously."

"What? You don't want me to go all mommy fetish on you?" Faith teases, smirking. Getting back into her old game, since Buffy wants her too. That's still a mind fuck and a half. "Thought you'd be into a little kink."

"First of all," Buffy says as she kneels back down and starts wiping the rest of the blood off her arm. "I'm a year older than you, so I don't think that constitutes much of a mommy fetish. Second of all, what I may or may not be into is none of your business." She pauses, and she can't help the twitch of a smile at the corner of her lips as she teases her, "…Yet."

"See, now you're just talkin' shit. The slay gettin' to you?"

"Once again, I don't get H&H," Buffy repeats, but it's with entertained patience. She's liking their little banter, she can't hide it anymore. She wipes off the blood slowly, probably a bit too slowly. She's dragging the cloth across her skin in an agonizingly taunting manner as she looks Faith square in the eyes, "And I don't talk shit, for the record."

"It _is_ getting to you," Faith says triumphantly, then runs her tongue over her teeth a bit as she peers at her. "You hittin' on me, B?"

Buffy rolls her eyes, but she still can't stop that smile of hers. She throws the soiled cloth in the sink and turns back to her. "Maybe… a little," she admits. "But we're not gonna do anything about it," she said quickly, pointing for effect.

"Yeah, yeah. Time, patience, space, the whole nine yards. Got it," Faith says, but she can't stop her own smile that's forming either_. Buffy was hitting on her._ Actually, the more oh my fucking god thing about that was that Buffy is _admitting_ she was hitting on her. She didn't expect that one. Especially not this soon. Maybe Kennedy was right.

She hopes she never has to use that sentence again. Sounds a bit fucked up.

Buffy gets herself off of the floor, and Faith stands up too. They both make their way back into Buffy's bedroom, before Faith turns to her. "Thanks for the… _nursing_," she makes the word sound as dirty as possible, and it makes Buffy blush. She's still smiling though, so Faith takes it as a win on her behalf. "I'm gonna hit the sack. See you in the morning?"

"Okay," Buffy says, but as Faith turns away, almost out the door, she's stopped by, "Actually, Faith?" Faith turns around to look at her and Buffy asks, "Do you want to… spend the night with me?"

Faith blinks, "What? Like some kind of girly sleepover?"

"Something like that."

Faith just stares at her for a minute, but the longer she stares, the longer she can see Buffy becoming uncomfortable and nervous about what she just asked, so she says the first thing that comes to mind. "Y'know, for giving a whole speech on space, you don't seem to want to do it that much."

Buffy huffs. "Well, fine. We'll scratch space off the list. But there's still time and patience," she tells her, folding her arms into herself a bit. "I just…" but she trails off, uncomfortable. She looks away from her.

Faith steps away from the door, closing it behind her. "You just wanna what, Buffy?" Faith asks her softly, making her way over to the blonde.

"I don't know. I guess just see what it would be like. Being with you."

Faith's eyes widen, and she blurts the words out before she has time to stop them, _"Are you asking to have sex with me?"_

"NO!" Buffy cries, pushing her back a little. "No, that's not what I meant. God. I just meant, I don't know, we can do it as some sort of experiment. The whole being with you thing, in a very_ not_ naked way," she adds with firmness in her voice. "Just for tonight. Just. I don't know. We can just hang out. And just do whatever feels natural. Like we can hold hands, and maybe watch a movie or something," she finishes, the last part coming out sounding a bit embarrassed.

"Oh," Faith says, still surprised. "Uh, sure B. I'm down with that."

Buffy smiles. "Good. I mean I'm glad. That… well, you know. Um, let me get you some PJs," she says, that little blush coming back as she wanders over to her closet. Faith can do nothing else but stare at her. It was all so surreal, in a way. Like she should be dreaming but she sure as hell ain't. Against her better judgment, she's starting to think Buffy might actually like her a little bit.

Buffy throws some clothes at her, and Faith looks down. Then she looks up, her eyebrow raised, "Seriously?"

"What? They're pajamas."

"B. They have teddy bears on them," Faith says flatly. "Do I _look_ like a teddy bear person to you?"

"Oh stop whining and go change," Buffy tells her, scooting her towards the bathroom. Faith goes, but reluctantly. When the door closes with a click behind her, she looks down at the monstrosity in her hands. Great. Cause this is really what she needs right now. To look like a freaking stuffed animal. But she puts them on, making a point to not look at herself in the mirror, and when she comes out, she stops dead when she sees the look on Buffy's face. Oh, she better fucking not…

"Aww, you look _adorable."_

Faith scowls. "I seriously hate you right now, just so you're aware." But she comes over to sit by Buffy, who's grinning at her as she holds out her hand to her. Faith takes it, making a large note that Buffy got to wear the normal, solid colored PJs, and decides that Buffy is probably just messing with her to see what she'll do for her. But when Buffy's fingers lace around hers, she finds she couldn't give a crap less about the stupid pajamas.

They watched some old movie, Faith sitting against the wall on Buffy's bed as the older girl laid her head in her lap. Faith stroked her hair absentmindedly with the hand that was free, since the other one Buffy held close to her chest, fingers still intertwined, as they tried to pay attention to the movie. But Faith didn't care about the movie. She kept looking down at Buffy, watching her own fingers slide through her silky blonde tresses and she realizes that Buffy is the only thing that's ever worthwhile to really look at.

It was so… couply. The way they were. It was couply without the kisses and the sex, and while Faith usually tries to stay the hell away from all of that, with Buffy she couldn't get enough of it. Maybe she is turning into one great big soft pile of mush, but hell, right? This right here is like Christmas came early, and she didn't ever want the night to end.

But after awhile they both grew tired, and they climbed into bed together. Faith offered to sleep on the floor, but Buffy grabbed her hand, told her to "stop being stupid," and pulled her under the covers with her. The lights were out, and all that could be heard was the sounds of crickets outside. They both lay there in the dark, facing each other for a bit, still holding hands. They didn't say anything, they really didn't need to. Buffy gives her a small smile before she leans in, kisses her on the forehead, and then rolls over… taking Faith with her.

Faith's about to freak out, cause she's pretty sure she has an aversion to _spooning,_ but when Buffy settles her back against Faith's breasts and holds her hand close, she realizes spooning really isn't all bad. She just lies there for awhile as she begins to hear Buffy's breathing slow and once she's sure she's asleep, Faith gently untangles herself from Buffy. Spooning isn't bad, no, but she definitely couldn't sleep like that. But before she turns over, she brushes some of Buffy's hair away from her shoulder, and kisses it softly. Once, twice. Just little butterfly kisses; gentle. "I love you Buffy," she whispers, just needing to say it out loud to her for once, even though she knows she can't hear her. Buffy's breathing is deep and even, and Faith smiles a little before rolling over and falling into a deep slumber.

What Faith was unaware of though, was that Buffy wasn't asleep. And as Buffy continues to try to feign it, she can't help the single tear that falls down her cheek.

**TBC… **


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N: Awkward... anyone else *not* getting notifications from this site, or is that just me? o.O Thought I didn't have any reviews for last chapter since they never got emailed and I come on here and I have six. Hm. Anyway, this chapter includes adult material. Skip if you don't prefer that type of thing.**_

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

Soft touches and feather light kisses littered her body as she arched her back and pressed into the feeling; diving into it, needing to be completely devoured by it. There's breathless words and the heat of skin connecting with skin. Need. Lust. Desire. Raw and untamed, but so passionate and so patient that it opens up and swallows Faith whole. She's gasping out Buffy's name as she digs her nails into her back, feeling so on the brink of screaming but not able to say a word. It's like it surrounded her, sucking her in and spitting her back out and_ god_ she knows she'll never get tired of this.

"Faith…"

But Faith doesn't want her to talk. She covers her mouth with hers and feels her melt into it. A moan, a scream, a cry to fuckin' God and she's so damn high she feels like she's flying. It's all about feeling; touching and being touched, feeling every part of Buffy because she can. And not just physically, it goes so much deeper than that and she knows that this woman owns part of her soul.

"FAITH!"

There're hands on her; shaking her. Suddenly the edges start to fade and the world around her begins to disappear as she's pulled into another, Buffy's voice echoing in the back of her mind, "Faith! Wake up!"

"Wha—?" Faith mumbles, being brought back to reality. She squints as she opens her eyes, but finds this world too damn bright, so she closes them again. "Leave me alone, was havin' a dream…" she mumbles, trying to roll over, but Buffy just shakes her again. Faith growls in aggravation.

"I know what you were having," Buffy says, and there's this funny tone in her voice which definitely wakes Faith up a whole lot more. She opens her eyes to look at her, trying to adjust to the brightness. Buffy's pink as she motions to the covers, this look of embarrassment on her face. "Faith… I uh. I think your hand… I think it's in your…."

"What?" Faith asks, then suddenly she's very aware that she's_ touching_ herself. She rips her hand away from herself fast, the mortification of the situation laying claim._ Fuck. Way to go Faith. Spend one night with Buffy and you're diddling yourself in her bed. _She can do nothing but groan and pulls the covers over her head. Yeah, she's not opposed to just dying in here right now.

It's not like she's embarrassed when it comes to sex. But there's just something about screwing yourself in the love of your life's bed when you haven't even gotten to any kind of stage close to that yet.

Yeah, just fuckin' kill her.

There's silence for a long time, both of them too embarrassed to talk. Finally though, Buffy feels like she needs to say something about it apparently, because she opens with, "Do you… uh. Do you need to relieve some… tension?"

Someone shoot her in the face, please.

"Probably," Faith mumbles under the covers, even though she knew that probably was really a hell yes she does. Her groin was aching from being interrupted, and Buffy wasn't helping. Not that she was being sexy or anything, but it's gotten to the point that just being around Buffy doesn't help in the not getting turned on area.

"Well. Um. You can… you can use my shower, if you need to," Buffy says, the embarrassment clear in her voice. But she was trying to be mature about this, which Faith had to give her points for. "You can… finish. And then maybe we can go get some breakfast?"

That makes Faith take the covers off of her head, staring at her incredulously, "Are you saying you want me to masturbate in your shower?"

Buffy flushed a deep crimson. "God, Faith! You didn't have to say it and make it all out _there _like that. And I didn't say _want_, I said… you know… if you _need _too…" she was turning all kinds of shades of red now. Multi-colored Buffy.

But that just makes Faith smirk a little as she hops out of bed, "Thanks, B. Think I'll take you up on your offer." Well, the awkward embarrassment was gone now. Maybe she just needed to wake up fully for it to actually kick in. Buffy's clearly isn't though, because the redness of her face doesn't seem to be subsiding. But Faith doesn't linger, she's in the bathroom, shutting the door, and discarding her clothes faster than she can say five by five.

The water's on in a rush and she steps in the shower quickly, feeling the pull to release her tension. The hot spray beats against her skin rhythmically and she leans against the wall, closing her eyes. Fuck, that was some dream. She pictures what parts she can remember in her mind, and as her hand slips over her wet clit that has _nothing _to do with the water from the shower, she moans softly, trying to hold onto her fantasy.

Part of her is worried that she moaned Buffy's name in her sleep while she was doing herself, but another part of her finds the sexy in that somehow. Buffy all flustered, watching her get herself off for a minute before her brain clicks and she realizes that she should probably stop it. She wonders how long she let her do it, what she was thinking about, how it made her feel. Did it freak her out or turn her on? Maybe a little of both.

Faith applies more pressure and lets out a shuddered breath, the steam from the shower mixing with her sexual haze so that she can almost taste it in the moisture of the air. Tight, perfectly executed circles from years of practice makes her brain foggy and all she can think about is the alley, Buffy pressed tight against her as she completely fuckin' devours her sanity. She can almost feel Buffy's breath on her lips and her feather light touches on her skin and she lifts up her leg, propping it on the edge of the tub as her fingers delve deeper, slipping inside of herself with ease.

Faith can't stop the low moan that escapes her lips, but it wasn't from the feeling. At least, not that feeling. It was a feeling of a whole different nature; the connection. She can feel it's pull, drawing her in as she feels Buffy on the other side of the bathroom door, her curiosity clearly getting the best of her. But Faith doesn't quiet herself, doesn't stop. It just revs her up more, starts up the engine and begins to take her on one hell of a ride. She's panting hard, the coolness of the tile behind her mixing with the heat of her skin and she moans loud, hard, rough, as she slams her head back against the wall.

"Fuck," she gasps, feeling the heat flowing through the connection they share. Buffy can hear her, she knows it. She can almost feel everything she's feeling, her sudden lust mixed with her own. She's so far away and yet she can hear Buffy's heart speed up, the breath being taken from her as she listens to the sound of Faith's pleasure.

Faith's other hand connects with the wall hard as she gasps, lurching forward as she can feel the burn starting to build in the pit of her abdomen. Her fingers curl inside herself slightly as she works to a more furious rhythm, the whole world blacking out around her except for what she can feel coming from the other slayer, and as her muscles tighten around her fingers and then release, she rides out her wave with, "Buffy!" falling from her lips.

It's over, but so far from it. She turns off the shower and gets out, still not being able to feel anything besides the pull. She doesn't get a towel, doesn't dry herself off, she just walks towards the door, feeling nothing besides what's on the other side of it.

But the pull was not just being felt by Faith, because before she can reach out for the door knob, the wooden obstruction is pulled open, and suddenly Faith's pressed up against the wall as Buffy's kissing her with more passion that Faith's ever felt in her entire life. It cuts right through her entire being and she groans from the contact, her arms wrapping around her to pull her closer.

Buffy's panting against her lips; her lust being fueled by desperate need as she tangles her fingers in Faith's hair, pulling just enough that it drives Faith absolutely crazy. The animal in her begins to emerge and she pushes her backwards, lips locked with her for every second as things come crashing to the floor that were once littered absentmindedly on the sink, before Faith picks her up and places her on it. Her lips find her neck and she bites down with the right amount of pressure that makes Buffy gasp out her name.

"Fuck, Buffy…" Faith moans against the sensitive flesh of her neck as Buffy's hands slide up her stomach and land on her breasts so fast that she can barely have time to think. But it's not about thinking, it's about feeling, and as Faith's lips collide with hers she groans deep against her lips as Buffy's fingertips tease her nipples. They break the kiss for only a second to look deep into each other's eyes, and after Faith see's nothing but need in them, her fingers find the hem of Buffy's shirt and suddenly it's discarded to the floor.

"Oh god," Buffy pants as she closes her eyes, leaning against the wall as Faith's lips fall to her shoulder, down her chest, until she's captured a nipple. Buffy moans and arcs her back into her, her fingernails digging into her back as Faith teases her, in all the best and worst ways. There was nothing else in the world but them in that moment. At least, until…

"Knock knock," comes the cheerful voice of Willow as she opens the bedroom door. Both of their eyes go wide, and Buffy's pushing Faith off of her so hard her back collides with the wall, pain shooting down her spine. But she doesn't have time to dwell on it, because Buffy has thrown her a towel and is trying to find her shirt before Willow walks into the bathroom and witnesses something neither one of them think they want witnesses to.

"Buffy? Hey, I just wanted to check if you were…" Willow says as she comes into view of the bathroom, stopping dead at the sight before her. "…Okay," she finishes.

"I was changing, and there was this bang, and Faith fell, in the shower, you know how slippery it can be, and so I was helping her get up," Buffy lets out all in a rush as she clutches the shirt to her chest, since she didn't have time to put it on. Faith grips the towel around her, and already knows Willow isn't going to fall for that. They were breathless, a bit disheveled, and Buffy's lie? Kinda sucked.

"Uh huh…" Willow says slowly, eyeing the two of them carefully. She shrugs a little, almost like she was both sheepish and yet confident in what she knew. "Didn't ask," she says pointedly, and Buffy flushes. Yeah, she kind of sucks at this whole lying thing.

"No, I know, I just know how this can look and I…" but she stops herself, sighing, giving up. She knew it was pointless. "What was it you wanted?" she asks, dejected a bit by her lack of evasion skills.

"I was just checking to see if you were okay. Heard there was a big 'grr' fest last night and that you got a little hurt. But… but I see you're fine. So. I'm just gonna…" she points to the door, and Buffy just groans, putting her head in her heads. Willow takes that as her cue to leave, and all that's left is just Faith and Buffy, and a whole mess of awkward.

"Think I'm gonna get dressed…" Faith says, feeling like their little moment is over and it's probably the best idea. Buffy doesn't say anything, she's still knee deep in her embarrassment, so Faith leaves her in the bathroom as she goes hunting for her clothes. She finds them on the floor, in some heap, though she could have sworn she at least folded the things. But it didn't matter. She dresses herself quickly, and just as she zips up her jeans; Buffy makes her way back into the bedroom.

They just look at each other for a good five minutes.

"Okay…" Buffy says finally, blinking a bit. "That was… that was _that,_ and I, uh, um. We… uh. Okay." She stutters a little as she makes her way over to Faith, taking her hand and pulling her down to sit next to her on the bed as if she's in some sort of trance. Faith doesn't say anything, doesn't feel like she's got much of a place to anyway. So she just waits for Buffy to collect her thoughts.

"That was fast," Buffy tells her quietly. "That was… that was all kinds of fast. Too fast."

"Little bit," Faith murmurs in agreement. It wasn't like she was against the whole second base thing, or was that third? She can never keep track. But for what Buffy wanted, for what she needed? That was too fast. Faith's starting to feel a little guilty. Alright, shit, a lot, and Buffy can feel it.

"It's not your fault," Buffy says quickly, trying to make sure she understands that. "It… it was mine. With the whole suggestion of the shower and then…" she trails off, her embarrassment back.

"Eavesdropping?" Faith suggests lightly.

"Yeah. That. That was definitely my fault," Buffy says quietly. She looks down at their intertwined hands, and for a second Faith thinks she's going to let go, but she doesn't.

"Wasn't all your fault," Faith admits. "Kinda put on a show…"

"Yes, yes you did," Buffy agrees, tilting her head to the side like she's trying to process that and then file it away under 'not for use'. She takes a breath and looks at her though. "Look, time, patience… they're still there. They're very much still there but I think it's kind of stupid if I keep pretending I don't… feel things. For you. Because hi, think we're sort of in between the realm of 'duh' and 'obvious' right now. And if I just drag it out we'll probably end up fighting and I really can't handle anymore angst and drama right now."

"…You askin' to be my girl, B?" Faith questions, every ounce of surprise she has about that showing in her voice. It's only been two days. Two damn days and… already? Things were moving much faster than she ever expected, but now that the connection between them runs so deep, it wasn't that hard to grasp.

Buffy's cheeks turn rosy and she shrugs a little. "I don't know. Maybe. I know commitment is something you're not known for, and I don't know how long it'll be till you can get me…" she chooses her words carefully, "…the way you want me. But. Yeah. I guess. I think I am. I mean I know I am. I am," she finishes, her rosy hue turning deeper.

But no matter how awkward that just was for Buffy, Faith was in fuckin' Disney Land. Her smile reaches from ear to ear and suddenly Buffy's swept up in a kiss that makes both their heads spin and the world dissolve. As they break, Faith whispers against her lips, "You should know by now that I've always been yours…"

"Yeah, well, you know me and the slow," Buffy says softly, but she smiles, her head tilting up to place a lingering kiss on Faith's lips. She purses her lips together a bit after she pulls away, and her eyes flicker up to meet hers. "So… breakfast?"

"Breakfast sounds good, I could eat a horse."

"Faith, you could eat a whole farm," Buffy responds with a laugh. She squeezes Faith's hand a bit and then looks down, chewing on her bottom lip a little. Faith just watches her, knowing she's trying to put whatever she's thinking into words. Her thumb brushes over the back of her hand and she takes a breath before looking up at her. "This is faster than I wanted to go," she tells her softly, honestly. "I'm terrified of another relationship, but I'm also terrified that if I take too long that you won't be around when I'm ready."

"Do you wanna… take it back a few steps then?" Faith asks, even though she hates the words coming out of her mouth since Buffy has been her girlfriend for maybe all of five minutes.

"No," Buffy says, giving her a small smile. "No, I can deal with this. I can. Just… don't hurt me, Faith…" Her voice breaks a little and she looks so vulnerable that Faith wants to make sure she never looks that way again.

"Hey," Faith says quietly, cupping her hand lightly with her cheek. "B, just think about it for a second. It's me, okay? The get some, get gone girl. The girl that ain't ever cared for a second who's anyone's name was that I was doing that night. But you? Buffy, I…" she chickens out though, not able to say the words to her face, "I have feelings for you. I've felt things for you for years now and yeah I'm probably gonna suck at this whole girlfriend deal, but you're the only person I ever want to do it with."

Buffy smiles a little. "You don't suck at it," she tells her. "You're actually doing really… _really_ well… " she leans up and her lips linger on Faith's for a second, making her taste a mix of Buffy and cherry lip gloss. "You're actually very sweet," Buffy whispers against her lips.

"Don't tell anyone," Faith says, a smirk lingers on her lips.

"Oh don't worry," Buffy says, her thumb stroking Faith's cheek lightly. "That secret is all mine."

**TBC…**


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N: Starting to get notifications now... they completely just flooded my inbox haha. Also, I found an end to this story, it'll be twenty chapters total :)**_

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

Before they went down to breakfast, Buffy pulls Faith to the side, wrapping her arms around her neck, "Hey… can you do me a favor?" She's got all kinds of puppy dog eyes going on, and Faith knows she should be wary of it, but the stupid part of her brain takes over.

Faith runs her fingers up the back of Buffy's shirt, teasing her skin a little. "Anything."

"Can we not…_ tell_ people just yet? This has all happened really fast and I think I need some time to get used to it before we deal with everyone else's reaction… okay? Please?" She gives her the sweetest smile in the world, and Faith feels herself melting against her better judgment.

"Sure, B. It's cool," she tells her, though she doesn't have the best feeling about it in the world. But if that's what Buffy needs then she's gonna try to give it to her. Try to do the whole being a good girlfriend thing.

Girlfriend. That's a mind fuck and a half. But it makes her smile.

"…But you know Willow knows already, right? And I'd put money on it that she already told Kennedy," Faith finishes, and Buffy sighs, leaning her head against her chest.

"Yeah, let me go stop that fun-train before it's leaked to every person in this building," she says, but doesn't get up for a moment. She just leans against her, and Faith tightens her grip, pulling her closer. Buffy takes a small breath, closing her eyes for a moment, just feeling how it feels for them to be together in this way.

"This is so screwed up," Faith mumbles, not being able to stop it from coming out of her mouth. Buffy looks up at her in question. "Just… us. This. Didn't ever really think that you'd be for the Faith lovin', is all. Still trying to get used to it too, I guess."

Buffy smiles, balling her shirt up in her fist and pulling her gently towards her. "I know what you mean. But…" her smile widens, a naughty hint behind the innocence. She leans up and whispers against her lips, "I think I like the Faith-lovin'."

"Yeah?" Faith asks with a dirty little smirk of her own, before Buffy squeals a bit as Faith picks her up, pressing her back against the wall and having Buffy's legs wrap around her waist. The heats of their mouths collide again, and Buffy's fingers tangle in Faith's hair as she's breathless against her lips.

It's brief, but passionate. As they pull apart Buffy tells her, her breathing a bit uneven, "Okay, horn-dog. Let me go talk to Willow and Kennedy. I'll meet you down there for breakfast."

Faith smiles, placing a light kiss on her lips. "Okay. But hurry up, cause you know I'll eat it all if you take too long." She gives her a taunting look before turning around and sauntering down the hall, only faintly hearing Buffy's call of,

"You better not!"

Being with Buffy wasn't easy, but it wasn't hard either. It took some time for Faith to completely wrap her mind around the fact that she could kiss her whenever she wanted now. That she didn't just have to feel it fester beneath the surface, threatening to explode. There was the tension, sure. They both felt it. After a good slay, the predator would come out in them and things bordered on going too far.

Buffy seemed to relax a little more about the thought of being with a woman; about being with Faith. She was a bit bipolar about it sometimes, but when it came down to it, in the end, she was always wrapped in Faith's arms because they both knew she should be there. The connection flowed through them deeper, making them feel more like one entity than ever before, making them feel like it was impossible for them to ever really be apart again. They talked about it and they both feared it might start to hurt physically, because as the connection deepened, it did so, on almost a psychic level. They could feel each other without even touching; they could even feel the other's emotions at times. It felt so good, it felt too damn good. Which is why they thought that if it turned bad that it would cause them real pain. Which actually ended up burdening them, because they tried way too hard to not get into fights now.

Which is why it's been two weeks since they've been dating, and Faith hasn't said one word about how she's feeling on the fact that Buffy hasn't told anyone about them yet. She could deal with the no sex thing. It sucked and it drove her insane but she understood why Buffy wanted their relationship to go slow. What she didn't understand though was why Buffy wanted her to be her dirty little secret.

Well, fuck. Alright. She did get that. She got that more than she'd like to admit. But it still didn't stop it from hurting.

The only time it seemed like they could ever be together was in the privacy of one of their rooms. Outside of it, Faith was just another Slayer, there to train the newbies. Buffy barely even looked at her during those times, and it would make the pain slowly crawl up her throat and suffocate her. But she dealt. She dealt because she didn't want the drama, didn't want the fights. She just wanted it to be good with her and Buffy, but the fact was… no matter how good it was behind closed doors, it still hurt like a fuckin' bitch when they were out in the world.

"What are you thinking about?" Buffy asks one night when Faith's lying on her side, Buffy behind her, as they watch TV. Buffy's been experimenting with the psychic level of the connection recently, trying to see how deep it goes and how far it extends. Faith can feel her playing with it as she asks, running her hand over her arm. She knows she's not touching her, yet she can still feel it. It's a warmth that spreads deep through her pores and runs wild in her bloodstream. Faith shivers a bit instinctively.

"Nothing," she says softly, not wanting to bring it up. She stares through the television absentmindedly, not focusing on it.

"You're a bad liar, you know," Buffy tells her gently. Faith can feel the connection start to weaken a bit as Buffy pulls her hand farther away. Then all of a sudden it stops all together.

"Can't feel it anymore," Faith says, ignoring her observation. Buffy lowers her hand slowly, until she can feel it again. "There, stop. What are we up to?"

"About six inches," Buffy tells her.

"Damn. Maybe we should tell Giles."

"He's just going to want to experiment on us," Buffy says, and Faith rolls over to face her, raising an eyebrow. Buffy rolls her eyes, "Well okay, maybe not _experiment_ in like an alien probe manner, but he's gonna want to test it with us. And what do we tell him about how it started? He's not gonna buy that it just happened all of a sudden."

"I don't know, maybe the truth," Faith mumbles before she can stop herself. Buffy looks down at her.

"Faith…"

"Forget it," Faith says, rolling back over to the look at the television. She can feel Buffy's worry and her fear, though only dully, in the background of her own emotions. She tries to ignore it. But the problem is that since Faith can slightly feel her emotions, it meant it worked in reverse too.

"You're mad at me," Buffy states. She knows. She can feel it.

"Don't worry about it."

"I _haven't _been worrying about it for days now. But it's starting to fester. When you start to get mad at yourself and don't know why, it's a little disconcerting." She runs her hand down Faith's arm, this time with physical contact. Faith doesn't turn around. She's starting to get a bit pissed and she can't stop it.

"You know why."

"Well what do you want me to do?" Buffy exclaims. "I'm just not ready to prance around and be like 'Hey world! I'm a great big giant lesbian with Faith!' I mean, I'm just not ready yet, okay?!" Her fear was flowing through her now, starting to seep way too deep into Faith, and so Faith gets up, moving away from her. "Where are you going!?"

"Really don't need your fear on top of my anger, thanks!" Faith snaps back at her.

"Well why do you think I'm shrieking?!" Buffy, well, shrieks. "Now you've got me pissed off! _Damnit!"_ She picks up one of Faith's pillows and throws it at her, but Faith really couldn't give a crap less about a soft object being chucked in her general direction so she just backs up, trying to get away from the emotional range. It extended much farther than the physical, and when they were about six feet from each other, they could feel the other start to slip away.

They just stare at each other.

"Don't you think we should talk to Giles about this, B? _Look at us._ What happens if we're in the middle of kicking some demon's ass and this shit starts happening? What if he's got you down, a knife to your throat, and you're scared? And there I fucking am, the only other _damn _person who's gonna get you out of that, but instead I'm hit with both your fear_ and _mine? Think about it! We need to fix this shit, or learn how to control it!"

"Well I don't want Giles to know we're getting naked together!" Buffy yells, and the intensity makes the boundaries push, making them both back up.

"But we're _not _getting naked with each other!" Faith yells back, her frustration with that matter becoming all too clear. It's been three weeks since she's gotten laid. She hasn't gone that long since she lost her virginity.

"Oh, and that is what this is all about, right?" Buffy snaps. "I don't give you a piece of my ass and you get all pissed off!"

"I'm not mad at you because of that! It's frustrating as fuck, okay, yes, but that's not why I'm pissed! Fuck, B, how would you feel if someone you were in love with hides you like their dirty, skanky laundry!?"

"That's not how I think of you!" Buffy says, her eyes widening from the shock of that. She gets up, apparently feeling the need to prove that, but as she walks towards her their emotions start mixing.

"Stop! Stop, Buffy! Back _up!"_ Faith yells, backing up herself, not being able to handle the intensity of it. She was angry, scared, frustrated, worried… upset? Over loss. No, maybe it was fear of loss. Upset about… _damnit she can't think!_ It's just way too much to handle, and when Buffy starts to feel it too she backs up onto the bed again.

It's never been like this. The emotions of each other have never been this overwhelming. Maybe it was because fear, anger; they were dominant emotions. Almost like how brunettes dominate over blondes in the gene pool. Brown eyes dominate blue. Something like that, Faith wasn't sure. Lust… lust had been a dominating one for them before too, but it never got this out of control.

"Faith please…" Buffy says softly, almost begging. It makes Faith snap out of it and look at her. "I don't think of you like that, you have to believe me. I'm just scared of what everyone's going to say."

"Buffy, your sister already thinks we're getting horizontal with each other, and that was before we even started dating. Xander already stated he didn't want to know. Willow and Kennedy _already_ know. The only people you're scared to know about it is Giles and Angel."

At the mention of Angel's name, Buffy freezes. Yeah, what she fuckin' thought.

"Exactly," Faith says off of her reaction, and she turns towards the door. Fuck this. She's out.

"No, Faith! Don't leave, please," Buffy calls out after her, not getting up for fear of another emotional rollercoaster. Faith knows she should keep going, but she stops. Probably because she's so hopelessly in love with this woman that it effects her storming out dramatically ability.

Faith crosses her arms over her chest, "You got thirty seconds. Make it good." Buffy doesn't say anything, trying to think. "Fifteen," Faith warns.

"Alright fine we'll tell Giles!" she bursts out suddenly. Faith crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. "And… everyone else…" she mumbles.

"Thank you."

Buffy doesn't say anything; she just starts picking at the down comforter self consciously. Faith hesitates before she comes over to her, "You still mad?" she asks carefully.

"No," Buffy mumbles. "You were the one mad. I was the one terrified, remember?"

"It's gonna be fine, Buffy. I promise," Faith tells her as she slowly makes her way back over to her. She can start to feel some of Buffy's fear, but it's not taking over. More like in the back of her mind. So she sits down next to her and brushes a piece of hair behind the blonde's ear. Buffy still won't look at her, and Faith doesn't know what to say. She knows it might not be okay and she knew she had no right to promise her that. She knows that there are some people that are still wary about her. Angel isn't one of them, but he's a problem on an entirely different matter. Faith's pretty sure he's still in love with her, at least on some level.

But there was something else wrong with Buffy right now. Not just the telling people thing. She was upset about something, Faith could feel it. "B?" she asks carefully, stroking her hair a little. "What's got you upset?"

Buffy picks at the comforter for a little bit, and when she speaks she doesn't look at her. "That was the first time you ever told me you were in love with me. With you saying the actual words. To my face._ And it was in the middle of a fight."_ She looks absolutely distraught over it. Faith didn't even realize she did it.

Shit. Way for her to ruin a moment.

"Buffy…" she says softly, not really knowing what she's supposed to do. She puts her finger on her chin, making her look at her, and she decides to go with her instinct. She caresses her cheek gently, looks her in the eyes, and says, "I'm in love with you, Buffy. I'm so fucking in love with you that I don't know what to do with myself sometimes. You're absolutely everything to me. Without you I feel completely lost, like I'm missing a part of myself…" she leans her forehead to hers gently, and she can see Buffy's eyes start to water. "No, no, don't cry, come on B…"

But a tear slides down Buffy's cheek. Faith leans down and kisses it away and then Buffy just _breaks._ She's sobbing now, and Faith has no idea what to do. She didn't want her to cry! She wraps her in her arms, holding her close as Buffy soaks her shoulder. "Shh… come on baby, don't cry…" but the mention of the word 'baby', a name Faith had never called her before, just made her cry more.

And then lips are on hers. She's sobbing into her mouth but kissing her with so much passion that Faith's pretty sure she has no idea what's going on, but just goes with it. She has a vague feeling it could be happy tears, but she's never really had them herself, or seen anyone else have them for that matter, and this just kind of seemed like regular distraught crying. But Buffy's arms are around her neck, her tears are splashing on Faith's cheeks, and Faith can't do anything else but just kiss her back and hold her tighter.

But then Buffy's hands are under her shirt, roaming her stomach. She starts to push into her deeper, her breathing labored from the crying and the passion. Her hands grab Faith's shirt and starts to pull it up over her head, but Faith stops her. Buffy pulls back, looking at her confused.

"Buffy… you don't gotta put out just cause I said I'm in love with you," Faith tells her.

"I'm… I'm not…" Buffy says, but the way she said it makes it sound like she isn't that sure. Faith raises an eyebrow skeptically and Buffy sighs, sniffing as she wipes the rest of her tears away with the back of her hand. "Okay fine, I was. But you made such a beautiful speech, what am I supposed to do? I'm not ready to say it back yet…"

"I know," Faith says. "But you don't gotta fuck me cause of it. Not if you're not ready. I might need it real bad but I ain't gonna let you do something you aren't sure you wanna do."

"Faith," Buffy says, disapproval in her voice. "When we have sex, we are not going to 'fuck'. That's such an ugly word."

Faith rolls her eyes. Of all the things to comment on, of course it's that.

But Buffy isn't put off by the eye roll. She just gives her a sexy smile and strokes her face lightly. "When we have sex it's going to be romantic… with the lighting, and the perfect place, and with all the slow and the passionate… it'll be—" she's going off into her own fantasy happy place, Faith can tell.

But Faith interrupts, "So wait. You want me to like, cover the bed in rose petals and put out candles and shit like that?" She smirks a little, but Buffy hits her on the arm. Hard. Faith winces.

"Don't laugh!"

"Ow, I'm not _laughing,"_ Faith says, rubbing her arm. "Just I ain't… done all that before. Do you need Barry Manilow playing in the background too? I'm just trying to take notes, here."

Buffy scoffs. "_No._ We don't need Barry involved. I don't know. There doesn't need to be rose petals. Or candles, though they would be nice. I don't know, I just… I want it to be special."

Faith doesn't understand that. "It'll already _be_ special because I'll be having sex with _you."_

"Really?" Buffy asks, in this far too girly and wispy manner. She's smiling now like Faith said the sweetest thing in the world when it was only just the truth. Faith blinks.

"Yeah, duh."

Buffy hits her again. Is she in an abusive relationship now? Jeez.

"Ow! Stop doing that!"

"Well you keep ruining moments, asshole."

"Hey, I told you I ain't done the girlfriend thing before. I'm trying. Give me some credit," Faith says, rubbing her arm again. Buffy sighs, almost a bit dramatically, and takes Faith's arm.

"Come here, big baby," she says, then starts kissing where she hit her. Okay, Faith likes that. She watches her place feather light kisses all the way up her arm, then comes in to capture Faith's lips softly. "Sorry," she whispers. "I know you're trying."

"See? Just give me my props where I'm due and I'm five by five."

Buffy narrows her eyes. "You know I almost hit you again, right? Stop with the snark."

"Yes, Ma'am," Faith says sarcastically, but she's smiling. Buffy smiles too and kisses her again. Lightly, but it shot so much feeling down to Faith's core.

"Good girl."

**TBC…**


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

Giles is compulsively cleaning his glasses.

Buffy looks mortified, her face turning a deeper shade of pink after each pace that Giles does. Faith seems to be the only one who's relaxed. She's got her feet propped up on the table, slouching a bit as chews on a piece of a gum and absentmindedly plays with her hair while she waits for someone to say _something._

"Well," Giles says after about a full minute and a half of silence. "That's… interesting." He blinks a bit and situates the glasses back on his nose. He looks over the two women. "And you're say it's getting worse?"

"We fought earlier and we couldn't be within six feet of each other without feelin' it," Faith responds, then snaps her gum loudly. Giles looks at her disapprovingly, then his eyes land on her feet that are on the table. He makes his annoying clucking noise, and Faith makes a face. She takes her feet off the table.

"Six feet?" Giles asks, looking surprised. "Can you feel each other's emotions currently?"

"Don't have to, to know B's embarrassed. I can just look at her for that," Faith says, while Buffy throws her a glare. Giles narrows his eyes and Faith sighs. "But yeah, I can feel it. It's like hidden beneath the surface. Like mine are stacked on top and hers just are just… I dunno. In the back of my mind or something."

"Buffy?" Giles asks, turning to her and asking the same question.

"Faith's…" she stops, concentrating. Then she makes a face and looks at her, "Seriously? Like now is really the time."

"It ain't my fault, look at what you're wearing," Faith says with a huff as she nods to Buffy's skirt that showed off her fantastic legs. Besides, like she can really control when she gets horny. It's been three weeks. _Three fucking weeks._ It's like a constant thing now.

"Oh lord," Giles says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Alright, let me be the first to request that we move along from that," he says, starting to pace again. "This… started when you two became…" he makes an uncomfortable face as he finishes, "Intimate?"

"We're not intimate," both of them say at the same time, though Buffy's was embarrassed and Faith's was annoyed. They both look at each other.

Buffy glares at her for her tone before turning back to Giles. "It started when we started getting closer… emotionally. Though the physical part started first."

Giles looks at her. "There's a physical aspect?"

"Yeah, we can feel each other physically without actually touching. Pretty damn cool," Faith says with a smirk. She leans back in her chair and puts her feet back up on the table, but Giles walks by her and pushes them back off. She looks disgruntled and snaps her bubble gum just to make his eye twitch.

She knows she's not usually this moody, but it has been awhile since she's gotten laid. Tends to suck the fun out of life.

She's been itchin' to try out the physical part of their connection on a more intimate level though. Even without it she's sure it'd be the best sex she's ever had in her life, but with it? Fuckin' _mind blowing. _She licks her bottom lip a little as her imagination runs wild with that little scenario.

"Jesus," Buffy says, and slaps Faith's arm. "Stop!" she moves away from her for good measure, but Faith can notice she's already gotten a little flush. Must have been one strong wave.

"Sorry."

Giles ignores that interaction. "Are you able to push against it?" Both Buffy and Faith look at him, confused. "Meaning," he clarifies, "If Buffy was to touch you on a psychic level, would she be able to move you if she pushed against this… barrier, for a lack of a better word." They both blink at him.

"We've never tried that," Buffy says. Giles looks at her expectantly, and she sighs a little as she gets up, coming over to Faith. But she stops and requests, "Can you _please_ try to stop feeling that way for a second?"

"Put on some clothes then," Faith says flatly. Yeah, she's moody.

"I _am _wearing clothes!"

"Girls," Giles says in a tired tone, looking at them both like he has no idea how the two of them are surviving dating each other. Faith's not sure either. "Faith, try to concentrate on something else, please."

Faith sighs heavily, trying to focus on food instead. When she seems to have a better grasp of that than her other needs, Buffy makes her way over to her, "Hold up your hands." Faith does what she says and Buffy holds up hers about six inches away. She could feel her. Then she pushes… and her hands collide with Faith's. She looks up at Giles and shrugs.

"Concentrate, Buffy," he chides her.

Buffy rolls her eyes a bit but hovers her hands above Faith's again. She closes her eyes and looks more like she's constipated then concentrating… and then she pushes. Their hands collide again.

"I feel like I'm playing one of those kids' games," Faith says with a smirk. "Like that Mary Macks thing." She smirks as she hears herself saying that and corrects herself. "Mary macks on things…" she laughs. Buffy glares. Alright, fine, that was juvenile, but it was funny.

"Miss Mary Mack," Buffy corrects pointedly. Giles sighs.

"Whatever. Same thing."

"Are either of you aware if any of the other slayers are experiencing this sort of thing?" he asks them. Both of them shrug and he nods. He paces a little as he thinks. "Since there is no other known case of there being two slayers, let alone hundreds, maybe thousands of them now, this has never come about. There may be some sort of prophecy that—"

Both Buffy and Faith groan at the word prophecy.

"—speaks of this happening, but I will have to do some research. I'm sure Wolfram & Hart's resources are vastly different than the Council's. I will ask Wesley to help me comb through them. In the meantime," he says, and looks at the two girls pointedly. "I would like you both to practice some meditation and some yoga to learn to center your own emotions. This could prove to be very dangerous if it gets out of hand when you are slaying, and you must both learn to control it before you go out on patrol again. Also, I feel it would be wise if you two were to hold off on taking your…" he looks at the two of them like he still can't believe he's saying this, "_relationship_ to the next level."

Buffy and Faith just stare at him for a moment.

Then Faith asks, with all the annoyance and aggravation clear in her voice, "Are you forbidding us to have _sex?"_

Giles decides to clean his glasses again after that blunt statement. "No, I am not forbidding either of you from doing anything. Merely suggesting strongly. If it gets worse the closer you become emotionally, who knows what could happen if you…" he doesn't finish his sentence, instead he just awkwardly clears his throat.

Faith is seething_. Seriously?_ It ain't like she's expecting Buffy to jump in the sack with her any time soon but who knows how long it'll take for them to control it?

"Wait," Buffy says, realizing something, feeling Faith's anger but directing it towards something else. "We can't _patrol? _Who's going to train the girls in the field?!"

"We can hold off on field training for the time being," Giles tells her. "Angel and his team have been doing quite well without us thus far and there is no pressing demonic matter at the moment that we have to deal with."

Both slayers look at each other. No slaying and no sex? They're going to go insane, and both of them know it.

Giles doesn't seem to notice their looks though; he's lost in his own thoughts. He's almost halfway out the door, apparently in desperate need to see Wesley, which Faith could make all sorts of dirty jokes in her head about but she won't because it might just be a little too gross. "Girls," he says, turning back to them, remembering they were there. "I do strongly advise you to work on this, and to heed my warnings. I will try to find whatever I can on this situation as quickly as I can, I promise you."

When he was gone, both girls just stare at each other. Finally Faith says, "We're gonna go fuckin' crazy."

"Yup."

Buffy didn't immediately go see Angel afterwards, but Faith didn't care. They both were too frustrated at the moment about how things turned out. Faith walked into her room without a word and Buffy followed suit. After Faith collapsed on her bed face first, Buffy came over to her and started running her hand lightly up Faith's back.

Faith mumbles something into the pillow.

"What?"

Faith turns her head to the side, sighing, staring at the wall. "I'm gonna go nuts. Not fuckin' joking. No slay, no sex. No damn release. Just take my fuckin' life while you're at it."

"Relax," Buffy tells her as she shifts on the bed, getting up and then sitting back down on Faith's ass. Faith raises an eyebrow until Buffy starts kneading the tension out of Faith's shoulders. "You're frustration is killing me, so just… breathe. Relax please."

Faith tries to breathe, tries to relax. But even with the connection flowing deep into her from Buffy's touch and her warmth, she can still feel it fester. So can Buffy. "Damnit, Faith, you're making me…" she sighs in frustration and Faith can feel her grind herself against her ass slightly. It automatically makes Faith push her ass back harder into her, and Buffy lets out a soft groan. "Christ, that wasn't helping…"

But now Faith's breathing has picked up, her own lust mixing with Buffy's. She pushes her ass back into her again, grinding against Buffy's panties as her skirt rides up, and the older slayer gasps softly, her grip tightening on Faith's shoulder. "We should… we should…" Buffy tries to get out. "Um, maybe second base… just to relieve some tension…?"

That's all Faith needed to hear.

She turns around so fast that Buffy almost flew off of her, but Faith grabs her quickly, pulling her in so their lips crash together in a heated kiss. Faith's hand wraps around the bottom of Buffy's shirt as she lays back down, pulling the blonde on top of her. Buffy's fingers find her stomach and as they curl into claws, she scratches down her skin hard enough to make Faith growl against her lips. "Second base," Buffy reminds her breathlessly against her lips as Faith gets a little too hands on with her ass, slipping her hands under Buffy's skirt and pulling her closer.

"Then take off your shirt," Faith tells her as she withdraws her hands and finds the hem of Buffy's shirt, helping her lift it over her head. She discards it to the floor like nothing more than wasted material as Buffy forcefully takes off Faith's. Bras are off and hands are wandering almost immediately, and both of them have the fleeting thought that this can possibly go too far but neither of them can find it in themselves to care.

The problem with Faith's insatiable lust is that it flows through Buffy with no remorse, threatening to make her forget her resolve temporarily. But Faith's trying to remember that they can't have sex, that Buffy doesn't want to go that far this fast, that Giles told them they shouldn't, and that the only reason Buffy's doing this right now is for her. But her thoughts are battling her instincts, and a slayer is more of an animalistic being during times like this, so her instincts are starting to dominate her thoughts.

Faith moans hard as Buffy's teeth sink into her neck, and her hands grab onto Buffy's bare back, her nails threatening to break the skin. But it only seems to encourage Buffy more as she bites her harder, playing with the line that separates pain and pleasure. But then her teeth rake down her neck and she's kissing her shoulder, down her chest. She stops for a second, her eyes connecting with Faith's before she dips her head down and wraps her lips around one of Faith's nipples softly.

"Oh god, B…" Faith pants out, feeling the wetness between her thighs become practically unbearable. "Shit, I think this is making it worse…" They clearly didn't think this plan of action out very thoroughly.

But Buffy isn't thinking at all, or maybe is thinking way more than both of them when she grabs Faith's hand, slipping it between their bodies and into Faith's jeans. She lifts her head up to whisper against her lips, "Still second base as long as I'm not the one touching you, or seeing it…"

That turns Faith on more than words can even begin to comprehend and she gives Buffy a dirty smirk as she leans in, brushing her lips up against the blondes ear. She can feel her shiver as she whispers, "Only if you cum with me…" she takes Buffy's hand and slowly guides it into her panties as she lifts up her skirt, hearing her breathing become ragged with anticipation. Faith drags her lips down her throat, kissing her softly on her jugular before bringing them back to tease her neck again before finding their resting place on her lips. "Fuck yourself for me, Buffy," Faith breathes out, her pupils dilating from her own words. Buffy can barely breathe.

She looks nervous at the thought of doing it in front of Faith, but after Faith slides her fingers over her soaked clit and moans, letting her head fall back to rest against the pillow, Buffy leans against her, her breath tickling her neck as she starts to pleasure herself. Her moans are the sexiest sounds Faith has ever heard in her life, almost like music to Faith's personal erotic soundtrack. Faith gasps as she applies more pressure and turns her head to collide her lips with Buffy's again, their ragged breathing mixing with their groans of pleasure that dance on the other's tongue.

The heat between the two of them has escalated, their burning passion running so deep it was almost as if they were connected on an entirely different plane of existence. It's not so much about the physical pleasure rather than the emotional intensity, and after they break from their kiss they look into each other's eyes as they continue to grind softly against each other, their own fingers taking the keys to the ride and speeding off down the freeway.

"Jesus," Faith gasps, never feeling something that ran this deep, especially something when they aren't even technically having sex. She buries her face in the older girls neck as she shudders from the wave of pleasure that's coursing through her, hearing Buffy's quiet moans in her ear, and she rubs herself harder, faster, as she tries to step on the gas and drive right over the fuckin' cliff.

"God, Faith…" Buffy pants out, and hearing Buffy say her name in that tone is what pushes her over the edge. She screams, muffled into the blonde's neck, as her orgasm washes through her. It pours out through every fiber of her being as she feels it from the tips of her toes to the ends of her hair. She's breathless as she comes down, still hearing Buffy bring herself so close to the edge that she's whimpering with every breath.

Faith brings her lips to her ear as she whispers huskily, "I can't wait till I get to taste you… lick you from the inside out and have you cum in my mouth…" Buffy moans and her grip tightens on Faith, the brunette laughing low in her ear as she continues, "I want to feel every inch of your skin, fucking devour you whole and spit you back out again. Latch on and mark you as mine… cause you are mine, Buffy. You're all mine… _say it!"_

"_Fuck,_ Faith!" Buffy screams. "Oh my _god!_ I'm yours! I'M YOURS!" She lets out another scream and Faith can feel her whole body tense, and as she falls over into her own pit of ecstasy, Faith can feel it humming underneath the surface, making her gasp and close her eyes, panting heavily into Buffy's ear as she has another small orgasm.

They both lay there for awhile; Buffy sprawled on top of Faith, both of them just trying to breathe. Well, they just heavily bent rule number one. Whoops.

"I gotta get out of these pants," Faith tells her finally, the wetness not feeling so good when its contained. She squirms a bit, which makes Buffy do the same.

"Yeah," she sits up, looking down at Faith for a minute before she kisses her softly. She gives her a shy smile, her cheeks turning a bit pink before she gets up, walking over to Faith's closet. She grabs a pair of Faith's jeans and underwear without asking, not that Faith really cares though, and walks into the bathroom to change.

Faith gets herself off the bed and does the same, and after they're both in clean clothes, they make their way over to the bed. Buffy crawls on top of her and lays her head on Faith's chest. They're both silent for a long time, just enjoying the feeling of each other.

Then Buffy says softly, "Close your eyes." Faith doesn't question why, she just does what she says. Buffy rolls off of her, and then Faith can feel her hands on her. But not physically, psychically. "Can you feel this?" she asks. Faith nods as Buffy moves her hand farther away. "How about now?" Faith nods again, and then Buffy moves her hand again. "Now?" Faith shakes her head, she lost her there.

"Shit."

"What?" Faith asks as she opens her eyes, looking at her. Buffy doesn't usually swear.

"Ten inches."

"Shit," Faith repeats, looking at her worried. Maybe that wasn't the best of ideas, now that they think about it. Four inches just by doing that? They both look at each other for a minute. "I vote we don't tell Giles," Faith says.

"Motion passed," Buffy says in voice that dictates finality. She sighs and lies back down next to Faith, holding her closer. "We should probably start working on controlling it soon."

"Agreed."

"Like, in twenty minutes. After I'm done laying on you."

"Thirty," Faith tries to bargain. Buffy giggles and looks up at her, kissing her softly on the lips.

"Deal."

**TBC…**


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N: Sorry, this should have been posted yesterday but the whole site is having an issue with the Document Manager (still is actually, you would think they would at least address that on the main page...) But someone on Yahoo Answers figured out a way around it. If you just edit a previous document and copy and paste the new chapter in it, it should work. So I hope that helps anyone else who's trying to post new stories/chapters right now too.  
**_

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

"Stop looking at my boobs."

Faith looks up from Buffy's chest to meet her eyes, but all she's greeted with is the sight of Buffy's eyes being closed. They're sitting cross-legged across from each other, attempting to meditate or whatever. Faith's got too much ADD for all that. "How the hell did you do that?" Faith asks, dumbfounded.

Buffy's lips linger in a small smile. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Cut the crap. Seriously, what did you do? Are you like, reading my thoughts now? Cause that'd be a whole mess of fucked up."

Buffy opens her eyes, but only to roll them. She stares at the other girl across from her. "No, it was still you're feelings. I've noticed whenever you look at my boobs you get somewhere between horny and homesick. Which, by the way, I still find a bit creepy. Don't mommy fetish me, please."

"Okay number one, fuck you. Number two, fuck _off._ I was just joking before, I ain't got some twisted mommy thing goin' on," Faith retorts. Buffy just raises an eyebrow at her skeptically. "Seriously, Twinkie. I might never have had the best mom growing up but it's not like I'm looking for one in _you."_

"Whatever. We need to focus, Faith, so can you please close your eyes and concentrate? You're starting to make me feel annoyed and defensive. You project more than I do."

Faith scoffs, but closes her eyes. She tries to concentrate on controlling her own emotions, but it was difficult. She's never been one to hide what she feels. Well, alright, that's a load of bullcrap. She hid her feelings for Buffy for five damn years. She tried to think about that, tried to think of it as protecting herself from getting hurt. If she could find a way to block out these feelings, then neither of them could end up hurting each other. Besides, if she was to be honest with herself, this feeling each other thing scared her a little. What if she starts feeling that Buffy's getting second thoughts? Not that she's had second thoughts yet, or at least none that she could feel. But she would never want to feel something like that lingering. There are just some things you don't want to know until you're told. She tried to concentrate, tried to focus… and then her ADD kicks in and she finds her mind wandering back to what they did about an hour ago on the bed.

Buffy sighs dramatically, "Damnit, Faith. I think it was working for a second! Now you've got me all…" she shifts a bit, uncomfortable. Faith looks at her.

She was about to retort with some smart ass remark, but then it dawns on her. It did work for a second because she didn't feel Buffy either. If only for a minute. "Wait, it worked?"

"I think so, at least until you got all sixteen year old boy on me. Can't you just _focus?_ I swear you have the attention span of a gnat."

But something's weird, because she can tell Buffy's annoyed but she realizes that she can't feel it. "B… you're annoyed right?"

"Obviously! I mean, this is important, and your mind is always wandering off to—"

"I can't feel you," Faith says, interrupting her. Buffy blinks, stopping her train of thought.

"Are you sure?"

That aggravates Faith. She doesn't like the way she said it, like she can't figure shit out my herself and needs to get her homework double checked before handing it in. "Well now I don't know cause now you've got me annoyed for asking stupid questions," Faith snaps.

"I am not asking stupid questions!" Buffy yells, her aggravation mixing with Faith's. But Faith doesn't want this to keep fueling until they get into some huge fight so when Buffy's about to yell at her again, she leans in, covering her mouth with hers. Buffy blinks, surprised, but she kisses her back softly. Faith can feel the tension begin to melt away, and when she pulls away, Buffy breathes a little. "Okay, better."

Faith smiles, sitting back down across from her. They sit in silence for a little while, just looking at each other. "Can you feel me now?" Buffy asks carefully.

"No," Faith says automatically. Then she retracts as she thinks, "Wait, yes. A little. Barely though, like I have to concentrate on it. Why are you jealous?"

"Because you care barely feel mine now and yours are still going full throttle at me."

"Yeah, but is it cause you've blocked your emotions from me or that I blocked you out?" Faith asks. That makes Buffy confused. She blinks.

"I have no idea."

"Well what were you concentrating on?"

Buffy looks away, her eyes finding something apparently more interesting on the carpet to stare at. "You know, just, making it stop."

"You're a liar."

Buffy snaps her head to look back at her, "I thought you couldn't feel me regularly now. Stop digging!"

"I'm _not,"_ Faith tells her, annoyance coloring her voice again. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out when you lie though."

"Says the Queen Liar!"

Damnit. Faith leans in and captures Buffy's lips with hers again; just trying to stop the annoyance train that keeps escalating once she starts it. Buffy relaxes and so does she. When she pulls back, Buffy takes a breath. "Sorry."

"It's alright," Faith tells her. She leans back. "So what were you thinking about?"

Buffy looks down and starts picking at the carpet. "Pizza," she mumbles, and Faith laughs. Buffy snaps her head up, "Hey! I'm hungry, okay?"

Faith stops laughing though when she realizes what that means. "Wait, so I was the one who blocked you?"

Buffy shrugs, "I guess so. What were you thinking about?"

"Protecting myself."

"What?" Buffy asks, confusement written on her features. "From what? _Me?_ I'm not going to hurt you, Faith…"

"Nah, B, it's not—" Faith starts, then sighs. She shakes her head and leans back on her elbows. "I dunno. I guess I just don't like this. I mean, I don't want to know what you're feeling. I don't want to know everything all the time. It's like opening your presents before Christmas. Or, on the flip side, knowing what day you're gonna die."

"Because that's not morbid and dramatic at all," Buffy states, but it's sad. "Damnit," she says, "Now you've got me upset. Why are you so bipolar?"

"I'm not! I'm just… shit, Buffy, I don't know. I'm just kind of scared of it, I guess…"

"I'm not getting scared from you, I'm getting upset," Buffy tells her quietly. She picks at the carpet more before she sighs and lays down on it. Faith looks at her for a minute before lying down next to her.

"Hey," Faith says softly, and Buffy's eyes look up to meet hers. Faith leans in and kisses her forehead softly. "Maybe it's just… more immediate emotions that you get. Not what's underneath them. I don't know." She sighs and brushes a piece of blonde hair out of Buffy's eyes. "You wanna take a break?" Buffy nods softly, a little smile on her face.

Buffy takes her hand in hers and holds it close to her chest. "You know what I'm getting from you now?" she whispers.

"What?"

"Love," Buffy tells her softly. She brings Faith's hand up to kiss it softly, each finger. Faith can't help the smile that's threatening to take over. "But wouldn't that be underneath too?" Buffy asks her quietly. "Always there, under the surface? So I don't see how I can be getting that right now…"

Faith shrugs. "I don't know, it was just a theory. Ain't never been the best at this shit," she tells her. She leans in and kisses her softly. "But I do love you, Buffy…" she whispers against her lips. She can feel Buffy smile against them.

"I'm glad I'm with you, Faith," she tells her softly. Faith grins and rolls Buffy over so she can get on top of her, kissing her softly. Buffy runs her fingers through her hair, pulling her closer. It was chaste; innocent, and yet there was so much passion behind it. But it wasn't a kiss to lead further, it was just a kiss to kiss, and somehow it made it more comfortable, without the threatening impending doom that hovers over their head if they get too bouncy with each other, or whatever.

There's a knock on the door.

"Go away!" the both yell, then look at each other and giggle.

The door opens and Kennedy walks in. Faith scowls and buries her head in Buffy's chest as Kennedy just raises an eyebrow at the two slayers on the floor. "There's a bed for that, you know."

Buffy sighs and sits up, taking Faith with her. "Don't tell me the worlds going to end," Buffy says dryly.

"About to. There's a big fight downstairs," Kennedy tells them with a click of her tongue. Annoyance. "Giles decided to let us all in on the little fact that just because_ you guys _have an issue, we all get to be punished."

"Great," Buffy groans, standing up to go play mommy to all the girls.

_Christ._ Maybe she did have a mommy fetish. Alright, she's gotta stop that one in her tracks. That really is kind of fucked up.

Kennedy looks at Faith curiously when she notices the look on her face. "What's wrong with _you?"_

"Trust me, you don't want to know," Buffy tells her as she walks out the door. She does give one last lingering look at Faith though, and did she just detect a hint of a smirk? It's gone before she can really process it though, and she finds herself following Kennedy and Buffy out the door, down into the gym where there currently was a screaming match going on.

"Girls, girls, _please!"_ Giles tries, but it's not working. All of the slayers keep screaming at him, among themselves, some of them screaming just to scream.

_"HEY!"_ Buffy screams, but only a couple people seem to pay attention to the entrance of the two head slayers.

_"SHUT THE FUCK UP!_" Faith yells, hitting the wall for effect. Both sounds echo through the room, and everyone falls silent. Buffy looks at her, a bit frustrated with her methods, but she couldn't deny that it worked, so she let it go. She walks over to stand next to Giles, Faith following behind her.

"Look, I know you guys aren't happy with the situation, and frankly, neither are we," Buffy starts. "And I know you're frustrated, but Giles is right. Without us, it just isn't safe for you guys to go out. You haven't had enough training. If you guys came across that nest that we tackled the other night, do you really think you could have defeated them without us? We all had a tough fight to begin with."

"We're slayers too!" a new (and rather mouthy) girl, Mercedes, pipes up. "We can handle ourselves! It's not our fault that you guys decided to screw each other and throw the whole world out of balance! How is this _fair?"_

Whoa. What?

"You better watch your fucking mouth before someone puts you down," Faith snaps, advancing on the girl. Buffy puts a hand on her shoulder, stopping her, but it's brief. She can feel her anger at the girl, and it takes over.

Suddenly she's the one in front of Faith. Mercedes backs up as she yells, "What Faith and I do is none of your business!"

"Whoa, B, hold up," Faith says, realizing what's going on and pulling her back towards her quickly. She wraps her arms around her stomach, holding her against her, trying to calm herself to calm Buffy down. "It's cool; she's just a mouthy bitch."

"Who are you calling a bitch?!"

That makes Faith take her arms off of Buffy, and suddenly both of them are advancing on her.

"Buffy! Faith!" Giles exclaims, furious. "Get a hold of yourselves!"

Faith growls, but pulls Buffy back to her again, trying to control herself. This was much easier when Buffy was the one who was controlling her anger issues, not following suit. She pulls her back against her chest, holding her close and whispering in her ear, "Alright, we're cool, B. We're cool. Breathe baby…"

Buffy starts to relax a little in her arms, not caring about who's witnessing their little intimate moment. All that mattered was that they deal with this right now. Faith strokes Buffy's back softly, and when she can tell she's okay, she looks over at Giles helplessly. Because that's what they were now. Buffy was a slave to Faith's emotions, and Faith had emotional issues. Not a recipe for anything good.

"Angel," Giles says suddenly, and it makes both Buffy and Faith look up in surprise. They had been too busy with everything that they didn't notice the brooding vampire in the doorway. _Shit, how long has he been there?_ "Perhaps you have an alternative solution?" The desperation in Giles' voice is clear.

Angel is staring at the two slayers though, who both seem to be frozen in place. Faith eventually gets a hold of herself though and slips her arms away from Buffy, who coughs awkwardly as she steps back. _Damnit._ That's not how either of them wanted him finding out. "Uh," Angel starts, before tearing his eyes away from the two of them and looking at Giles. "I can take the girls out on patrol for a couple nights. It's been quiet around here anyway."

"But he's a _vampire,"_ another girl, Lacy, says with disgust.

"He's got a soul!" Both Buffy and Faith yell. They both look at each other, then over to Angel, who's not looking at them.

"Lacy, I will advise you to remember that this vampire has taken you in," Giles childes her. "He deserves your respect _and _your thanks ." Lacy mumbles something that no one caught, but sounded like an apology.

"Alright, then it's settled," Giles says. "And while you are out with Angel you _all _are to listen to him. If he says run, you run. If he says hide, you hide. I will not have any casualties because someone here is too stubborn to listen to a vampire." He looks at Buffy and Faith, "And I must talk to the two of you. _Now,"_ he stresses.

They both look over at Angel, only to find that he's not standing there anymore. They follow Giles out of the room, feeling an awful lot like two naughty teenagers about to get scolded. When they've found a private room, Giles closes the door and rounds on them, "What have you two been _doing?"_

"Nothing," they both say at the same time.

"Don't lie to me; your emotions were completely out of hand! It's gotten worse. _What did you do?"_

Both of them look down, guilty.

"It has been three hours! Three hours since I last saw you! What were you _thinking?"_ Giles exclaims, furious that the two of them ran out to defy him without a moment's hesitation.

"We didn't have sex," Faith tries to defend, but is silenced by one look from Giles. She suddenly feels sixteen again.

"Well whatever you both did was_ not_ smart," Giles scolds them.

"We also tried to meditate!" Buffy chimes in, just trying to get Giles to stop looking at them like that. "And Faith doesn't feel me anymore!" It really was sad how much they both looked and sounded like kids who were getting scolded by their parent.

That makes Giles stop his lecture for a second. "Is that true?" he asks Faith. She nods slowly. But then he's back on to his lecture. "Well, even with that accomplishment, you see what you've done, I take it? Buffy is nearly dominated by your emotions, Faith. You two need to learn to control yourselves. As hard as it may be to believe, I_ do_ understand what it's like being wrapped up in a new relationship, but there are more important things to think about it."

They both just nod silently, giving up on defending themselves. They both knew they screwed up.

Giles takes a breath, looking them over. "Now, how did you block Buffy out, Faith?"

"I don't know, I just didn't want to feel her emotions anymore, I guess," Faith says, shrugging. "But I can feel her… if I want to. I just have to focus on it."

"Interesting," Giles says. "But I need you to dig deeper than just not wanting to feel her. Think."

Faith sighs, leaning against the wall as she crosses her arms over her chest. She shrugs a bit, "I dunno, guess I fear it a little bit. I don't want to know."

"Fear," Giles repeats to himself. "Fear… that may be it. Fear is a dominating emotion… it's an instinctual emotion…" he seems to be talking to himself more than them.

"But Faith said it might be because it's always there, under the surface, which is why I can't feel it," Buffy suggests, just trying to throw something in for consideration. Giles just nods, pacing a bit as he thinks. Both girls look at each other and then back at him.

"No," Giles says finally. "Faith is right, but I think I may be as well." He turns to them. "Buffy, what you feel from Faith is her current, up front emotion. We all have many things that we feel all the time, about many different situations, but only one thing that we feel that can control the way we act. That one is the one that is pushed to the front of line, so to speak. But Faith's underlying fear of it may be the key." He looks at Buffy curiously. "But you… you don't feel the same way she does, I take it?"

"I feel every way she does," Buffy says flatly.

"No, I mean about the situation. You must like it for it to dominate you this way," Giles says pointedly. That makes Faith turn to her in surprise, and Buffy look at the floor.

"Not… _like,_ exactly…"

"B, how the hell can you like this?!"

"Hey!" Buffy says, getting exasperated right along with Faith. "It's not like I'm so bold about what I feel, you know! Maybe it's just easier if I feel yours!"

Faith just stares at her incredulously.

"Buffy, I think you need to realize that this is not a good thing," Giles says, pointing out the obvious. It just infuriates Buffy.

"Well I can't just turn how I feel on and off, okay?! It doesn't work like that! And I don't appreciate you guys ganging up on me!" she yells, and then turns and stomps right out the door. Faith doesn't go after her, she's still reeling from the fact that Buffy seems to like this craziness on some level. She stares at Giles.

"Faith, I think you may have to show her that this isn't something that she should hold onto," Giles tells her softly.

"How?"

"I don't know, but this can't go on. I don't like that we're interrupting Angel's life because of this."

Faith sighs, but she nods. She doesn't want Angel to take over training the newbies. That's not his responsibility, it's theirs. She has no idea how she's supposed to convince Buffy that this could be bad for her, but she's going to have to figure it out.

Fast.

**TBC…**


	18. Chapter 18

**_A/N: In regards to one reviewer who said_** _**"I don't know why, but I got a feeling this might get bad..." I LOL and tell you all that you get that feeling cause I'm a sucker for angst, pain, and drama. Haha. Anyway, for those of you enjoying this story, I'm also writing another one right now called "The Chain of Destiny", so look that up if you have the time :)  
**_

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

"Faith…"

Faith stops in her tracks from the sound of the voice. She was on her way to Buffy's room, where she's sure the slayer is stomping around and pouting, but she turns instead to see Angel leaning against the wall. Faith feels her stomach drop to the ground. Man, she didn't want to do this without Buffy. She feels like she owes Angel her life, and stealing his girl? Not a nice payback.

"Hey… Angel," Faith says, clearly uncomfortable. She runs her fingers through her hair and looks around, seeing if they were alone. They were.

"It's okay," he tells her, noticing how nervous she's getting. He gets off of the wall and comes over to her. "I'm not mad at you."

That didn't help Faith much, and Angel can see it. She wraps her arms around herself and tries to force a smile, but it just comes out looking awkward. "Sorry…" she says, her eyes shifting. She felt like she didn't really deserve to look at him. She shrugs a little, self conscience. "I should've told you… we should've told you. You weren't supposed to find out like that…"

"Faith, me and Buffy have been over for a long time now," Angel reminds her. Faith still won't look at him. She feels vulnerable all of a sudden. "And I know how you've felt about her for awhile now," he finishes. That makes Faith look at him.

"What am I, an open book now?" She's a bit defensive, she can hear it in her voice, and it makes her cringe a bit.

"Let's just say lying has never been your strong point," Angel tells her. "And hiding things goes along with that."

"Hid it from B well enough."

"Buffy sees what she wants to see," Angel says. Faith's back to not looking at him again. "You might think you're the world's greatest imposter, but I figured out how you felt a long time ago. It wasn't that hard after you tried to destroy everything Buffy had just because you couldn't have her."

"Really not looking to have a sit down about old times," Faith says, avoiding his gaze. Her eyes do flicker to him for a second, but they fall to the floor again as she tightens the hold on herself.

"Faith…" he says, and she looks at him again as he puts his hand on her shoulder. "Just be good to her," he finishes. Faith doesn't say anything, she just nods, and he squeezes her shoulder a little before walking off down the hall. Faith lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding and turns to watch him disappear around the corner.

Well, on a scale from one to suck, that didn't go so bad.

She makes her way up to Buffy's room slowly, trying to give herself time to think about what Giles told her she needs to do. But she can't come up with a plan, has no fuckin' clue how to go about any of that, so when she reached Buffy's door she had nothing. She sighs and knocks on it, and she decided to take Buffy's yell of "Go away!" to mean "Come on in!" and opens the door.

"Are you deaf?" Buffy snaps as she watches Faith come in and close the door behind her. Faith's glad right about now that she doesn't feel how pissed off she is, otherwise they'd probably throw down.

She tries to keep her own emotions under control as she comes back with, "Actually I'm a slayer, so I tend to have immaculate hearing, but thanks for the concern."

Buffy just glares at her.

Faith sighs, stuffing her hands in her pockets. "Look, B—"

"What did you do with my body?" Buffy asks all of a sudden, the anger still not gone from her face.

"What?"

"My body, when you took it out for a little joy ride around the town. What did you do with it?" Buffy snaps. Faith's eyes go wide.

"Why the hell are we talking about this _now?"_

"Because I think you're a liar!" Buffy exclaims, now obviously just wanting to fight about anything just to fight. It was starting to piss Faith off, and she couldn't stop it. "You're all _'Oh Buffy, I want to see you naked, I want to touch you'_ and yet you've been wanting in my pants forever now, so don't tell me that the first thing you did when you got my body was start memorizing every detail and having yourself a little hands on!"

"Are you _shitting_ me with this?!" Faith screams, now completely infuriated. She was right, yeah, she was _right_, but fuck, she ain't gonna tell her that. And the way she said it was just so fucking cruel that it makes Faith want to hit her. She clenches her fist, trying to stop that urge. But now Buffy's all up in her face_, taunting_ her.

"I bet it killed you," she says in an evil whisper. "Knowing the only way you could ever touch me was that way. I bet that's why you did it."

Faith's fist collides with Buffy's face before she can stop herself, but Buffy doesn't hit her back. She just rubs her jaw, a little smile of victory on her face. "I knew it."

"Go to hell!" Faith screams, her eyes stinging from the tears threatening to fall. _Why was she doing this?_ But she sets her jaw tightly. She was not going to cry. She _wasn't._

"Aw, are you gonna cry now?" But she has a quiver in her voice, almost like she's going to too but she's trying to hold onto the fury. But Faith doesn't hear it; she can't concentrate after what Buffy just said to her.

That was it. Faith launches herself at her, but Buffy ducks and she misses. It's a fight of pure, angry, blinding fury as things get broken and harsh words are said. Faith's jaw hurts, her side hurts, and she's pretty sure a couple of her knuckles are broken. But she can't take it, she can't take this; the fighting, how cruel Buffy was being, and when Buffy's got her pinned, spitting more harsh words in her face… she feels herself start to break.

"Why are you doing this?!" Faith sobs, not being able to control the tears anymore. It hurts so badly, through every part of her body and she can't deal with it. Buffy looks down at her and Faith can see her start to break down too. She gets off of her, choking back a sob, and Faith sits up. Buffy covers her face in her hands as she gets away from her, her own tears starting to fall as she backs up and curls herself into a ball near the bed, her legs pulled up close to her chest.

"I'm sorry…" she manages to get out through her tears.

"You're _sorry?!"_ Faith yells, furiously wiping at the wetness on her cheeks. She gets up and backs herself far enough away from Buffy so that she knows she won't be affected by her anger. "What the hell is _wrong with you?!"_

"I was trying to make it stop!" Buffy cries, uncovering her face to look at her. Her mascara was streaked down her cheeks. "I was trying to make myself scared of it! That's what you want, right?! I thought that maybe if I got you to hate me, if I felt that, that it would scare me enough and that it would _stop!"_

"You're fucking _sick!"_ Faith screams, the pain clear in her voice. "You… you're fucking screwed up in the head! Like put you in a straightjacket _fucked up!_ How could you do that to me?! _Was it fun for you?!"_

"No!" Buffy cries, looking at her desperately. "Please, Faith… I didn't mean anything that I said; I just wanted it to stop. I was trying to make it stop for _you!"_

"And you do that by _hurting me?!"_

"Faith… please…"

"No, Buffy. _No!_ I am not your fucking lap dog that you can just _shit _all over whenever it's convenient! You crossed the fuckin' line," Faith tells her, her voice shaking from the fury and the pain. She looks at her like she has no idea who's in front of her before she heads towards the door.

"Faith!"

"Stay away from me," Faith says in a low voice as she pulls open the door. She doesn't look back at her, even when she hears her name being called again. She just walks right out and slams the door, making the doorframe shake from the force.

She cried for what felt like forever, but probably was only a few days. She just didn't understand how Buffy could do that to her, not after everything. She understood her wanting to make it stop, but there was no way in hell she had to do that. It didn't even fucking work anyway, so all it did was just tear their relationship to shreds. She tore her down and broke her apart for something that didn't even _work._

Two days after their fight, Faith was still cooped up in her room. The only time she would ever come out was to get something to eat and at the moment she was starved. She starts walking down the hallway, always hesitant when she walks past Buffy's room. Every time she walks past she hears her crying, sometimes to Willow. It hurts, but she's too pissed to care. She's almost a safe distance away, almost in the damn elevator… when it opens and she comes face to face with Kennedy.

"Great," Faith deadpans.

"Going down?" Kennedy asks her with a little smile that Faith does not feel at all comfortable with.

"I think I'll take the stairs," Faith says, turning around. But of course, because the world fucking hates her, Kennedy is hot on her heels.

"Good idea, I could use the exercise."

"Is there something you wanted?" Faith snaps, too upset to play these stupid games right now. She opens the door to the stairwell and starts descending, and Kennedy is still right there next to her. She has the fleeting thought to throw her _down_ them, but then remembers she's not an evil bitch anymore. Pity.

"Buffy wants you to know she's really, really, _really _sorry."

"What are you, her messenger?"

"Please, no," Kennedy says, scoffing. "But seeing as your head is too far up your own ass to pay attention to anyone other than you, I figured I'd try to help out where I can."

Faith rounds on her, fury in her eyes. "Are you just _looking_ for a beat down, or is this just my lucky day?"

Kennedy doesn't back down from her threat. She just cocks and eyebrow at her, folding her hands across her chest. "Faith, just stop being an idiot. If you aren't, I'm gonna have to tell you, and I know she'll be pissed if I do. She wants to be the one to say it."

"Tell me _what?_ What the hell are you talking about?"

Kennedy sighs, sitting down on one of the stairs. Faith just stares at her so she taps the stair next to her, "Come on, sit. Let's have a little girl on girl chat here."

"I'm fine standing, thanks."

"Faith, just fucking sit down for a second," Kennedy says, looking at her like _she's _the annoying one. Faith lets out a breath filled with aggravation, but sits next to her.

"What?"

"Alright, first, Buffy's really sorry and yada yada, you get all that. She was a bitch, she shouldn't have did what she did, big crying fest all over _my_ girlfriend, and then apparently the most obvious thing in the world comes and smacks her on the back of the head."

Faith looks at her like she has three heads. "Do you make sense to you, or are you actually aware of how insane you sound? You're seriously trying my patience."

"Look," Kennedy says, sighing. "I'm not going to tell you specifics. It isn't my place. But you guys… you feel each other's emotions, right? But from what Buffy says it's only the ones that are up front and center. Well, she felt something before that she thought was coming from you… only now I guess she realizes it was her. There was another big freak out after that one."

"Just spell it out for me, shit." Faith was getting agitated, like she should know what she's talking about but she just can't think of it right now.

Kennedy shakes her head. "I can't do that. You're going to have to talk to her." She looks at her pointedly. "And Faith? You better talk to her. Trust me; you won't want to miss this one." She gets up, leaving Faith to her thoughts. Faith was going to say something back, but when she finally figures out what it was, Kennedy's gone.

Faith sighs heavily and gets up, every ounce of her pride telling her to not go back to Buffy. Yet she found her feet bringing her to her bedroom door. She stops outside, trying to focus on what Buffy's feeling on the other side of it so she knows what she's getting into. All she felt was pain and sadness, but seeing as that's all she's been feeling the last two days, she figures it can't get much worse. She opens the door without so much as a knock; since she knows Buffy could feel her on the other side of it anyway.

"Faith…" her name is said like it was the best name in the entire world, but sounded completely broken at the same time. Faith looks at Buffy, at the state she's in, and it just kills her inside. She was a wreck. She didn't look like she's been out of bed at all. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were puffy and red and used tissues decorated the room.

"Hey," Faith says softly. She closes the door behind her and then starts walking towards her slowly, wrapping her arms around her torso. "Kennedy said you… uh, that you had something to say…"

"I am so sorry, Faith!" Buffy bursts out, and suddenly the tears are flowing again. She sobs as she continues, though Faith is having a hard time making out the words through the tears. "I-I was horrible to you and I was stupid, a-and I know you have no right to forgive me for being such an idiot, b-but I need you, I need you Faith a-and I can't let you go without letting you know that, without letting you know t-that I… I…" she starts crying harder, not being able to control it.

Faith just watches her, feeling the familiar squeeze on her heart. She can't just sit there and watch Buffy be in pain. She makes her way over to her, sitting on the bed she strokes her hair softly. "B… hey, Buffy… come on, don't cry…" But that just makes Buffy cry harder, leaning against her and burying her face in her neck. Faith purses her lips, trying to not feel her heart break as she wraps her arms around her, pulling her close. "Shh…" she whispers softly as she rocks her a little. "Shhh baby… it's okay…"

"It's not okay!" Buffy cries out, but it's muffled in Faith's shirt. She sobs harder as she tries to talk, "I screwed everything up! I don't think and I'm selfish and I just ruin everything!" Well, Buffy was still dramatic, that didn't change. But Faith kisses her forehead, leaving the drama be.

"You didn't ruin everything," she tells her. Buffy sniffs, looking up at her. Faith sighs and wipes a tear away. "You fucked up, I'll give you that, you hurt me so fuckin' badly… but I dunno, maybe I'm the idiot." She sighs and shakes her head a little. "I mean, me the masochist, right? Can't stay away from things that hurt me…"

"I don't want to hurt you…" Buffy sniffs, touching Faith's cheek with the heat of her palm. "And I know I did, and I don't know how to fix it…"

Faith takes Buffy's hand in hers; pulling it off of her face and placing it back down. Buffy looks like she's going to break from that one simple rejection. "B…" she sighs, "Shit, I don't know how you can fix it either," Faith says, honestly. "But I ain't stupid. I know why you did what you did, even though you could've fuckin' went about the thing a whole shit load better. But getting me to hate you…" Faith laughs a bit, though she couldn't really find the funny. "I've never hated you, Buffy. Ever."

"But…" Buffy starts, looking at her with wide eyes. "The Mayor, and—"

"Fine line, right?" Faith asks softly. "Between love and hate, or whatever. I know that better than anyone."

Buffy sniffs, her throat tightening, and Faith watches a single tear roll down her cheek. "I wish I knew…" she breathes out, her voice hitched. She puts her hand on Faith's leg and she lets her leave it there. Faith just looks down at it for a long time.

"I'm always going to love you, Buffy. No matter how bad you hurt me. I think I'm a sucker for the pain."

"Don't… don't say that," Buffy says, but Faith won't look at her. She takes Faith's head in her hands, making her look up to face her. "Please… you have to believe how sorry I am. I swear I will never do anything like that to you again. I need you, Faith… I swear, I won't ever go off and do stupid things without talking to you first. It's me and you, okay? It's always just gonna be me and you…"

Faith can feel her throat tightening from the emotion. "Always?" she asks with more vulnerability than she wishes. But that word meant so much more than it sounded, and both of them knew it.

Buffy strokes her cheek softly, saying with all the emotion and honesty that she had in her, "Always…"

**TBC…**


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

"Hey," Buffy says softly as Faith stirs, yawning a bit as she wakes up. They had both fallen asleep together; exhausted from the emotional roller coaster they had been on for the last couple of days. Faith doesn't say anything; she just lays there as Buffy brushes the hair away from her face. "You hungry?" Buffy asks. Faith just shakes her head no.

She didn't feel hungry. She still felt sick.

Buffy watches her as she looks down before bringing the covers up around her chin. "You're still mad at me, aren't you?" Buffy asks her.

Faith just shrugs a little. "I'll be okay. Worse things have been said to me."

Buffy strokes her face softly, but Faith instinctively flinches. Buffy looks like her hearts about to break from that one movement. "Faith…" she says softly, looking at her, her expression filled with pain. "Just tell me how to make it better…"

Faith has a flashback to the roof, the Council, the argument. She pulls the covers around herself more. "It's cool, B. We're cool."

"No, we're not. You can't even handle me touching you…" Buffy says, then voices what Faith is feeling. "You're afraid of me," then she pauses, realization setting on her face. Faith furrows her brow as she watches her. "I…" Buffy starts. "I just had to dig for that…" Her eyes are wide. Shocked. It makes Faith sit up.

"What?"

"It worked," Buffy says softly, looking at her like she doesn't even know how to process that information. "I just realized… I can't feel you. Not unless I look for it…" She looks at Faith, not knowing how she's going to take that information; worried about it, almost.

That news should've made Faith feel better because it meant that Buffy did what she did for a reason. That it worked and that was just the consequence. But it didn't feel better. Maybe a little bit, but not enough. "How?" Faith asks. "I never hated you."

"Fear," Buffy says, still in her little dazed place. But she snaps out it and looks at her, her voice stronger now. "You… you said it was about fear. But it wasn't the fear of you hating me. I think it's the fear of losing you…"

"Well, great," Faith says, but she doesn't sound like she means it. "It worked then. Congratulations."

"Baby…" That makes Faith stop, looking at her. Buffy never called her baby. Buffy takes her hand in hers and says, "I need you, please don't shut me out. Let me… let me make it up to you, okay?" Faith doesn't say anything though, so she presses, "Tonight? Can you… I mean, do you want to… go out with me tonight?"

Faith blinks. "Are you askin' me on a date? Like a real one?"

"Yeah," Buffy says, smiling a little. "Yeah, I am. So… would you like to?"

Faith feels nervous all of a sudden. She looks down at the comforter, picking at it a little while she shrugs. "I dunno, I mean… I ain't ever been on one of those. Not real sure I'm the date type."

"Of course you are," Buffy says, smiling, trying to comfort her. She laces their fingers together. "You don't have to be a specific type to date, Faith. You just have to be with someone you care about…"

Faith feels herself smiling a little, despite herself. Then she makes a face, "You're not gonna make me wear a dress, are you?"

Buffy laughs. "No, trust me, I wouldn't dream of it. I like you the way you are; I don't feel the need to change you." She shrugs. "Besides, knowing us? Our party will probably end up getting crashed by some demon from hell. Rather not fight in heels. Trust me, I've done it. It's not fun."

Faith looks down at their intertwined hands for a moment. "Where are we gonna go?"

"It's a surprise."

Faith smirks, looking up at her. "You have no idea, do you?"

"None what-so-ever," Buffy says, cracking a smirk. "But I'll figure it out. I'm gonna take you out, Faith. I'm gonna show you what you mean to me tonight… alright?"

Faith nods slowly, feeling so much like a little girl all of a sudden. Buffy smiles and leans in, kissing her softly. Faith closes her eyes and that feeling of disbelief washes through her again as she realizes that even with all the bullshit, all the angst, all the fighting, all the pain… Buffy is still her girl. And maybe that might be worth all the hurt, in the end. Maybe this is just what they had to do… get through all of it to get to the good. Someone once told Faith nothing good came easy, but she never believed it. Want, Take, Have. But they were right, she knows that now.

It still hurt. What Buffy did and said to her still hurt, but she tried to work through it. She was so nervous about going on a date that she was sure she was going to be sick. Butterflies were going fuckin' haywire in her stomach like they were pumped full of amphetamines. It took her forever to get ready, just trying to look somewhere between the realm of girly and slutty. She wanted to look nice for Buffy, not be the skank that she usually is, but she also wanted to somewhat be herself.

She opted on some nice jeans with a button down shirt that showed enough of her cleavage to get attention but not make her look easy. She tried to go a little more subtle on the makeup too, working with browns rather than hooker red. And when Buffy came to her door, dressed in nice pastels with a skirt that left just enough to the imagination, she took one look at Faith and told her she was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen in her life. Faith blushed, but Buffy didn't poke fun at her for it. She just leaned up, gave her a soft kiss, then took her hand and led her to the car that Angel let them borrow for the night.

They pulled up to a night club, and Faith raises her eyebrow. "A club? Figured you for the dinner and movie type of girl."

Buffy smirks as she parks the car. As she turns off the engine she says, "Yeah, but tonight isn't about me. And I know you love to dance."

Faith smiles; she never actually expected Buffy to think of what she would like. But her grin spreads ear to ear as she gets out of the car, "Well then let's tear the place up, girlfriend."

The music is loud, the lights are flashing and the bass is vibrating the floorboards as they step into the club. Faith's still grinning, loving the atmosphere, and she takes Buffy's hand in hers and immediately pulls her to the dance floor. It almost reminds her of that night in the Bronze; the night Buffy almost let go and became like her, only to have the world crash down around them when things got too out of hand. But before the shit of that night, there was something like this. It was the first time either of them every really felt the connection that flowed through them, that they belonged together. It was intoxicating; the feeling of both of them. Being around each other, feeling each other; connecting in that way; tonight was no different.

The world around them blurred and the people were nothing more than shadows. It was all just a focus, a straight fuckin' beeline to the only woman who ever mattered in her life. They looked into each other's eyes and completely let go of thinking, and every single person in the room seemed drawn to them, but they never paid any notice. They were both lost in a haze of each other.

When they finally took a break, Faith took Buffy's hand and led her to the bar, blowing off the line of guys who were trying to make advances on them. Buffy giggles before Faith pulls her over, putting her back to the bar as she leans against Buffy's chest. She leans down and kisses her passionately, and Buffy wraps her arms around her neck and just dives in head first without caring about who was witnessing it. It made Faith smile against her lips.

"You thirsty?"

Buffy smirks, the adrenaline pumping through her veins. "I want to kill something." She runs her hands down Faith's back, landing on her ass. She cocks an eyebrow.

"There's a graveyard not far from here," Faith tells her, the need to hunt her prey situating itself deep in her being. She fidgets a little in anticipation. Buffy grins wickedly.

"I know, that's why I chose this place. We're going to do your four favorite things tonight," she loops her fingers in her belt loops and starts backing up, taking Faith with her out the door.

"You know my four favorite things?" Faith asks with an eyebrow cocked as she follows her. Buffy just smirks.

"Do _you?"_

"Dancing," Faith lists off as they walk out the door and down the street to the nearest graveyard. Buffy turns around to walk beside her, sliding her hand down her arm until their holding hands. She nods at the first one, and Faith continues, "Slaying." Buffy smiles and nods again, leaning closer to her and looking up. Faith looks down at her and smirks, "You."

Buffy laughs, "I didn't include me on the list. I'm sure that would've made me sound kind of cocky."

They make their way to the gates of the cemetery, and Faith looks at her. "You bring stakes?" Buffy shakes her head with a little smile.

"Today is creative slay day."

Faith smirks. "I like those." She reaches up and grabs a hold of a tree branch, snapping one off, and then snapping it in half and handing one to her. "Wood," she says with a little wiggle of her eyebrows and Buffy giggles. "Alright… two left, huh?"

"Yup."

"Food," Faith says with a smile, Buffy nods. "And… well okay I know what my last one is but I don't think we're thinking the same thing."

"Wanna bet on that?" Buffy says with smirk, and Faith's eyebrows rise.

"You sayin' you're putting out tonight, Blondie?" she couldn't help the surprise that colored her voice. Buffy just shrugs innocently, but then says:

"Vampire."

"What?"

But Faith ducks automatically as her senses attune, and she whips around to come face to face with not the prettiest undead thing she's ever seen. "Hey, do you mind? We're in the middle of a conversation," Faith snaps at him and she steps back and focuses her senses on her surroundings.

"Vampires are always so rude," Buffy says, sighing a bit as the thing growls at them, advancing.

"Slayer…"

"Uh, excuse me? Slayer_s,"_ Buffy quips back, pointing between the two of them. "As in, the Chosen Two? Or, actually, now there's about a couple Chosen hundred, so I don't know what that makes us anymore…" she feigns playing dumb, acting like she's thinking really hard about tha, and when it launches at her, since she seems to be the weakest link, she side steps him, turns around and backhands him into the ground before Faith's tree branch pierces his heart. He turns to dust before their eyes. Faith sighs.

"Too easy."

"Sorry," Buffy says, walking over to her and pressing herself against her body. Faith backs up a bit until she's pressed against a mausoleum, taking Buffy with her as she smirks. Buffy wraps her arms around Faith and looks up at her. "It's a Tuesday night; vamp activity usually isn't at its highest. I probably should have thought that through more. Besides," she sighs. "Only the newborns are going to come up to us willingly. The word that slayers are awakening everywhere has reached the underground."

"B…" Faith says, not really caring about slaying anymore, only thinking about what Buffy was implying before. "You know you don't gotta fuck me to say you're sorry, either."

Buffy laughs a little, but Faith doesn't see what's so funny about that. She looks at her like she's adorable for even thinking that and takes her hand. "Come on; let's go back to my room. I have a surprise for you…"

Faith has never been good with surprises though, so the whole way back she was pestering her to tell her. She probably sounded like a kid on Christmas, but she's never really had a surprise. Ever. In her whole life. At least not the good kind. Buffy just laughs at her though, apparently finding her eagerness endearing, and tells her she has to be patient. Faith pouts and Buffy leaves a lingering kiss on her lips with promises that it'll be worth it.

She's got a feeling it's food. If she wants to go through the four things; dancing, slaying, food, and sex, usually food would come after the slay, and definitely before the sex, otherwise they'd never get around to eating. Well, in the food sense, anyway.

Buffy though, was apparently thinking along different lines.

She brought Faith into her room, sat her down on her bed, and told her to close her eyes. Faith did as she was told, having the urge to peek but knowing Buffy would get pissed if she did. So she tried to be a good little slayer and do what Buffy asked. She was itching with anticipation and she fidgets a little in her seat. She's not the most patient person in the world.

But something doesn't go according to plan, obviously. Buffy apparently seemed to overlook the large flaw of her suddenly becoming nervous. "Okay…" she says softly, a little shake in her voice, after a couple minutes of silence. "You know how you can have these great ideas in your head? But then when you go to do them you realize you're too chicken to actually really _do_ it?"

"Can I open my eyes?"

"Not yet," Buffy says. Faith feels her come over to her, and suddenly she's climbing on top of Faith slowly, straddling her. Faith can hear her heartbeat speed up, and she purses her lips together softly. "Open your eyes," Buffy says quietly.

Faith opens her eyes, sucking in a breath at the sight of Buffy completely naked on top of her. She just stares, kind of shocked still from the realization. She knew that Buffy had an intimate night planned, but maybe part of her didn't believe it. And there's still a part of her that wants to tell her that she doesn't have to. She knows she's just trying to make up for being a bitch before.

"I was going to try to mix the last two," Buffy says softly, her voice shaking from how nerve wracked she is. She holds up a can of whip cream. "But then I thought a whip cream bikini would make you laugh, and I think I'd die if that happened."

Faith tries to process that information, but all she can really think is along the lines of: "Buffy. Naked. Good." Bit prehistoric guy there, but it's the truth.

"Say something," Buffy begs quietly, becoming embarrassed rather quickly.

"Wow," is all Faith can manage at the moment. She blinks, then lets her eyes sweep down Buffy's form, her gaze lingering between her legs probably a bit longer than it should. When she looks back up, Buffy's blushing. "B… you… I mean, you're… _beautiful,_ and this is… probably the best fuckin' night of my life… but you don't have to—"

Buffy covers Faith's mouth with her hand, making her last words come out mumbled beneath it. She puts down the can of whip cream on the bedside table before turning back to her, still keeping her hand there.

"Okay," she says, taking a deep breath. "I'm going to say something, and… you can't interrupt me, okay? Promise."

Faith nods mutely under her hand and when Buffy takes it away so she can speak she says, "Alright, I promise."

"Okay," Buffy says again, and she's clearly nervous. She bites her tongue softly before taking another deep breath. "You remember when we were talking about dominant emotions, how we could feel those? But then there were underlying ones too, ones that were always there, that we could never feel from each other?" Faith nods, and Buffy purses her lips together. She starts picking at Faith's tank top self consciously. "Well, I felt something from you, at least I thought I did, but I guess I really didn't. That I couldn't. So then I realized that I was feeling it, and it freaked me out a bit, or, okay, a lot, at first… but then I thought about it and it made me happy, so I think you should know what it is, that I should tell you what it is."

Buffy looks up at her, catching her gaze. Faith just looks at her confused, not fitting the pieces of the puzzle together on her own.

Buffy takes another breath, and Faith can hear her heartbeat start going a million miles an hour. Buffy's trying to calm herself down, she can see it, and she wets her dry lips before she tells her quickly, "I'm in love with you, Faith."

Faith's eyes go wide and she just stares at her. She's pretty sure her brain just halted to a stop.

"That's what I felt," Buffy says, in a bit of a rush. "I felt love, remember? But I couldn't feel love from you. That was mine; my emotion, my feeling. And I thought it was too fast so it had to be you, but it wasn't, and I'm… I'm in love with you."

Faith just continues to stare at her.

"So, I mean, this? This isn't about an apology; this isn't about trying to fix things. This is just about that; that I love you and you love me, and since we fixed the connection I think we should… show that we love each other, right?" She looks at Faith like she needs her to say something, but Faith still can't talk. "Right??" she asks, a bit more desperately this time, her nerves taking over.

"You… love me," Faith says slowly, trying to wrap her head around that one. It sounded kind of absurd.

"Yes," Buffy says, looking at her strongly, trying to stress the point.

"…Are you sure?" Faith asks and Buffy slaps her arm… hard. "OW!"She rubs the offended area.

"Faith, don't do the self pity thing, don't do the 'I'm not worth being loved thing', or whatever you're about to do. Please. Just…" she touches her face softly, all this emotion pouring from her ever word, "Just tell me that you love me. Just kiss me. Just make this moment perfect. Please…"

Faith looks into her eyes, still not believing that this is really happening, but she says softly, "I love you, Buffy Summers." A smile breaks out on Buffy's face and it makes Faith smile too before she pulls her in for a kiss.

As Buffy gently coaxes Faith to lie back on the bed, Faith can't help but think that this had to be just one really long dream, or one large elaborate fantasy. But as Buffy starts to take off her clothes, kissing every inch of her body, she realizes that, hell, even if this is a dream, she hopes she never wakes up from it.

**TBC…**


	20. Chapter 20

_**A/N: Another warning for girl-on-girl lovin'... which, really, if that bothers you I don't know why you would read a femslash story in the first place lol. Anyway, thanks guys for all the reviews and support through this, I really appreciate it! It's been a great way to slip back into the fandom. Ya'll make me feel loved ^_^**_

**CHAPTER TWENTY**

Sex is something Faith has always done spontaneously.

There's never been any dates, never been any relationships. It's always a drunk or slay induced haze that she finds herself falling into. The edges of reality blur and she slips into a state that's bordering on primal and it's damn near insatiable. It's never about thinking. Her body reacts to being touched; to the feeling of being lusted after. It runs through her veins like fire and she finds she has an infatuation to being consumed whole and burned from the inside out.

But this was different.

There is no spontaneity. No fault of alcohol or slaying. There are no instincts, there are no animalistic urges that are growling to be satisfied. There's the lust, there's the passion, but she's thinking too much, thinking to _god damn much_ about Buffy. About her and Buffy and how a month ago she would have bet that she'd die from a lightning strike than ever sleep with her. How she would have bet her left fuckin' leg that Buffy would never want her in that way. In any way. Especially that she would never love her.

But she does. Buffy's head over fuckin' heels and she can see it, which is probably what's really scaring her. It's so much different now. It's like the world had gone and changed on her without any kind of fair warning and time for her to prepare. She still isn't sure how she's supposed to deal with it. Maybe she is a sucker for the pain of Buffy, but what does she do when there is no pain? What does she do when all that's left is love, tenderness, smiles, and warmth?

It makes her nervous.

This. All of this. She's naked beneath Buffy and they're kissing. It's so slow, so damn agonizingly slow that it makes her feel everything. _All of it._ It pours through her and begs to be held onto but all Faith wants to do is fix the feeling into something she can understand. She wants to just growl low in her throat and take Buffy just like every other person she's ever done. It's easier; it's familiar. It makes all of this so much less fuckin' scary and yet… she can't find it in herself to move. Not a damn muscle.

Buffy's lips are dragging across her throat and Faith closes her eyes, trying to remember to breathe. But it's hard. She wonders why she could sit there and masturbate with Buffy in the same bed as her and be fine. She wonders what was so damn different about that. Maybe it was the connection, how it was all screwed up and affecting each other; maybe because it was something that she could classify as raunchy; maybe because it was just sex, where as this…

She's never done this.

Faith's hands wrap around the bed sheets, but it's not for something to hold onto; it's to stop her hands from shaking. She lets out a quiet breath as Buffy's lips are making their way slowly up to her ear. Her hot breath is tickling one of her biggest erogenous zones and she can feel the anticipation run rampant through her bloodstream. Her neck is a weakness, which is probably ironic for being a slayer. It's a trust zone, is what it really is. It's a place to be marked; to be claimed. To be fuckin' owned as someone else's. She's never let anyone stay there for that long, no matter how good it felt. It's a feeling of vulnerability and it usually makes her push other people away. But for some reason it makes her love Buffy more.

"You're shaking," Buffy whispers in her ear as she places one of her hands on her stomach. The warmth calms the butterflies in her stomach, but only dully. She starts dragging her fingertips softly, making Faith's skin jump underneath her touch. She inhales a sharp breath.

"I'm just…" Faith starts, but then she chickens out. "Fine," she finishes. She still doesn't open her eyes to look at Buffy, and the older slayer kisses her neck softly.

"I don't know what I'm doing," Buffy admits softly, her words vibrating the base of her neck slightly. She kisses her again lightly. "I guess I was counting on you taking the lead on this one…" but then her teeth sink into her, making Faith arc her back and cry out as her fingers dig deeper into the sheets. Buffy lets her go, letting her tongue drag across the tender flesh beneath her to heal it. "But I guess this is all me, huh?"

"I'm fine, B. I swear," Faith breathes out, opening her eyes to look down at her. Buffy looks almost as terrified as she feels, but she's dealing with it better than the brunette is. She gives her a small smile, and when she kisses her and cups Faith's neck with her hand, Faith can feel that she's shaking too.

"You're not a good liar, you know," Buffy whispers against her lips. Her hand touches her cheek tentatively as she tells her, "I know you've never done this before…"

Faith swallows as her throat begins to dry. "I've had sex," Faith says. "A lot of it," she adds as an afterthought. But Buffy's gaze is too intense and she finds herself looking away, but Buffy gently guides her face back to look at her.

"You've never made love."

Faith doesn't say anything. She doesn't have to anyway because Buffy already knows. She gives her a brave little smile and kisses her softly again on the lips before telling her, "So… as this is my area of… okay, not expertise, but I've had more experience with it then you, so… I guess this is all on me." Faith tries to say something, seeing that she's nervous about this too and she probably shouldn't have to be the one driving during her first experience with a woman, but Buffy puts a hand over her mouth to quiet her. "No," she whispers. "Let me make love to you, Faith."

Faith chews on her bottom lip a little before she slowly nods. Buffy takes her hand away and kisses her again before she whispers her request, "Just tell me if I'm doing something wrong," which makes Faith laugh a little. It makes her feel better; more comfortable.

"Like I said… don't really think you can do it wrong. You got all the same parts as I do."

Buffy smirks a little as her hand falls downwards to drag over her chest, "Like these?" she asks innocently while her fingertips graze her nipples. Faith inhales sharply and closes her eyes, feeling them harden under the older woman's touch. She nods mutely. She doesn't have to open her eyes to know Buffy's smirk widened at that. She also didn't have to open her eyes to know that her reaction made Buffy feel bolder. It was humming under the surfaces of her own nervousness, and she already knows where Buffy's hand is going before it reaches there.

"Or this?" she asks just as innocently as her fingertips brush over her clit. Faith gasps quietly, spreading her legs wider instinctively. But she can feel Buffy's nervousness start to seep up to the surface again as she passes by it and chooses instead to let her fingers linger on her thigh. Faith takes a breath before opening her eyes to look at her.

"Lay down," she tells her softly. Buffy looks at her confused and Faith takes Buffy's hand, leading her to lie back down on the bed next to her before she rolls over so she's hovering over the blonde. Her heart is going about a thousand miles a minute but this is everything she's always wanted and she's damn sure gonna get it, one way or another. Nervousness can fuck off right now.

Hopefully.

"This is my area," Faith tells her softly in explanation before letting her lips fall to her neck while her hand makes its way between Buffy's legs. Buffy gasps softly as Faith rakes her nails up her thigh gently. She bites down and rolls her skin between her teeth softly, marking her. If she was going to try to make love to her, then she damn sure was going to mark Buffy as hers. Buffy groans from the feeling and wraps her arms around Faith, her nails digging into the flesh of her back.

"Mine," Faith growls against her neck, pressing her body firmly into hers to further enhance her point. Her leg slips between Buffy's, pressing deep into her core and making Buffy moan hard from the pressure. Faith can feel her heat and her desire dripping down her thigh and it feels like a rush of adrenaline runs through her.

"Yours," Buffy gasps out, rocking her hips slightly against Faith's thigh as she bites her bottom lip and closes her eyes. "Faith…" she breathes out lightly as the brunette's lips are kissing down her shoulder slowly, descending down her chest until her tongue flicks out to gently tease a nipple. Buffy groans and arcs her back, pressing her center further into Faith's thigh. "God…"

Faiths mouth wraps around her fully and she bites down gently, vibrating her with her teeth in a way that makes Buffy squirm beneath her and gasp out her name again like she couldn't get enough of saying it. Faith closes her eyes, feeling the connection deepen between them. She tries to concentrate, tries to bend it, manipulate it to her will. She can feel the psychic waves ripple and start to shift, and so can Buffy.

"What are you…?" Buffy tries to breathe out, but she's quickly interrupted.

Faith uses one hand to anchor herself to the bed as she starts making the boundaries slip and move down her body. It feels like it takes forever and it's hard for her to focus on concentrating, but it's only a few moments until she realizes that she has complete control over anything as long as she desires to have it. Then it's focused, all in one tiny area around her thigh. Faith can feel the smirk start to spread across her face before she suddenly looks up at Buffy, letting their eyes meet before she pushes both physically and psychically against her center.

Buffy cries out loudly, one hand slamming so hard against the headboard of the bed that it splinters and falls apart as Buffy hand goes right through it to hit the wall. The plaster crack around her fingertips and Faith's eyes go wide as Buffy screams as she tenses, her back lifting off the bed as the ripple of her orgasm pulses against Faith's thigh. She's breathless as she comes down, panting and gasping as she realizes what just happened.

"Damn," Faith says, her confidence hitting the freaking roof. "Look what I can do."

"How…? You…? What… did…? _God…"_ Buffy pants out, trying to calm herself down. All Faith can do is smirk as she watches her, officially naming herself Queen of the Lesbians in her head. Kennedy be damned. Bet she can't do _that._

Faith laughs a little from Buffy's disorientation before she leans in and kisses her. "Queen of the Lesbians," she boasts softly, giggling a little against her lips.

"How did you… how did you _do_ that?" Buffy gasps out.

Faith smirks. "Maybe I'll show you one day…" she teases before she starts sliding her body down Buffy's. The older slayers skin is slick from the light sheen of sweat that litters her body post orgasm and Buffy's still struggling to breathe normally.

"Faith… I… I'm…"

"Not nearly finished yet," Faith finishes for her before she situates herself between Buffy's legs. Buffy tries to find something to say to that, to tell her she's already spent, but Faith is going to have none of that. She kisses her thigh lightly a couple times, her lips lingering slightly as they climb further towards the center of her legs. Buffy's weak with anticipation, Faith can feel it, and when she finally reaches her destination, Buffy moans hard as she spreads her legs as wide as she can possibly have them go. Buffy's hands tangle in the brunette's hair as Faith wraps her lips around her clit gently, not wanting to overdo it at first since Buffy is already sensitive. "Oh god baby…" Buffy breathes out from the feeling. "Yes… _please…"_

Obviously she changed her mind about not being able to handle it.

Faith chuckles a little, vibrating her sensitive flesh and making Buffy thrust her hips further into her face as she pants out her name into the darkness of the room. Faith takes her time; that feeling of disbelief washing through her again. _She's going down on Buffy Summers._ It's almost a laughable statement if not for how sexy it is. Buffy's crying out and squirming beneath her, continuously saying her name. Maybe she's in disbelief too and needs to hear herself say it, or maybe she's doing it to remind Faith that this is real. Maybe it was for both of them, or maybe it was just because Buffy doesn't have a single other thing on her mind besides her.

"Faith…" Buffy pants out again, though this time she's trying to say something. "Faith, I…" Faith kisses her gently before looking up at Buffy, who's panting still. "I need to touch you," she gasps out, her voice dripping with all the need and desire that Faith thinks she's ever heard voiced by another person.

Their eyes connect and Faith smiles softly before ascending up Buffy's body. She climbs on top of her slowly, agile almost, and she can feel the slayer within her start to take over her body. Every movement is precise with a purpose; it's almost like an animal. But that's what slayers were; hunters. She's hovering over Buffy, never letting her eyes leave hers as Buffy's hand slides down Faith's stomach slowly. The anticipation is eating her alive and she can hear her breathing quicken before she lets out a heavy breath once Buffy's hand slides into her heat. "Shit…" she swears, closing her eyes at the feeling of the blonde's touch.

She lets herself down slowly so she's next to her instead of hovering because she knows eventually her arms aren't gonna be able to hold her. Her head falls to rest on Buffy's shoulder, her head buried in the crook of her neck as Buffy starts softly stimulating her, making her gasp quietly. She spreads her legs wider as Buffy's fingers make their decent, and she slips her own hand between their bodies until her fingers find her clit. She presses against it just as Buffy's fingers slide inside of her, making them both cry out.

Faith can feel Buffy's hesitation and her nervousness though and Faith kisses her neck softly reminding her, "It's just masturbation in reverse."

"Bit more than that," Buffy breathes, her voice shaking from her nerves. Faith kisses her neck again, trying to calm her before she slides her fingers gently inside her. Buffy gasps softly and Faith tells her,

"Then I'll show you."

Buffy's inner walls clench, drawing Faith deeper inside as she bites on her bottom lip. Faith continues to kiss her neck as she starts a slow, steady rhythm, making Buffy pant softly and push her hips into her hand. "Don't do the psychic… whatever you did last time," Buffy requests softly as she rolls her hips against her. "I just want to feel you…" She opens her eyes and looks at Faith, who smiles before coming into kiss her gently.

Gentle didn't last for long though because once Buffy got into the feeling she became bolder. She slides her fingers deep inside of Faith, making the younger woman growl against her lips before kissing her passionately. They're panting against each other's lips as they rock against each other, the looming feeling of infinite ecstasy building deep in the pit of their stomachs.

Buffy's shuddered breathing and gasps of pleasure push Faith further along the edge. She can feel every inch of her, every feeling and every breath she takes. The connection grows deeper, almost burning them as it fuels their desire. It's almost painful but so damn close to perfect that it makes them cry out, the heat of their bodies slicking them with sweat as they slide against each other. It runs so much deeper than just the physical, even further than psychically. It's almost like their souls were speaking, and ridiculous Faith thinks that sounds if it's ever voiced out loud. But even if it is ridiculous, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered besides Buffy, besides _them_. Nothing mattered besides the feeling of the two of them together and how maybe Kennedy was possibly right when she referred to it as destiny.

Because that's what it felt like.

Everything is blurring and all that's left is feeling as Faith cries out, muffling her screams by biting down on Buffy's shoulder. Her whole body tensing as she feels Buffy clench around her fingers in almost a death grip as her body simultaneously follows after Faith, having them both fall over the edge and into oblivion. Buffy grabs onto her back as she screams her name loudly and with no remorse, her nails digging in so much Faith is sure they broke the skin. But it doesn't matter. Nothing in this fuckin' world matters to her besides Buffy now. Maybe nothing else ever did.

"Fuck, Buffy… _fuck…"_ Faith breathes out, her eyes still closed as she lays on top of her, basking in the feeling. It was like no sex she's ever had. She's had great orgasms before, but nothing like this. Nothing so deeply connected; nothing that ever really meant anything.

And this meant everything.

"I love you Faith…"

Faith opens her eyes, sitting up a little to look down at Buffy. "I love you too," she whispers, leaving a lingering kiss on her lips that she knows is going to last forever.

Maybe it wasn't destiny, maybe it wasn't really anything big in the whole entire spectrum of life and whatever else… but damn, it felt like this was what her life was leading up to. All the bullshit, all the pain, all the hurt… because suddenly? It was all worth it.

But she's pretty sure it would always be worth it for Buffy.

**THE END**


End file.
